Dating
Well ... I'm not twenty obviously ...but also obviously in clothes ( and yes i consider bikinis clothes ) pretty darn hot ( ty God )
but I'm very scared ! I'm a scarred up veteran of the weight loss wars! I've had like a thousand plastic surgeries.... of COURSE I can't compete against what God generously gave a nineteen year old . 
also I think I DESERVE a guy who appreciates me for who I am not just the physical talent . Im a super artist - an innovative tv producer and actor .
I'm ridiculously successful BUT I can't get with a superficial guy from like Tinder or Raya I mean SERIOUSLY who would ? Hollywood grrlz may have compromised themselves for JOBS why would anyone to get SEX ? Shoot I could get laid from here to the corner six times .... probably with someone attractive.... I don't go out like that
My last two boyfriends were far younger than me ( the first pre WLS and he was a professional athlete a baseball pitcher )
working out with him daily I was the most beautiful I've ever been .... and also felt the most loved .
Our housekeeper used to laugh when we ( daily ) asked her to go to visit her family ... shop at the store etc cuz we needed time alone to exercise the mattress lol. He cooked for me ( and was ridiculously jealous and baby-pumping to the point where we broke up )
so I'm very spoiled . Yes gross old men try to impress m with their wallets and honestly I laff. But I'm not twenty anymore ...!and I see so called perfectly rational guys I know for years getting ENGAGED to graduate students/ ****s ??!! WTH?!
Honestly I don't need a website lovey though I very much your thinking and sweet reference ((()))). I meet "willing " guys literally every day .
I changed my phone number so many times( and so not that beautiful ) .... I just have to get away :(. I never feel safe and honestly I'm not beautiful.... but I'm very scared
Maybe it comes down to " DADDY ISSUES " . My Dad was ( and remains) horribly unsupportive , backstabbing, threatening , cruel manipulative and will literally throw any family member away to control their money .
I look at men as potential murderers who would kill me to inherit what I worked so hard for .
The few relationships I've had ( been alone far longer) were superficial and sex based - and over after the honeymoon lust-phase started its inevitable decline .
I've imagined for a few years that after my parents pass perhaps I could find a tall hot Swede or Nordic type expert sailor and cruise the world with him and raise a few babies . But I also realized I'd live in terror that he'd throw me overboard after an argument to inherit my money and have silence . Every man I know is unfeeling and very dangerous at least at times . They may regret it but you'll still be dead .
I don't remember when i was on the date last time. With so many apps and options now, it sometimes feels like you'd stumble upon something with Ashley Madison https://ashley-madison.pissedconsumer.com/review.html type chaos instead of genuine connection. The authenticity you're all striving for here is refreshing. It's good to remind ourselves that communication and honesty matter more than fancy profiles. Keep the posts coming -- this vibe of sharing real experiences is really helpful.
