Straight up...I'm a fool.

My weight loss has been alright... I'm down 70lbs from 258lbs, from April 22nd 2013.... YAY!!!!  :D BUT.... Right after surgery I became best "friends" with percocets. (not for long, mind you).... Finally I had over come that STUPID addiction and now I'm on the look out for other addictions.... I went to alcohol.... HATE it (even though I am an ex-alcoholic), valium, oxy (YUCK), Which is a good thing...but it seems like I need something more.... I know this is nothing that I should be proud of. I am clearly ashamed, lost and in need advice... Go ahead....be mean, be rude, be straight forward... WHATEVER...... it is who i am, and I'm trying my best!!!! It's hard 

I have a WONDERFUL support system, husband (#1), daughter, friends and family...and yes, i do think of them consistently..but sometimes my mind takes over... I know for a fact I am a great mother, wife and friend... I'm not a bad person... I'm just lost and need some suggestions/advice on how to pass this phase in my life...........mind you, I NEVER have gone over board.... i just feel like something is missing....

Anyone else feeling like this? any advice would do.

Thanks for taking the time for reading this and any input rocks!

This site has been a big help through my journey.

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!

This is a topic that has come up before.  We did a search for wls and addiction, here is the link.  

http://www.obesityhelp.com/search/action,search_oh/?q=weight +loss+surgery+and+addiction&cx=000946886326336472648%3Ae-vpe g4uyxw&cof=FORID%3A9

Read what other members are saying about this topic. 

We hope this helps.  Good luck.

Transfer addiction is common after WLS.  It's great that you have a support system to help you get through it.  Do you also have a therapist?  What about a 12 step group?  If you're looking for a new, less damaging addiction, what about exercise?  Strange as it sounds, intense exercise can cause a high and be addictive.  Heck, I even saw a woman on extreme couponing who transferred her shopping addiction into couponing, then gave everything to the food bank.  Obviously the best choice is no addiction, but you don't sound like you're ready for that. 

Aww hon it sounds like you are struggling. You are newly post op too! You have got to take care of yourself THE BEST YOU CAN, especially now, and also forever. You don't want to mess up your health both physical and mental. Yeah, you haven't gone overboard yet. But it's such a slippery slope. You need to get this crap together before it gets out of control. I highly suggest talking to someone professional about your issues. Remember your body is the ONLY one you get. The medicines could be hurting your body especially just having had surgery. Get this under control now before it gets worse and you will be paying the price with your health. Your family NEEDS you 100%. Not 80%. 100%. Big hugs going out to you. I have not struggled with transfer addictions but there are plenty of people who have and you just have to be very careful.

Seriously, try the exercise route. I NEVER would have believed it, but I liken the high off a good days workout now to a combination alcohol buzz and vicodin/perc hit, without a crash. I struggled on the edge of full addiction transfer for months after surgery as well. Thankfully I have now been able to settle on exercise and haven't had a drink or taken a pill in the last couple of months. It may not work for you, but I would seriously give it a shot, because I know I feel SO much better this way, and it's stable. No ups and downs.  

I did cardio for months and the "high" from exercise never really hit me until I added solid weight lifting.  Now i look forward to going to the gym. Sure has shocked the crud out of everybody that knows me haha. Good luck with everything!

No you're not , you're a very brave person to post this .  (((())))

The truth is , most of us had to be compulsive / emotional eaters in order to get MO size ... and we all had to figure out how not to slide over into another self-destructive seat on the addiction bus as they like to say in 12 step meetings ...when WLS took our favorite fix away .

I  agree with Joe here - I started running first thing every morning , even if it was only ten minutes  before work every day post op . It gave me enough of a runners high that I could make it through the day ...

I also scheduled long hikes and sails with friends to both move and socialize on the weekends ... staying busy really helps .

Finally letting myslef cry over the years of pent-up frustration , lost dreams , my sadess over the "wasted  " years that led up to WLS in a therapists office really helped too - no only did it lance the boil of suppressed emotional pain and shame that was the food  addiction's driving force ..I  was encouraged to focus on my goals now and work toward them weekly .  Its amazing how fast life changes in a positive direction when we give ourselves permission to pursue what we really want and deserve . 

So sorry you are going through this. Here are some virtual hugs for you.

I am pre op, but the local WLS support group is a great place to vent,question,cry, celebrate and get advice.

Maybe a group of supportive people that know what you are going through can provide a little bit of what is missing?

Hope you find peace.

Jae

Please don't call yourself a fool. You are not a fool. You've made some wrong choices, but heaven only knows, we all have. Most of us here on OH have made years and years of poor choices that have led to our obesity, as well as, other poor choices that have affected our physical, mental and spiritual beings. NO LIVING PERSON IS PERFECT or free from tendencies to "go to" things or other relationships to try and "fix us", to complete us, to fill up the emptiness. NO ONE.  

You are not alone. I hear you and I understand. I hurt with you and for you. I've been there too many times in my life, due to one loss or another; one disappointment or another. Many times I ran to food. I tried alcohol during one season of pain. I tried new relationships during a period of pain. I tried education and accomplishment. Money, importance, etc. NOTHING fills that, for me, except GOD. He is my Healer. He is my Comforter. He is my Provider; my Strength, my Hope, my Joy. Nothing and/or No One can or has brought me satisfaction and peace, except Jesus. I know alot of people won't and don't agree. That's okay. I can only testify as to what has helped me during those "empty lonely times.

I also agree with those above, first and foremost, seek out a good personal counselor that you feel comfortable with. Don't skip out on this because you think you can fix it yourself. You can't, or shouldn't try to do it alone. This site is great, but nothing can compete with a face-to-face real live person. Of course, as you probably already can tell, I would highly recommend a Godly counselor. I recently retired from a career in counseling, but have myself, even as a person who worked in the mental health field, sought out and received personal counseling for my weight issue as well as other every day stressors that is just part of life.

I am in NO WAY wanting to sound "preachy", judgmental, or opinionated. All I can do is tell you what has, and is working for me. Please know your on my heart and in my prayers. You can do this. I know you can and will. I look forward to seeing the miracles that will be part of your future.

Respectfully said and sent with love in my heart for you.................Susie

Beautifully stated Susie.  I totally agree, this works for me as well.

While it is my desire to lend assistance, it is not my desire to be rude or flame you; however, I do think a wakeup call is needed.

You state that you know for a fact that you are a great wife, mother, and friend, and my response is to communicate that, like all addicts, you are currently in denial and are failing to realistically see how your addiction is altering reality.  

Anytime someone is abusing a mind altering substance, they are not at their best.  You may be functioning to some degree, but you are not giving your family the best of you if you are abusing alcohol or any other substance.  To be a great wife, mother, and friend, you have to be giving the relationship the best of who you are, and it just doesn't sound like you are giving your best self at this time.

While you may not actively be abusing today, it appears you may be "white knuckling" an attempt at sobriety.  

Also, there is no such thing as an ex-alcoholic...  

Does this make you a bad person?  Absolutely not.  Reading your post communicates that you are a good person looking for help.  You are a person who is struggling with something bigger than you who needs some help in becoming the best of who you are.

I would so encourage you to get into counseling with a therapist specializing in addictions.  As well, Alcoholics Anonymous, and/or Narcotics Anonymous  is also a place where you can seek answers and support.

Please know that I have just sent up a prayer for your recovery, and am sending you a big warm hug filled with assurances that I have every faith that you are going to find your way.  To seek help and support indicates that you are aware that things are not what they should be, and this is a huge step towards wellness.

Wishing you true happiness and health.