Excuses, Excuses. The neverending story

 I posted this on my blog but I need some encouragement - if there is any to be had.
 It's been 6 weeks since my surgery. And I have not really been losing any weight.  I lost 12 lbs in my pre-op diet and 10 lbs the first week after surgery, then 3 lbs the week after that. since week 3 I have not lost anything., in fact I have gained a pound. I know what it is. I suppose I could be eating better, I've been allowing sugar in my diet, not alot but more than I should. Also I have not been to the gym. My struggle has never been overeating but being lazy. I feared that the surgery wouldn't help with my problems and it seems I am right. Even though the one person I live with is sleeved also and doing great, I am still not able to find time to exercise and live disciplined. I went to join Kung Fu so I can learn discipline in my life while getting exercise and learning lifelong skills but it costs almost two hundred dollars a month. I had downloaded some bellydancing dvds but I have yet to really begin them. I have a free gym I was going to go to before I get ready for work but it opens at 7:00 am, the time I need to be home getting ready. I would go after work but after my almost hour long drive home from work, I just wanna be home besides I'm usually hungry. Excuses after excuses. That's all I have. And I HATE them. I hate it when people give empty excuses why they don't do things, but thats exactly what I do. and I have done it for years if not all my life. Why can't I just do it?!? Why do I always have the same struggles over and over again. Why do I allow myself to be lazy when I hate it? And if I don't get it into gear soon, I will be one of the few (if any) who has failed after getting VSG. 

Hi! 

Maybe I can help you with one of your excuses... I see you're in NC... You are SO LUCKY
!!! I bet your weather is nice, and not snowy there.  Can't you walk outside in the morning?  Instead of the gym, you could just walk?  A 30 minute walk is so much better for you than just doing nothing!!!  I am so jealous that you can be outside year round :(  Here in the frigid north, I usually limit my outside walking/ to April - October...  You should DEFINITELY take advantage of your nice weather!  Do it for those of us who can't :)

Sounds like you know exactly what you are doing.  Does your program have a Psychologist on staff?  You may want to talk to them about self sabotage and why you are doing it.  I can say that I didn't exactly want to start my exercise program, but once I did I felt better.  I did it on my lunch hour at work.  Find the time that works best for you and just do it. Surgery doesn't fix our issues, it simply gives us a tool to work with.  Like any tool, if you don't use it properly, you won't get out of it what you are expecting.  Wishing you the best of luck working through this.

 What is tyour diet like?  If you are following the 400-600 calorie diet, you should be losing.  Are you eating only protein and limiting Carbs and Fat that will help with both feeling hungry and losing.

Are you going to any support groups?  Everyone there has been where you are, and has gotten through it.  There is a lot of free education and tools - not to mention support - that you can gain from just listening to people who are where you have been. 

A couple of things to keep in mind.  First, the sleeve is just a tool.  The sleeve is not going to magically make you lose weight.  The sleeve helps you feel full faster, but you still have to do the work - Diet and Exercise.  You can't just eat whatever whenever and expect to lose.  Even with a malabsorptive process, this is still the case.

Second, You know what you are doing.  You know you are making excuses for yourself.  You are the only person who can make the changes you need to do.  You went through a surgery to change, so obviously you want to do this.  Stop convincing yourself that you are going to fail, and convince yourself to succeed.

You can do this.  Just stop the excuse making and self defeating attitude and DO IT.  Follow your surgeons diet reccomendations, Exercise, and get the support you need.

Well I haven't been through the surgery yet, but I do know that I am one of the excuse queens too.  The only person who can help you is YOU!!  You really have to want it and no amount of pushing and prodding from anyone else is going to make you want it any more.  If you hate excuses then you have to quit making them.

The motivation you have is feeling better, being healthier and living a longer life.  Is any of this easy?  No, but if it was easy then everyone would do it.  It's real easy to fall back into the same habits, I get that but you will live a lot longer if you make the changes you know you need to and eat the healthy foods you know you need to.

Also, if you aren't going to stick to the lifestyle change why did you have the surgery?

I hate to say this but alot of it is probably not even the amount of exercise your getting in but what your eating.  Honestly, I went to the gym when I first started and would not lose weight because of muscle that I was gaining so I stopped going.  After that, I religiously lost 10 pounds a month until up to December as then I was only about 13 pounds from goal. I think alot of what you have to look at, is what you are eating, how much protein you are getting in and how much water you are getting in.  I bet anything, that if you change your eating habits and get back to plan, even without a lick of exercise, I bet you would start losing.  What are you eating these days? Carbs, proteins, fluids, etc?

 I think I'm getting in most my protein and most of my water. But I haven't been keeping track. Come to think of it that probably has been my problem all along. Perhaps I don't realize how bad I eat. I think I do well with only a small "cheat" a day here and a day there and it probably adds up to more than I realize. That is probably why I've been overweight all my life and can't seem to do anything about it. I would keep track of my food for about a couple weeks, then I get tired of analyzing my food all the time. **Excuse alert** (when I create something by just throwing things together I have to think about how much I put in, How much is a couple pinches, etc.) I am seeing a phsycologist, next appt is Tues. I will definately tell her about this morning's breakdown (original post).

I appreciate y'all's no-nonsense accountablility.

Tracking is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, particularly in the beginning.  I started tracking (trying out different programs) a few weeks before surgery and Oh, was it ever an eye-opener!

First, you need to make sure your getting your protein in.  Make a deal with yourself that nothing non-protein goes into your mouth until your protein goal for the day is met.

Give yourself a calorie budget and stick to it.  Treat it like your checkbook - when the calories are spent, you're done for the day.  Plan any "treats" as part of your daily budget.

Drink your water!  It really does make a difference.

Exercise has never been anything I've enjoyed, and that's the one thing I'll make excuses over until the cows come home.  Early out, I exercised at home - Wii Fit and the Gazelle machine.  When I decided I needed more intensity, I found a gym that was close, that had extended hours, and had all the equipment I might want to use.  I know that I can get there, do 20 minutes of cardio, and be home in 30 minutes.  In other words, no excuses left. 

 I manage my process by the numbers.  It helps me a lot.  I can control what I can measure.  I log everything I eat (even the cheats) in my food diary.  Then I can see where the calories, carbs, etc come from.

I love to cook.  I especially love Pasta.  For me, even though I can't have it I still make it.  I make it for other people.  I made an awesome deep fried chocolate-coconut ravioli the other day for someone as a desert.  I am having a housewarming party in a few weeks and planning all sorts of great appetizers - none of which I can have.  I don't feel its either trmpting or torturing myself, I get to enjoy the food vicariously.

The other tool I use a lot of is nutritindata.self.com's recipe analyzer.  When I plan cooking i put in the original recipe and analyze its nutrition content then tweak it to remove as many fatsa and carns as I can.  I really love italian sausages.  Using this tool, i figured a way to make sweet italian sausages with chicken breast that are really healthy and fit into my diet plan.  A 3 oz serving of one of my sausage patties has 107 calories and 19 g of protein.  

For me, I wouldn't be having the success I am having if I didn't manage the numbers.  Be careful of "Lean" prepared meals in the supermarket.  These are usually intended for the soccer mom who is trying to lose 10 lbs, not the Bariatric patient who needs to loose 200.  The nutrition content of those meals is usually WAY outside of hat we need them to be.

On the subject of cheats - Yes I do indulge in something every now and then.  The trick is to not let it become a sliding behavior.  For example, when I eat out I may go to outback.  I order their Joey Grilled Chicken Breast (147 calories, 31 g of protein).  At dinner I may have one bite of the wheat rolls they serve with a little butter.  I don't have the whole roll like I used to.  If I go to Red Robin I will order the Boca Vegan pattie (139 cal, 27 g of protein) I may eat a steak fry off of my partners plate).  I use the cheats to just satisfy the desire for a taste.  The trick is to be aware of the temptation to say, "One didn't hurt, so I'll have another" or "I will just eat this basket of fries today and go back on my diet tomorrow".  If you have those thoughts, JUST STOP.  That pattern drops you back into old habits.

Hope this helps some.  The sleev is one tool.  The tracking is another.  They are both VERY important.

Hi Mrs. B- search 3 week stall- it happens to almost all of us.  Don't let yourself fall into a self destructive rut over it.  I am not a morning person, and it is not realistic for me to think I would ever exercise in the morning.  Try a walk after work.  Use your gym on days off, you may decide you like it.  You may prefer to do DVDs after work.  Just find what works for you and commit to doing it 4 or 5 times a week.  If I can do it, you sure can!  Stop getting down on yourself and step away from the sugar.  It can be great to do this with a spouse, but make sure you don't base your success on his numbers.  We all do this in our own way, and comparisons aren't good for any of us.  Good luck!