How do you break the news to skinny friends/family

My surgery is planned for May and I have been going to classes for about 7 months now. I am having a hard time telling my skinny friends and family for fear of them not understanding. Today I told my BFF's mother and her first words were "what have you ever done to loose weight before". To me it was like, hey go on a diet first. Try something. It hurt. Any suggestions on words to say to these people?

Do you need to say anything to them?  Pre-op, I was super careful about who I shared my upcoming surgery with.  And I really only told people I cared enough about that I didn't want them to find out I'd died during a surgery they didn't know about.  :P  

If someone asked me that, I would reply with, "What a rude question!"  Because it is.  It's none of her business unless you volunteer the information to her.  

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

You're welcome.  It was hard for me to keep my mouth shut, though.. so if it is for you too, I feel your pain.  Since there was always a part of me that wanted to crow from every rooftop that I was getting surgery because I was so excited about it :D

Unfortunately, this kind of reaction is way too common.  People are just not educated about obesity and are way too judgmental.  I have no idea what the right answer is.  My advice is to shut down the criticism right away with something like "I have made this decision with my dr. We both think it the best tool to help me become and stay healthy.  I will be making a lot of changes and I would very much appreciate your support.  Thanks."  

Thank you. I am thinking writing a letter might be the best way.

If you're worried about what to tell your skinny people just start off by first telling them after trying to lose weight with just diet & exercise alone to no avail that your Doctor and yourself decided that surgery is the best option for you, explain that you'll still have to eat healthy & exercise but that you wouldn't have been able to lose a substantial amount of weight alone without the surgery.  If they make rude comments forgetaboutit! their opinion doesn't matter because you're doing this for yourself.  I only told my closest family members & some of them took some time to come around but knowing me & my life-long struggle as they do everyone has been supportive.  Some of my skinny judgmental family members that I didn't tell have actually ended up being kinder than i expected and sending the sweetest cards about recovery & transformations that have just blown my mind.  I'm saving all the kind cards that I get in a decorative box so I can read them over for support on low days. 

I know in everybody's life there will be Debbie Downers the one who says "well that won't work you could gain it all back"  then someone she/he knew would just love to tell you about your cousins cousins wife's sister that had surgery & just never felt right again...poor soul couldn't eat a chicken wing they might say it took her an hour or longer just to get down a few bites of food,all the while none of this story is true of course because the lady that had problems doesn't exist or they're making it up.

If you care about telling them as I don't know how close you are go ahead but tell them in such a strong fierce positive way that they will have no reason to say anything else negative to you.  But really when confronted with someone born with angelic metabolism they might not get it but if they want to get you and care about your choices they will have to school up on the subject & understand.  sorry for my long reply & you're on your way to victory already.  Best of luck to you in dealing with folks you haven't told yet...they may just surprise you & be supportive from the get go & all your worrying will be for naught.  Good Luck & Chin UP!

As GwenMo said, most people don't need to know. 

And no one, other than you (and perhaps your partner) and your chosen health care professionals should be having input into your health care decisions.  So, if you choose to tell people, don't let it turn into you asking for permission. 

It's perfectly feasible to say "On the advice of my team of medical professionals, I am having surgery to correct some metabolic and physiological problems. This will help me become healthier."  If you want to expand, you can add that what the surgery will address is problems with satiety signalling and insulin resistance.  Because, quite honestly, that is what it's about.  This isn't surgery that will bytch-slap you every time you eat ice-cream, or physically restrain you from entering the McDonald's drive-thru, or clamp your jaws shut when a doughnut walks past. It will decrease ghrelin production and improve your portion control through restriction.

I favorite this reply, Fran001 thank you for your wisdom.

This is a great response and I'll definitely be quoting it