Friday Motivation! - Others judging you

This past weekend I went with my husband to his 40th class reunion. I didn't grow up around Saint Louis (I'm from California) and I don't know very many of his friends from high school. Plus it's a second marriage for both of us and we have only been married 10 years this month.

Well, he posted a picture of us on Facebook from the reunion and someone ask what I had been doing to lose weight. One of my Keto friends jumped on and said Keto and then they flat out asked if I had WLS... I feel like that's none of their business and rude as well, I just haven't answered them. If they want to know they can ask in private, I still may not tell them. But why do people feel my medical history is open for anyone to ask. How do you deal this that? I've had a mixed bag of reactions on my WLS, my family and close friends are all very supportive. I've had a few outside that circle tell me I took the easy way out or that I will gain it all back plus more... WTF? Sorry, this just happened and I'm feeling a little raw.

Liz

Hi Liz,

I know right? I didn't tell anyone at work and only a few family members knew. I was so afraid of failure I didn't want to fail in front of everyone. As I lost weight and starting feeling better about myself I got to a point where I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. He** yes I had surgery, do you want to make something of it? Most of the time the questions happened when all of the sudden I was smaller than them. To be honest I lost what I thought were some really great friends. They could not handle the new me and I couldn't handle their comments and trying to make me feel like I cheated.

The bottom line it's YOUR JOURNEY. You do what is best for you and don't worry about anyone else. You may have to walk away from some. Let them guess what is going on and type, see ya next reunion

Take care,

Kathy

Thanks!

Liz

I have never been embarrassed to tell people I had WLS. My thought process was that, if I can help somebody get a healthier lifestyle, then I owe it to them to tell them. I tell them right up front that I used to weigh 454 pounds and had a 64 inch waist. I am not ashamed of my progress and will never be. If they want to talk about me later, then that is their problem, and maybe somebody will hear them and it will help them!

NEVER be ashamed or embarrassed that you made a decision to have a better life! Shout it out...YES...I WAS HUGE BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!! Then say, If you want to know about it, ASK! Then tell them the WHY first, then the what and how! Be secure in yourself and NEVER let anybody else steal that feeling that you are doing something GOOD for your life!!

Good luck...illegitimi non carborundum!

What works for some doesn't for others.... It's important for us to be at peace with our choices.

Frankly, even asking about your weight loss is extremely rude. You're right. It's NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and your body isn't up for discussion.

I may seem cold, but when I have been in situations like that, I respond with, "While I am certain you mean to be complimentary, I find discussions about my weight and body to be uncomfortable and inappropriate. Thank you for understanding."

Thank you! This really helps me a lot. I'm going to a few parties this month and I'm going to use your response.

Liz

That is not rude at all

When I don't want to talk about my weight/surgery, I like to use a set phrase, then change the conversation.

"I'm not comfortable talking about my health, thanks. So what do you think about that local sports team?" And yes, when I'm feeling snarky, sometimes I will literally say "that local sports team" so people KNOW that I am deliberately changing the conversation.