Whats Up for Wednesday??
Hi All,
My good mood is gone, gone. It's bad enough that my Mom is in the rehab and that her mind is going quickly- but my brother and sister-in-law are making me crazy. My brother is a quadraplegic so he is not much help with "stuff" that needs to get done. His wife (I love her- don't get me wrong) is a controlling person and wants things done "right now"... Of course I am the one that has to do it all. She used to work in the Medi-Cal system (she's retired) so she is going to fill out the applications for my Mom. She gave me a list a mile long of things she needs to verify my Mom's income, assets, etc. My Mom did not keep good records. I'm doing the best I can but I am still working full time at a demanding job and going to see my Mom every other day or more. The drive and the reality is eating me up and now I'm getting pressure and anger and pushing. I think I got everything on the list but I'm not sure about how to get a record of her savings account (which has $100 in it I think). I so understand why families sometimes break up over this stuff. I am feeling so upset by it all- and the anger and sadness are hurting me. I'm the only daughter- my oldest brother is not that smart (hate to say) but he isn't asked to do much. I'm IT! And I can't say anything to my Mom because she knows enough to feel badly about the trouble her fall has caused- as well as her money habits. She wants me with her all the time... I'm trying to stay as centered as possible, but I think it might be impossible. Thanks for listening- once again! Once again I must say- I love it when life is kinda boring!
Julia
My good mood is gone, gone. It's bad enough that my Mom is in the rehab and that her mind is going quickly- but my brother and sister-in-law are making me crazy. My brother is a quadraplegic so he is not much help with "stuff" that needs to get done. His wife (I love her- don't get me wrong) is a controlling person and wants things done "right now"... Of course I am the one that has to do it all. She used to work in the Medi-Cal system (she's retired) so she is going to fill out the applications for my Mom. She gave me a list a mile long of things she needs to verify my Mom's income, assets, etc. My Mom did not keep good records. I'm doing the best I can but I am still working full time at a demanding job and going to see my Mom every other day or more. The drive and the reality is eating me up and now I'm getting pressure and anger and pushing. I think I got everything on the list but I'm not sure about how to get a record of her savings account (which has $100 in it I think). I so understand why families sometimes break up over this stuff. I am feeling so upset by it all- and the anger and sadness are hurting me. I'm the only daughter- my oldest brother is not that smart (hate to say) but he isn't asked to do much. I'm IT! And I can't say anything to my Mom because she knows enough to feel badly about the trouble her fall has caused- as well as her money habits. She wants me with her all the time... I'm trying to stay as centered as possible, but I think it might be impossible. Thanks for listening- once again! Once again I must say- I love it when life is kinda boring!
Julia
julia...sweetheart....c'mere....lemme hug you- you are the reason-this post i mean-that i want to go into social work and work with caregivers--this is EXACTLY what i am talkin about---
your sil in her way is helping-she just doesnt have a clue about the buttons she is pushing!!!!she was trained to be on the other side!!!!!
about the savings acct---is ANYONE on the acct with your mother? if NOT--it will be difficult to get the info from the bank......does your mother have an atm card with it? do you know the pin number-you could do an acct balance at an atm--? do you have power of attorney? if so you can get the info at the bank by presentin them with the ppr showing POA....worst case- list "approx $100 in savings at XXX bank"
please try to take a minute or two for julia.......i loves ya sista!!!! i know that doesn't take away the stress......
your sil in her way is helping-she just doesnt have a clue about the buttons she is pushing!!!!she was trained to be on the other side!!!!!
about the savings acct---is ANYONE on the acct with your mother? if NOT--it will be difficult to get the info from the bank......does your mother have an atm card with it? do you know the pin number-you could do an acct balance at an atm--? do you have power of attorney? if so you can get the info at the bank by presentin them with the ppr showing POA....worst case- list "approx $100 in savings at XXX bank"
please try to take a minute or two for julia.......i loves ya sista!!!! i know that doesn't take away the stress......
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White
Oh Julie, so sorry for all you are going through, all of it on your shoulders. Is the social worker at the nursing home helpful? Is there a senior care specialist in the area that your mom's "family" to hire to do the work and make the assessments needed to fast track to medicaid? I know that without the women we hired the process would have been insane. We allowed her access to information and she took it from there. Prayers for you deep within my heart.
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Dear Julia,
I'm so sorry that life is overwhelming for you right now. You have so much on your plate. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Even though it is difficult to think of our own needs during these times in life please take care of yourself. I hope you can feel my hugs around you. Love to you, Mag
I'm so sorry that life is overwhelming for you right now. You have so much on your plate. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Even though it is difficult to think of our own needs during these times in life please take care of yourself. I hope you can feel my hugs around you. Love to you, Mag
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