New - Having issues w/ Family

I am new to this board, but I have been reading your posts.  I am 5’9, just under 300lbs, and though I do not have full blown diabetes or high blood pressure, I do have back pain, tiredness, I pop tums like they are candy, and I have high cholesterol and been confirmed “pre-diabetic".  I have been trying to lose weight for years, and I have lost and gained back over 100lbs in the last 3 years alone.  I know I need help, and I have gotten to the point that I am in therapy for my food issues and I decided to go ahead with WLS.

I have been researching WLS (specifically the sleeve) for some time, and finally started the real in depth research a few months ago.  I found issues with my insurance... a number of pre-op hoops they require but will not pay for, as well as they will only pay 50% up to 10K... meaning I would be out of pocket 15-20K  depending on all the other costs involved. 

SO, I stumbled on Dr. Alvarez in Mexico as an option.  Have been approved and am pulling funds together for my deposit.  I talked to my Mother (who is also obese and has diabetes and High Blood Pressure) who always told me that she supported me unconditionally.  At first she was behind me and willing to go with me... even excited.  Then she had a complete turnaround, and tried to forbid me to go (uh, almost 40 here mom... we are a bit beyond that), told me she would not support me, and would not loan me the funds for the operation.  She was the only one (other than my super supportive hubby) I told, because I thought she would be behind me and supportive.  Well she went and told my cop sister who thinks the only things to come from Mexico are drugs, gangs, and people trying to steal jobs from taxpaying Americans (I love my sister, but our politics are night and day), and she lectured me and acted as if I, her OLDER sister with an advanced degree, did not have the ability to do my due diligence or make a good decision.

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

OK, sorry, had to get that out.

So, I am looking for some feedback.  Patients of Dr. Alvarez, people who went to Mexico for surgery (good and bad experiences), people who had to fight their families and make decisions contrary to them or lose their support, really willing to hear from anybody willing to share their story or chime in with their thoughts.  Thanks everyone.  ~JJ~

I was cash pay and financed mine with CareCredit. I know lots of folks go to Mexico (there's a separate board here for it I believe) and have good results. I considered it, but at the end of the day, I knew I needed the after care and to be accountable on follow ups to my surgeon. You have to do what will work for you. You're 40 years old. You know yourself.

I am planning on having PS in Mexico in November and there is not a single person in my immediate circle of friends and family that is being supportive - all I hear about is how I'm going to regret it, and how I am making a horrible decision, blah blah blah.

Screw them all is my opinion. I'm smart enough to make my decision - and I've made it. I tell my friends it is not open for discussion and that I will not discuss my upcoming surgery with them, and if they want to drop flowers off after the fact, then they are welcome to but that's it.


That being said, it would be nice to have support because I am dying of anxiety from all of this, but I have to do what's right for me and what works. In a perfect world, there would be a perfect doctor who worked next door to my house and had the perfect price and guarantees perfect recoveries. Since that's not happening - you have to balance all of those factors and make the choice thats right for YOU.

I too am going to Mexico.My husband threw a fit at first,he was thinking drugs,murders and such,but after listening to me explain my decision and me reading info from postings on here and Dr.Alvarez website he is ok with it.You are an adult,its your life.Make the most of it and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.I doubt that the real issue with your family is the crime in Mexico,its probably the fact that you will change and they may  not want to accept that.I would check into some medical loans.I am sure you wont regret it.Susan the surgery coordinator can help you find a sleeve sister that is having surgery the same day you are.Mine is scheduled for October 5th.Good luck and take care!

I went to mexico too. Dr. Ramos Kelly did my sleeve and my family freaked when I told them. My dad was totally against it and wanted me to try all of these other options which even when I told him there was no way I could self pay state side he still didn't want me to go. So I finally announced to them that if they weren't going to support me they could shut the hell up. That got them to at least listen to my reasons. See they know that if I don't want to hear them ***** about something I choose I will just cut them off til it's done. It doesn't hurt me because I am fine being on my own but since the rest of my family likes to be all tight knit it drives them nuts. Especially my middle sister.

I sent them the info that was requested, the name of the doctor the hospital, the website, the surgical reviews. Finally my dad decided the only way to make sure I was ok was to go with me. I was fine with that as long as he didn't try to stop me. And he didn't. My dad is pretty cool but he was just worried for my safety.  And he said if I need to go to mexico to have plastics some day he will go with me again just to make sure I'm safe. But other than that they all knew this was my decision.

Mine. It's my life. I have to live with the fat, and the complications, and the pain. So I did what I had to. And it was fine. But even if it hadn't been fine I knew that if I didn't at least try to fix my life I was going to end up a dependant on my family and a cripple. I'd have rather died on the operating table than spend one more moment the way I was.

To date I'm a month and a week out from surgery. I've lost 42lbs. I'm doing well and looking forward to my new life.  I walked 3.6 miles last night and the pain I expected wasn't even half as much as it used to be.

Like Nike says: Just do it!

 I'm 2 months out from a Mexico surgery and I haven't regretted a single moment.  I happened to have chosen Dr. Aceves due to personal connections of multiple people that had great things to say about him.  But with the ability to research using the internet, if there's dirt, you'll find it.

I would not hesitate a moment to recomend Dr. Aceves and Mexico as an option for self-payers.

The New York times did a recent article on the Mexicali medical providers... 
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/28/health/mexicali-lures-american-tourists-with-medical-care.html?_r=2&smid=fb-shar

It's becoming a popular option.  Several of the Mexican doctors have excellent reputations and you can tell they work overtime to make the experience feel good to Americans.

They understand customer service is needed for elective surgeries.

Thanks for that link!  I had not seen that article.  It makes so much sense.  I feel strongly I am going forward with my surgery, and likely will be traveling alone as my husband will have to remain at work and with our kids. 

Thanks to everyone that replied, I really appreciate all your feedback.  I do know my own mind, but with each of us comes the baggage of family in some fashion.  Some more "baggy" than others!  I love them, but I am not doing this for them, I am doing this for me. 

I guess for me, there was just so much dissapointment in my mom.  I have always been so close to her, lived through her alcoholism and recovery (thank goodness), and her addiction transfer to food.  She weighs as much as I do and is 5 inches shorter.  I think there is some fear there that she will no longer have her eating buddy.  She has always felt free to eat around me cause I do not lecture her about it like everyone else has.  She has diabeties though, so maybe I should. 

I hope in some fashion, that she looks at me after the surgery and realizes that she has a chance. 

Thanks again!  ~JJ~

 Show her through your results... lectures have limited success anyway, in my experience. I would have listened then ignored... But seeing someone lose weight may drive her to ask.
Good luck! If you have any questions let me know.