Hello everyone! I am new to this forum and am seeking help for my child, spouse and myself.  I have two children, a daughter (18) who has always been thin(5' 6" and 112 lbs.), just like I was until after having my children son (just turned 13) who was tiny as well until around age 5 when he just started getting heavier fairly quickly.  He is now around 5' 6" and 238 lbs.  My husband was always thin until after high school and has struggled with his weight as long as I've know him (15 years) and would be considered obese.

I really try to keep healthy food around, we rarely have things like chips or sweets sitting in the cabinets or refrigerator.  I have never been really great at denying my son junk food when he asks although I try to limit size and quantity.  The problem I have is that he is constantly eating and most of it he sneaks into his room.  It happens all the time that I go to make something for his/my lunch or dinner and find that something I needed has been eaten up.  The thing is that it is never a small amount, but the entire bag of grapes or carrots, the whole block of cheese or all the lunch meat.

I try to keep him busy, especially this summer, he has been a counselor in training at the YMCA and been in 2 theater productions requiring several hours of practice whi*****ludes dancing, but whenever he's home he usually just stays in his room watching videos on his phone and eating.  He has put on over 8 pounds this summer. 

 I tried going back to work this spring after being a stay-at-home-mom for the better part of 13 years, but within about 6 weeks he gained 30 pounds and all his school grades dropped significantly so I stopped working to come back home and have tried to prepare healthy meals again, I did a terrible job when working.  We are trying to eat the mostly Paleo style diet that we were eating a year ago when we each lost around 20 lbs.   I worry about both of my boys because diabetes runs in my husband's family and they almost all struggle with obesity.  I have also had gut issues, diverticulitis 4 times in just over a year and hospitalized 3 of those times.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope some of you have some words of wisdom for me.

Thank you!

I had the sleeve.

I have to ask...

Pre-operation, is diet soda OK? Is it as awful as some sites make it out to be?

First of all, I want to thank you as much as I can through a keyboard. Your reply helped me tremendously. I've been sitting here feeling awful - alone, angry, and just generally miserable. I haven't spoken about this to any of my loved ones yet and I'm not sure how to broach the topic.

I keep coming back to the fact that I just don't understand it. Sure, I need to eat less and exercise more... but, again, I am not sedentary and I don't eat crap. Everyone looks at me now and assumes I eat terrible **** I used to be very, very skinny... and I can definitely tell a huge difference in how people treat me. I haven't changed my eating habits much since I was underweight - that's the thing that blows my mind. I love to cook; I love to make fresh food. If food has a bar code on it, I feel like I'm doing it wrong. I eat too much... but is it really this much? Really?

Everyone judges me now. Having been extremely skinny and now morbidly obese, I am shocked at the difference in how people judge me. A doctor I saw for an unrelated problem sneered that I "needed to cut out the cheesecake, or at least eat less of it." A guy in the grocery store laughed at me for buying a container of ice cream - which I brought to a party, and didn't eat any of (I really, really, really do not have a sweet tooth).

I'm still sorting out a lot of thoughts right now, and some of them are falling out of my fingers. Consider this a stream-of-consciousness. Any anger is directed solely at myself and my misunderstanding of this whole new world of morbid obesity I've slowly woken up to. A doc told me I get another ten good years, then ten years of diabetic slowdeath. Eight years ago I weighed under a hundred pounds. And today I can't even walk without gasping in pain.

Thanks to your message, though, I've started keeping a food diary. If, after a week of being under 1600 calories per day (along with walking 3-4 miles every other day), I gain another pound - which has happened before - I honestly don't know what the hell I am going to do.

I can't be a miracle of science; I can't gain weight without taking in calories. I know that. I know. I just don't know where they're coming from and I'm at my wits' end. To have everyone assume I got this way because I am lazy, or stupid, or I clearly eat a breakfast of ice cream covered twinkies with butter on top.

Anyway. I apologize for my rambling note here, but finding this board - and reading your reply - is like manna in the desert. Thank you.

I didn't follow any particular kind of diet to lose weight but tried to eat healthy foods and avoid all kinds of unhealthy, junk and processed foods. 

If you're a beginner , there are few things you should know:

 Losing weight is a simple equation: if you burn more calories than you eat, the weight will come off. Start off by estimating how many calories you burn each day using the daily calorie needs calculator online. This will give you an idea of how many calories to eat. Healthy weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week. To lose 1 pound per week you need to create a calorie deficit (burn more than you eat) of 500 calories per day. To lose 2 pounds a week, you have to double the deficit to 1000 calories per day. You can achieve this by eating less, exercising more or a combination of both. So If you're wondering how to lose belly fat in a week or two, I would suggest you to be consistent and regular. Eat healthy foods, avoid junk foods, exercise regularly. Both cardio and weight training is necessary in this matter. Hope it will help.