Do you tell people about having had a RNY?

And when I say tell people I mean anyone? I discussed this with my husband. I told him my choices were die or get this done, and I choose to live. I have not told anyone that I had this done. Not best friends, not my teenagers, not my parents or sister. No one. I know my sister is an RN and totally against people having any bariatric surgery. My parents would side with my sister plus they were having a discussion about this just a couple days ago and are adamantly against any one who has surgery.  I never even told any one that I was contemplating having surgery. On one hand I feel phoney and on the other hand I say this is my life.  Any thoughts out there?

I tell people when it's relevant.  Basically, I tell the same people I told when I was having surgery to remove my gall bladder.  I don't see how it's any different.  I had a medical problems that could best be treated with surgery, so I had surgery.

Sure, it's your life.  You have every right to get the medical treatment you feel is best for you, even if some people are against medical treatment.  I know there are people out there that would think I did something wrong by having my gall bladder removed.  They might think I should have prayed for the gall stones to go away or something.  But it's my life and I thought having surgery was best for me.

I don't feel phony if I choose not to tell someone personal stuff that's not of their business.  I would feel phony if I lied about it, though.  For instance, I am disabled and I have a service dog.  Sometimes complete strangers will come up to me in a grocery store and ask what's wrong with me.  I say something like "I don't share personal information like that with strangers."  I don't make something up and lie. 

I have been very open and honest with most people.  And the amount of support has been amazing!   

One thing I am learning .People will try to figure out what you had done.I will tell people that I am close with and people that are supportive.Well I never told my parents that I had RNY.Well my mother asked me yesterday how I was doing losing weight well then out of her mouth came did you have that surgery done.I lied.I am not ready to tell her.I know what will happen she and my sister will get together and make fun of me for what I have done.They have done this since I was a child.

So of course it bothers me that I lied to my mother.But I go to see my therapist in two weeks and we are going to go over this together.To see if it is worth it.I need to stay confident and healthy.If you have  group of friends I would tell all or no one.It is a hard decision to make but know one can make it for you.I don't feel like a phony but I do feel like I am ten years old and lied to my mother.My father has major anxiety and does not seek any help for it.He would drive me nuts.He would call every day just to  make sure I was okay.

Everybody's family is different. I have six cousins who have had it done.One is a raging alcoholic but I think she was like that before the surgery.The other five are doing well.But my mother does not like them so she never has anything nice to say.Sorry for rambling but I woke up the other night with indigestion really bad and I know it was about this and not what I ate that day.So I am still trying to figure this out. One thing I will say is I am not ashamed of what I have done.I don't feeling like dealing with BS from my family.

Good luck.

Thank you for the response. I keep second guessing my decision to not tell any one. I think I've made the right decision for now. I'm not opposed to telling people, it's just that I don't want to deal with bs. I'm 11 days out. I have not lied, yet. No one has directly asked me if I has wls.  I had 2 hernias fixed during RNY and I just told every one about the hernia fixes.  

I've posted this before - but I'll say it again.  I told just about everyone!  I explained that I had come to the decision after much research and had come to realization that this was the best option for me and I wanted their support.  Telling people makes them so much more comfortable to give you positive feedback as they notice your weightloss.

I carried the burden of the extra weight around for so long, not to mention  the feelings of the guilt for failed diets.  I wasn't about to sign up for "making up stories or lying" about why I was losing weight.  PLUS, I never ever wanted anyone to think I was sick, and not feel comfortable talking to me!

Not one regret for telling people and I'm happy to be the poster child for WLS!

I'm with you, I've told everyone.  I am not ashamed of my decision at all.  People are very open and inquisitive actually.  It's been great motivation to have them compliment me on my weight loss without being "unsure" of what I've done to lose weight so rapidly. 

Pre-surgery, I'm telling people that shouldn't find out I've had surgery from a phone call saying that I died during it :P  Morbid, but that's what works for me.  This means my partners, my parents, and my 3 best friends.  I also told my brother.  And, of course, I've told a few health professionals because it's relevant to them.  

But that was my comfort level.  If you're not comfortable telling anyone else - don't!  If you have a gut feeling telling you not to tell someone, it's probably there for a reason!

It has been tough.. I asked a nurse I work with for the info after SHE had it done.. and told her I was NOT going PUBLIC about it, because there are somany people I work with that have been so negative. I realize this is a good choice for ME, and that not everyone chooses to do it. Unfortunately, the word "got out". and I hear people making such rude comments, "those people never feel good, they are always sick".. even some from the DR's that come to my TCU where I work. Not that I have confirmed the rumours. I still feel uncomfortable, because of the negative remarks. Despite the fact my husband, and kids are supportive, for me to do what Ineed to.. They are scared of coure, things can go wrong.. so am I.. but the pure excitement of being able to look forward to the results of this is enough for me. I have not figured out what to say after I get back to work.. but that is why I joined this forum. for the support, and talk to other people that have had it. My BESTfriend is one of my BIGGEST problems, she is always saying such negative comments, she herself being close to 400 pounds, and a serious "foodie".. I am not the same way, I just tend to overeat, and with the increased weight not as active. But I am ready for a change. I am just taking it day by day, and will be visiting often to see how eveyone else is doing...

Just remember that the best revenge is living life well - so the best thing you can do is prove these negative nancys wrong by being awesome :D