One year surgerivsary - as copied from my blog - with pics!
If you had told me that it was five years ago that I had my weight loss surgery, that might feel right, but to say it's only been a year is like craziness to me. Since May 20, 2011, I have lost 123 pounds. My BMI has gone from 46.2 to 26.3. I'm only about 8 pounds from the category of "normal weight" (would have to be the only "normal" thing about me, like, ever!) A year ago I was wearing a size 24 pants and a 2X shirt. Today I wear an 8 in my work slacks and a 10 in jeans. Shirts, about half are a Medium and half are a Small and every time I put one on I think "really?". Even my shoe size has shrunk, I was an 11, now I'm a 9.5 to a 10. I have far exceeded my own expectations, I never ever even hoped I could get smaller than a 12.
And how did I spend my surgeriversary day today? Johnathan, my two year old and I walked to the park with me wearing shorts and a swim top. I would not have been comfortable doing that for many years, being seen in pubic in shorts or swim anything, so it feels good to not be restricted by my own embarrassment. I even slid down the slide with him a few times with him! I'm thankful to get this weight off while I still have time to do these things while my kids are young.
Something I'm working though myself and getting used to....the roller coaster that is clothing. When I started to gain a lot of weight in my late teens, early twenties, I had a very hard time admitting that I needed to wear a larger size and to make that first step into Lane Bryant. If I got to that point, I figured that was admitting I was going to stay there, so I tried for awhile to squeeze into my old too small for my growing body clothes. Once I finally admitted defeat, it was kinda nice to make friends with the plus sized stores. I could find fashionable clothes that fit and I wasn't embarrassed by the too tight clothing anymore. Heck it was totally expensive, but I was starting to feel like I could at least embrace my size with nice clothing. Well I'm sorta having the backwards affect with wearing regular sized clothes. It was several months before I stopped looking over my shoulder in Kohls when I was walking in the regular sizes figuring a store associate was going to tap me on the shoulder and point me back to the "Woman's" section. I'm not joking, that was a serious anxiety of mine.
Low and behold, I actually did wind up having that type of conversation, only it happened at my local Lane Bryant. The manager, who knows me on a first name basis, as I made my last purchase there, the smallest sized underwear and bras I could get informed me that did I know if I kept loosing I was not going to be able to shop there anymore. (This was awhile ago) She was complimenting me, and I know I gleamed the rest of the day. How awesome to finally get kicked out of Lane Bryant! And seriously, that $*@! is expensive, it was nice to cut up my LB card.
So, when one scolded me for shopping in the regular clothing side of Kohls and I realized I can actually FIT in regular sized (and inexpensive!) clothing, there was no stopping me. If it was cheap and I could wear that size, it was purchased and in my closet like I had to have it or it would be a crime, regardless if it was butt ugly. Now I know that's stupid and wasteful, and Good Will has benefited from it, but I'm just starting to realize that fact, and it was only after I read about another gal who had lost a lot of weight doing the same thing. So I'm slowing down, I have a pretty good wardrobe right now and yes, it is all Old Navy and Kohls clearance. I'm still loosing weight, just more slowly, so I do have a few items on the too small side of my closet but I'm refraining from more purchases (hear me Dave Ramsey?). Or at least I'm trying, but seriously, do you know what kind of great clothing buys you all can get out there?
Another new territory for me that I have (but clearance!) embraced like if I don't it's a crime, is adorable and sexy heels. My poor feet, they probably preferred the excess weight as opposed to the 3 inch stilettos I'm walking around in at times. Oh how I love them! And did you know that DSW will send them to your home with free shipping and they have an awesome 50% going going gone clearance section? My husband has wisely cut me off now, which is good, because when my next shipment arrives I may have to take over some of his space in the walk in closet.
Okay, enough about shopping, on to the ugly, the skin. I know you all are wondering about it. I'm never going to have that flat tummy that doesn't look like I was never morbidly obese or grew three children in there, so what? It's not terrible, there's skin there, and not a lot of fat under it and if a tummy tuck ever stops by my house, that would be fabulous, but I'm not going to drop the kind of money it would take for one. My thighs and my arms are certainly far from beautiful, but I'll live with em. My badge of honor or what not.
Anyways, no regrets about my choice. I try not to have regrets to begin with, you know, because why bother yourself with something if it's in the past and we have yet to build a delorean that can go back in the future and change things? I am blessed and hope I can bring some of my blessings into others lives, whether it be by advice, by example, or by just being more strong and confident enough to voice my opinions and beliefs and be more of the person I think I have been all along.
I have a reward for myself and my family. My ten year wedding anniversary with my wonderful, supportive and patient husband is this September. (Yes, My Love, I will remember that I think of you this way even during football season.) On the day we got married I bawled my eyes out for about half an hour when I saw myself in my size 24 dress, not the way I envisioned my special day for all that time. And I know there are many plus sized brides out there that are perfect and glowed on their wedding day, but I personally was devastated. I was distracted from the real focus of the day, our love and commitment to each other. So this year we are renewing our vows, with a simple ceremony with our family, and some new pictures. I ordered my dress, a simple yet elegant knee length dress in a size 6, and that's my reward. And, of course, I got it for a sensational deal. = )
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Me today - wearing a size 8 dress. |
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Partway through my journey, after loosing about 40 pounds, family vacation last year. |
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Not bragging about this picture - just after surgery. |
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Christmas time 2011. |
God will turn our weakness into strength.
