Why other people feel my weightloss is their business!

Marny B.
on 10/19/12 6:04 am - Canada

Today I was in my classroom when the cleaning lady came in to empty the gargabe can. There were some candy wrappers thrown bysome of the students on the ground by the can, and she asked me if the wrappers were mine. I sat there racking my brain as to why she would assume or even want to know that information. Then she followed the question with the following statement...

"Because you know...you shouldn't be eating candy. You look so much better now than you did before. Don't mess it up. "

I was gobsmacked! Why would she feel that my weightloss was her business?? I had to restrain myself from smacking her. I am sure she saw how pissed I was, because then she stammered a bunch of stuff I couldn't make out. I informed her that my body was absolutely none of her business and that she should feel no responsibility for what I choose to eat.

The nerve! I can handle myself just fine with people like that, and I am sure she got the message by my words and my death glare. I am just absolutley shocked that she would have the gall to feel that that was an acceptable comment to someone who you barely know. She needs to in stall a filter between her brain and her mouth.

Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010

ToNewBeginnings
on 10/19/12 6:11 am

Good for you for standing up for yourself! and good response too!

msheavyhearted
on 10/19/12 6:34 am - Marathon, ON, Canada

RNY on 02/02/12

I wish I had your gumption. I just manage a weak smile whenever I get those types of comments. I need to grow a backbone or some gonads!

Good for you. I'm sure that lady will think twice before saying something so personal to anyone else.

Want to join the CRAZY TransCanada Challenge?? Just message me. Here's a link to the rules: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/on/4570778/REPOST-The-CRAZY-TransCanada-Challenge-Rules/

ShallowGirl
on 10/19/12 7:09 am - Richmond Hill, Canada

RNY on 06/22/12

I comment on people's smoking !

Everyone knows someone who has gained it all back.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Marny B.
on 10/19/12 7:34 am - Canada

I comment on people's smoking if they are forcing it down my nostrils and smoking where they should not be. In that case, it affects me. I would never scold someone for their free choice. There isn't a person out there that smokes and actually thinks its good for them. It's a habit and a choice. Likewise, You don't need to scold a fat person for making unwise food choices. There isn't a fat person out there that doesn't know junk food equals more fat on the body. Plus, I teach in a class of 15 ten year olds and have just lost 156 pounds. I am sure she didn't really assume that all those wrappers were mine, she just needed an "in". This person is a virtual stranger to me BTW

***reading this over, it sounds very curt, and I don't mean it in that tone. I am still rather flabbergasted by this persons candour. It would just never occur to me to be that candid with someone I do not know so it surprises me when others are.

Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010

happypants
on 10/19/12 7:47 am - Ottawa, Canada

RNY on 07/22/11

Marny its a funny thing but when we where fat people wouldn't have said,

" are they your candy wrappers on the floor? "Because you know...you shouldn't be eating candy or You'll get fatter".

I've notice that since I reached my goal weight people think its OK to comment on what I eat. I was at work one day and had some unsalted pretzels and was dipping them in natural peanut butter. I think I had ten small pretzels in total and a co worker said "are you allowed those on your diet"? I looked right up at her and said....I gave myself permission this morning.

I didn't want to be rude but FFS. People NEVER commented on what I ate for lunch 114 lbs ago and it amazes me that they think its OK to do it now.

I completely know how you feel. Mind boggling isn't it

Ann

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

Surgery July 22, 2011 Starting weight 270 128 lbs lost Today's weight 142 lbs Ann

Marny B.
on 10/19/12 8:24 am - Canada

Weight loss is such an outward change. There's a lot that goes on (or should go on) on the inside, but people for the most part only recognize the changing waistline. For some reason that makes them feel validated in being overly personal. I'm not sure. I guess I struggle with where the sense of ownership over my personal business comes from?? It takes all kinds I guess.

Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010

Arlio1207
on 10/19/12 7:57 am - Belleville , Canada

RNY on 04/04/13

The death glare always works. I call it Cut eye. When you look through tiny slits in your eyes with the expression of, "say one more word....I dare ya". Good for you. Tell her to go a face lift, it could only improve her appearance. Maybe she will back off then. Or if that does not work, slap her , one time !!! LOL It is none of anyones business what you choice to put in your mouth except for your medical team. And I am sure they werent present with her !!!!

Arlene

Referred June 26, 2012, Orientation Nov 7, Nurse Nov 19. Dietician and Psychologist Nov 21, Dietician #2 Jan 4, 2013, Final Nurse Jan 24, Meet surgeon Feb 20th, Pre Surgical class Mar 6th, Dr Glazier March 7, PATTS March 7, Surgery April 4th !!!!!

Marny B.
on 10/19/12 8:50 am - Canada

Not to mention it wasn't even mine FFS! It's a classroom, lots of kids. Kids like candy. Hence more than likely NOT mine, but whatever.

Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010

Kerry F.
on 10/19/12 12:37 pm - Bolton, Canada

RNY on 05/25/11

I love your response Marny! I've had several people offer their opinion & advice as well, though most of them are people who know me quite well so I'm rarely offended or bothered. It's pretty ballsy to say something like that to someone you hardly know. Good for you for speaking up.

Kerry

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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