Eating Guilt!

Hello All,

Today I am feeling so guilty; I gave into my demons (food) and cannot forgive myself. I feel like I have been cheating more often than I should but today was the kicker. How do I forgive myself and move on?? This is the reason I was fat in the first place because I could not forgive myself and I would eat to cover the emotions which only destroyed my feelings of Happiness.

I am 15 months post op and have done amazing!! I have lost a total of 114 lbs and went from a size 22 to a 10.. Wow!! Never in a million years did I think I would be a size 10. BUT today I went to a Chinese buffet and over ate! I have not done this since the surgery and people tell me its ok BUT SERIOUSLY it is not ok!!! That how it all starts! I need some good advice on how to forgive myself besides telling me "I deserve to do it once in a while" and “you did not eat much at all”. Because I know that is not realistic for me- it is my addiction…. Please help I am feeling horrible.

Hi!

I have such bad guilt also. I  cannot even eat pleasurably anymore...you think that would stop me! I just go on a walk, plan my meals for the next couple of days and move on. I am so hard on myself, I have to constantly remind myself how far I have come! Good luck

I think this is something that many of us struggle with. The key is not to let your guilt spiral into more bad choices, and ultimately derail your (quite amazing!) success. 

We are all human, we make mistakes. But the bigger mistake would be to hold onto that guilt, because it will make the rest of your journey harder. You wouldn't carry extra rocks in your backpack if you were going on a hike, would you?  This is what guilt is like when we carry it around, useless weight and pain that we don't need to carry, it only slows us down. 

SIt yourself down, let yourself fully feel the guilt, and then forgive yourself and let it go (you might try this via mediation, or just sitting quietly for awhile.)  Now use that new energy to re-dedicate yourself to your journey, and continue your marvelous success.  YOU are an inspiration to me, I hope this helps you to move past the guilt. 

Mo

If you are unable to let go of the guilt maybe try some counceling to learn other coping skills. Addiction usually takes some type of professional help. Good luck!

How about telling yourself, "I have an addiction.  I am not perfect.  Today I made some choices I regret.  I will try to make better choices tomorrow."

And then come up with a plan for how you're going to do that.  Are you getting treatment for addiction?  Going to therapy?  Overeaters Anonymous?

Can you avoid buffets in the future?  Do you have a friend, therapist or sponsor you can call when you get the urge to overeat?

Forgiving yourself doesn't mean saying what you did was OK or that you deserved to do it.  It just means accepting that you aren't perfect and you will sometimes make mistakes and you can make better choices in the future.

Tomorrow is a new day, get right back on track, that is my only advice.  I could say you should spank yourself but wouldn't that look silly.  Everyone ***** up occasionally, it's life, get back to work tomorrow, not Monday not next weekend,  tomorrow.

I just love all the wonderful advice you've gotten here, and agree with everyone. What really stood out to me in your post was that the overeating didn't bother me too much, we all make mistakes. What bothered me was the guilt! That guilt you carry around is way more toxic than a bad choice at a Chinese buffet. Let it go - you'll be okay...

I completely understand.  I'm 4 years out but restarting to aim for my goal weight.   For the last year I've eaten in all kinds of ways I shouldn't and I'm reteaching myself to do the RIGHT things and make the RIGHT choices.

Last night my husband took me on a date to Olive Garden - I was determined to do well.  I did for the *most* part, but still had a bread stick with alfredo, and more salad/soup that I should have to stay within calorie counts.

I feel guilty this morning. I feel frustrated.    But...

I also feel determined.  To get back on track.  To stick to my calories, protein, and water today and to celebrate the other days this week that I did really well.

We all make mistakes.  I don't believe there's a single person on OH.com that hasn't made them.   We just have to remember to pick ourselves up and get back on track the next day!