2 wks post op and absolutely terrified

I am on a business trip for work. I have lost 30 lbs in the last month. Just started my puree week and then totally forgot protein powder two days in a row and had to just chew the hell out of protein at restaurants. Then last night 1 am , alone in a hotel room and I got up and went to the vending machine and ate a bag of potato chips and a twix. OMG OMG OMG!!!!! That I can get down without much pain???!!!?? But tonight at dinner I could only have 1 oz of salmon chewed to heck and back?

I am absolutely flippin terrified I am messing this up for myself. My body is on my side but my mind isn't? Help!!! I feel like I need to crawl in a hole and hide from the world.

Terrified just terrified. failure freakin horrifies me. Can't stop crying.

Step away from the vending machines and stop risking your suture line.  Please stick to your plan - we have them for a reason.  The salmon is probably ok - you can mush the heck out of it with a fork, but there is no good coming out of a vending machine!

You gave yourself this gift - now stop sabotaging yourself and get right back on plan!

Knock that behavior off! NOW!

Don't be stupid. You messed up and really risked your health and physical safety. Stick to your plan. It's there for a reason.

Someone else can tell you it'll be alright and that it's okay. That's not me. What you did was risky as hell. I'll praise the heck out of you for staying on plan, though!

Take a deep breath......pull out all your support! do some mediation and get that brain back to reality! You have won this battle! Live it! Breathe it! So what??? you messed up......forgive yourself put it in your past and move on. Vending machines are not in our world anymore. We kicked them out! You didn't fail. You just gave in to something you've worked hard to overcome. It's not the end of the world. Now with all that being said....square your shoulders admit you did a dumb thing and go to the nearest store and buy your protein powder and start again. You will be fine. :) Hang in there. We are your biggest fans on here :)

Stay away from the vending machines never use them there not on your diet.   You can have tune with mayo, scrambled eggs, sf yogurts, low fat cottage cheese,  try imitation crab meat it is very soft and dipped in low fat butter is great.  you need to find things you can keep on you at all times like tune packs with ou****er.   Campbells go soup on the shelve not in a can  there is on Morrocan style chicken with chickpeas that is excellent.  tastes like a spicy sweet stew .  It can be heating in the bag in the microwave something you could take with you not cold item.  has 13g protein and 160 cal for 1 cup.  not to bad.  the highest protein soup i have found yet.  Have you tried a can of  turkey chili has over 20g protein 1 cup and a can of  white chicken chili has over 20g protein per 1 cup  and it has some beans in it and very flavorful.   only letting you know there are options out there and you have to try to be prepared for when time come that there is not things around you can eat.  Maybe always have an emergency backup bag with you at all times in you car or in a bag with you.  just a thought.  Im getting ready to go back to work  and that is what im thinking about because the cafeteria where i work will not have food for me to eat so i will always have to bring my lunch.  We have a subway if i have to later i could get meatballs with sauce and cheese not bread.  only as emergency back up.  Im only 2 weeks out so im limited to what i can eat and my new tummy can handle.  we are all here for you in your time of need hope some of these options help.

jen

Where are you?  There's bound to be a Sam's Club, a vitamin shoppe, a GNC or something close by.  I just got back from almost a week of travel (leaving at 5 days post op) and I was able to find food everywhere in full liquid stage -- there's plenty of soups out there, thinned out oatmeal, chew the heck out of flaky white fishes -- you make a choice to have your stomach chopped out, just like you made a choice to eat potato chips and a twix bar -- yep, what were you thinking?  I'm betting there were better choices in that vending machine -- like peanut butter and crackers that could have been chewed to mush (not saying that's a good choice -- but better than potato chips!).

Frankly, you should be terrified.  The only person who can mess this up for you, and is you.  Take a step back and try to figure out what made you gobble junk like the world was ending.  Were you really that hungry that you couldn't make it until morning?  Was there really no other choice?  What would have happened if you had waited til morning -- or only had the chips or the twix, not both?

It's time to figure that out for yourself and to figure out how to plan for these kinds of situations in the future.You were doing great -- maybe you need to talk to a counselor to help figure out why you are sabotaging your success.

You can do this -- the choice is yours.  We are here rooting for you!

Thank you all!! I needed the tough love. I felt like shaking myself or kicking my own ass. It was totally emotional. Not hunger at all. Definitely need to make a psych appmt. I don't know how to succeed at weight loss, I never have before and have been battling it since I was 14. I am very very good at failing in this area.

But you know what? I am a strong driven person in every other area of my life and need to bring that mindset into this craziness. Good news tonight. I came into the hotel and immediately made a protein shake to sip all evening. AND I went up to the gym, did some very light weight lifting and then swam a little in the pool. THAT is what I need to do at 1am if the vending machine is calling my name. Or get up and get on here and remind myself what I am working toward.  

I think it may be my TOM which I am sure isn't helping. But, I am sooooo grateful for this website. When I am away from home especially it helps to have support so 'close'. Thank you all!!

If you are that terrified,you will put on your big girl panties and get a grip. You need to travel prepared. take everything with you that you need. there are stores everywhere that have protein powders,even grocery stores.  Even if you have to take a taxi to a store,there is no excuse to not be prepared.  Even if you have to order extra protein in the restaurants you eat at and bring it with you in a to go bag that is what you have to do. Not planning is planning to fail.

The reason you can eat junk in unlimited quantities is because they turn to mush as soon as they hit your mouth where digestion begins.  we can eat unlimited quantities of mush. dense protein takes up more space and stays in the sleeve longer and a smaller amount fills the sleeve.

take a deep breath and get a grip. you can do this,you just have to get over being terrified and get determined

GL.

Think of it this way, you are risking rupturing your sutures in your stomach. Do you really want to end up in the hospital with a severe complication for a Twix and Potato Chips? Get back on track and follow your plan. You CAN do it.