4 months out, update and pic

My 4 month mark was May 27, so I missed it by a few days!

The past four months have been amazing. All of the ups and downs. I got a new job that is better paying, more hours, benefits, and GREAT nursing experience. I began to REALLY plan my wedding that's happening in October. And I had my WLS!

I am down 70 lbs from a size 20/22 to a size 12/14 (depending on the brand ;-) ). I have more stamina and energy, and my overall mood has improved greatly. I can feel my confidence growing every day.

I have been having some pains, which were thought maybe gallbladder, maybe eating too fast, maybe narrowing, maybe pancreas. Some have been ruled out but right now I am just monitoring.

I did just break through a "dark time", though. I slipped into the carb abyss that I try to avoid for a good week and a half. My weight loss stopped completely and the cravings were terrible. Luckily, I just managed to get myself back into the groove and lost almost 3 lbs in two days. It did have a silver lining, though. I took a deep, hard look at myself and was able to figure out some things. While we were at the store and I was eating "bad", we decided to get some ice cream. I didn't like the kind he wanted, so I rationalized getting myself a small container of my own...even though I knew that was ridiculous. Then, he realized what I was doing, and decided to put his back. Since I didn't have a partner in crime, I felt compelled to put my own container back. I was SO SO angry for a bit, I wanted to cry. Why?? Over a friggin pint of ice cream?? Then the fact that I was so upset over ice cream made me feel embarrassed and ashamed, and even MORE angry. It was a slap in the face that I needed to take back control of myself, and focus on the fact that I deserve better.

I'm still plugging along, and still grateful for this surgery. I am happy I listened to myself and had it at age 28, as opposed to "trying other things" like others suggested. Why put my health on hold for the sake of others' silly ideas? I am so happy I had this surgery.

Wow...you truly look beautiful! Congratulations and keep up the hard work! It is so worth it!

Autumn

Thank you!  It is definitely worth it.

That's a great ice cream story that I think we can all relate to, or at least I can can. Thanks for sharing it. And congrats on the self awareness. Nice pic!

Yes,  I think I'm going to keep reminding myself about the ice cream when I think I want something I don't need. It was a harsh eye opener!

I'm always amazed by what an emotional process this can be.  It's astounding and challenging in ways that we can never expect.  But you're doing super well and I hope you feel very proud of all that you've accomplished.  And thank you for sharing these moments with us!

As Gwen stated above this is such an emotional process, really more so than anything..

my first thought when I read this was..."welcome to addiction and your ah-ha moment"

this will be a lifetime struggle with bad habits, which will constantly try to reassert itself...

the good news is, it does get easier, the emotions which are so raw for you now, fade, it takes a while and I wouldn't have believed it had someone told me this early out, but, it does fade...do I want to eat crap...of course but it's getting easier and easier to say NAW, I don't want it...try to stay as on point and laser focused as you can b/c weight loss does slow up and you have the stress of a wedding coming up, you may backslide a little there just trying to deal..try to be mindful at that time and stay on point

I'm still pre-op but trying to make healthier choices, and I just discovered frozen yogurt! My absolute favorite is the Oikos coffee flavored! Great sub for ice cream.

You look amazing I cant wait till I'm down 70lbs I'm currently down 40lbs and I'm out a month and a half from my surgery I've been engaged for 4year's now and even went to the bridal store for the first time to try on weeding dresses thinking thatwould motivate me to lose weight but it didn't so next time I go I'm pretty sure it will be a very good experience for me I'm so happy for you you guys on OH give me the motivation to keep going n

You've made great progress, on the scale and in your head too.