It's a daily battle i just need SUPPORT!!

Since April 2011 through diet and exercise to date i have lost just about 80lbs. My friends and family are happy for me and all but my mom didn't do well with RNY back in 2001 due to not following the eating changes, etc.. My friend also overweight tries to be supportive but at the same time while being honest with her and telling her some of the side effects of RNY she tells me all the time you are doing so good now just continue and you don't even need to have surgery.. she is also obese. I don't know what to say to this..... i know she loves me but it kind of hurts my feelings. Yes i am strong and have lost a ton of weight thus far without surgery but i live a battle everyday. I am never full very rarely.. my feet hurt, i have sleep apnea, i still crave food it's just a matter of not eating it not because i am not hungry but because i know it will be bad if i do eat it.

 

I have bounced up and down 10lbs or so i have lost the 80lbs but that wasn't without me gaining some back and then losing it again. She is worried about my body image with sagging skin, "flap jack" boobs as she calls it, dumping, etc... i just don't know how many more details i need to get into to make people get why i am doing this.

I am on my feet all day at work and i sweat all around my lower "apron" area it's gross and makes me feel dirty.. i get boils and rashes from skin rubbing.... it's more than just anything selfish for reasons to get "skinny"

I want to be able to see my women parts... i want to be able not to wear bladder control pads at 28 because i alw"ays think i am "leaking" I want my feet to stop developiing inflammation and hard calluses is this selfish reasons to want RNY? I mean honestly?? I want to be able to go to a public restroom and not have to immediately run to the handicapped one because i need "room" I feel like i have so many good reasons and it's not for me just about being "skinny" and honestly i don't ever want to be skinny.. i want to be "healthy"

Speaking of i went to the gym yesterday and now i have a nasty painful rash under my "apron" one of the many dissapointing battles of being obese so much for that gym visit tonight now i am raw and red =(

 

Sorry just needed to vent...

Congratulations to your amazing 80 pound loss.  Your fortitude and strength shows that you will be a wonderful success story.  In regards to the skin, in most cases with that amount of weight you will end up losing, you may qualify for skin removal. Keep in mind, though, that it is only skin and does not affect your health the same way the extra weight does. The skin wont give you diabetes or heart disease.  In fact the skin is often referred to as a badge of honor. Because of the hard work it will have cost you to have the skin!!

At 28, your life is ready to blossom and your choices are plenty.  Not everyone is going to join in your efforts or your choices.  That is something you will get used to once you begin making choices that are in your best interest. Being strong enough to share your change with your friends may not be easy but certainly will be rewarding once you achieve your goal,  No one has to understand your journey, except for you.  Its your path and your success!!

 

Be well and choose healthy!!  Rain

Hi and hugs...

Unfortunately - pot op RNY or even VSG -   "i still crave food it's just a matter of not eating it not because i am not hungry but because i know it will be bad if i do eat it. " - I deal with that every day. The RNY did not fix that. I want bread, and pasta, and pizza. I want some potatoes. But if I eat them - I will gain weight. Some people can eat that - very small amount - pre -measured, but most stay away from simple carbs, and those who do not - either exercise a lot to burn that - or if they do not - they most likely may gain the weight back, if not all - then a lot of it.

I get full on dense proteins, but I also need to eat 3 meals and 3 -4 snacks - all protein base.  The surgery did not fix what I want to have - just how much. And most carbs are slider foods - and I can eat and eat and eat ... and never get full. 

I hear you... but if you are really dedicated - as young as you are - I would consider VSG or DS. 

More ((HUGS))

 

not selfish at all. You deserve all those things and more. Does this friend happen to be a former "eating buddy"? if so,she could possibly not really want you to lose weight permanently.

You might have to not discuss surgery with her anymore or your weight loss attempts. 4# to go,hell to the yes,keep on rocking! WLS is gonna be the best thing you ever did.

Vent away!  You're in the perfect place to do so, and we've all experienced part if not all of what you're feeling.

First off.....I congratulate you on your amazing 80 lb weight loss on your own.    I know that was hard work !!   As for what your friend is saying is WRONG !!!   I have a feeling that she doesn't deep down in her heart she is afraid that YOU will not be her friend when YOU get thinner !!!   Also.....your Mom not being successful with her WLS has NOTHING to do with you have WLS.   To be successful you have to follow ALL OF THE RULES !!!    My advice to you is do what YOU feel is right for you......for me.....I would still be morbidly obese if I had not had my WLS over 7 yrs. ago.    That is the very BEST decision that I have ever made.    As far as your "apron"....I hate to tell you this but if your apron is bad now...it will ONLY get worse as you loose more weight and don't buy into the concept that you can exercise and it will go away.    THAT just won't happen.    I lost 140 lbs....mine hung almost to my knees.    Start saving NOW for a panni removal or tummy tuck when you get the weight off ( if you insurance won't pay for any reconstructive surgery ).    You are YOUNG....I was 52 when I had my WLS and 54 when I had a lower body lift.    Yes....you WILL probably have saggy skin....but you will have your health and feel amazing !!!  After your  weight loss you can run up stairs....fit into booths without your skin sitting on the table.....polish your toe nails with your foot in your lap...tie your tennis shoes.....fit into "normal" size clothes along with many many other things I could go on and on.    I applaud you at your young age wanting to take control of your life and your weight before your health declines.    As far as what WLS to have...that is YOUR choice.    Don't let anyone on these or any other message board tell you which to have.   They ALL work.....do your research on what procedure to do the pro's and con's of each and then choose from there.   I wish you SO much luck with your decision and don't let your friend or anyone else keep you from achieveing your life goals.     BTW...thy Desinex foot powder under your "apron stomach".    I had the very same issues you had and that seemed to work as good as anything for me.    It would clear up the rashes very quickly.    Trust me...many many of us can totally relate to your issues.   You will be in my thoughts and prayers as your do what is best for you !!!   Congrats again on all you have already achieved.

 

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Your story is very similar to mine. I had lost almost 80 lbs, and everyone, though supportive about the surgery and my choice, kept saying," you don't need to do it. You're doing so well in your own!"

Well, like you, I was tired of doing this over and over and being tired all the time. I had made up my mind about what I wanted. And I wanted to live. Not just be alive, but actually be out there enjoying my life!

I think you should do what you feel is right for you! I know for me, this was the best decision I could've made. Either way, were all here for you.

Hi!  I had a RNY bypass done 10 days ago.  I thought it might help to give a different perspective since I am going through what some people call "The hard stage". 

So, I was 130 lbs until my 20's, then 150lbs before I had kids in my early 20's, then 180 lbs after my 1st, 210 after my 2nd, and 250 after my 3rd.  I developed thyroid infections that stunted any weight loss from the time I turned 19 until I was 30 years old.  Not enough of a problem to need meds, just enough so I could not lose more than 5 lbs that I would then get back.  I finally made a commitment to start working out regularly when my obesity caused me bladder issues and depression and my weight was at 265lbs.  Unfortuanately I lost only 6 lbs and then I had an accident while working out that bruised 4 ribs and sprained my ankle causing me to need to do NOTHING physical for 8 weeks.  I decided I had had ENOUGH!  I set up an appointment with my Bariatric Surgeon. I just KNEW I could not get where I needed to be for my health and happiness on my own anymore.

I have 2 friends who have had Sleeves who were great sources of information for me.  They helped me to get a head-start on things like getting my psych eval done and being proactive about gathering existing dieting and medical records.  My surgeon accepted any blood/xrays/testing within 6 months of the appointment so I was able to circumvent redoing a bunch of tests they did during my injury.  I was injured on May 31 2012, I went to my Meet the Surgeon at the end of Sept, I had my 1st Drs appointment on Oct 25th, I was approved by my insurance on Oct 30th, I had preop on Nov 21st, I had surgery on Nov 26th. 

It is really funny how people in my life reacted.  My mom was happy I was trying to do something about my health, but scared. My hubby was scared but supporting.  My 1 friend with the vertical sleeve was actually Mad, she wanted me to do the Sleeve too, then later told me she wished she had done the RNY.  Talk about confusing me.  My 2nd friend with the Vertical Sleeve disappeared from my life from the time I started preop (5 days****il 9 days after with the excuse "She did not want anyone around so she assumed I didn't."  The more people I told the more mixed the reactions were.  I also met more people who had had some form of WLS by talking about my own journey. 

What did I learn from this?  Everyone is UNIQUE.  How you react, how they react, how your body reacts is not predictable.  What I did was ask myself some important questions.  What are my goals?  Can I achieve them if I continue on my current path?  What path will let me achieve these goals?  What am I willing to give up?  Then I told myself a couple of things.  #1 I am NOT a failure, only my current path is the problem.  #2 There is NO easy way to lose weight , so I can not be "taking the easy way out".  #3 Every day is a new day to do better both emotionally and physically #4 I will find new solutions to roadblocks in my life.  They required detours instead of stopping all my progress. 

Everyday is a "Battle".  I am just choosing to win my personal war.  The RNY has given me that feeling of fullness after a few bites.  Yes I think my 3 year old can beat me up because I am pretty weak right now, I had surgery 10 days ago!  I struggle with drinking but today is a good day because I struggled less.  Choose the surgery you want or don't want based on being educated by Dr's, people who have had them, and READ up on them.  You don't choose a surgery based on your favorite color.  Your opinion should be the only deciding factor, because after it is done...YOU are in the drivers seat.  You put the food in your mouth, you feel the pain, the reward, the sense of accomplishment or failure.  It is your body, your emotions, and if you were to be deserted by one or all of the people in your life YOU would be the only one there to keep yourself going.  Hope this helped best of luck to you.

Thanks Dawn! I needed that today!