Trying to find my new normal

What a crazy start to the New Year! I don't mean crazy in a good way. This June I will be 40. This is what promped me to have VSG and make 40 my best year ever. I started the process last year with the support of my Family. As some of you know I had moved back home to take care of my Mom & Dad. I figured if I can't take care of myself properly how would I ever take care of my parents. I was knocking on 40's door with no signs of high blood pressure, diabetes or any other issues! Surgery came in Oct & everything came VERY easy! Surgery, recovery, getting in a routine & the weight coming off. January came and my father went in the hospital & never came out! Here I am left with my Mom and me! Now its time to find my new normal. This is nothing I could have ever prepared for. I lost my best friend & biggest supporter. Everything that was easy has now became hard. I'm never hungry, I could go without eating and it has become a chore. Have any of you experienced this? I loved to cook & now I hate it! Its an absolute chore to eat. How did you deal? Anything to help??

With my struggles about being said, I'm trying to be positibe and be there for my Mom. I'm trying to get her into a new routine & be positive and be there for her. Next week I return to work a and I know that will be a shock for the system. This week I'm trying to make her feel special! Yesterday, was a trip to the salon (I cut off 12 inches of hair - yes it went to wigs for kids). Today we're getting pedicures. Tomorrow is a trip to Ann Arbor (the U of M museum and one of my Dad's favorite spots).

Next week a new normal will begin, its kind of scary but we got to carry on! Please give me any suggestions with the eating! I don't want it to be a chore!

I have no real suggestions regarding the food other than these:

1) Be kind to yourself and realize this is likely a side effect of EVERYTHING you've gone through in an incredibly short period of time

2) From a practical standpoint, could you throw things in the crockpot that you and mom could eat for a week so you don't have to worry about it every day? Chili? Roast? Buy some prepared foods for yourself - yogurt, hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese - that can be quick fuel so you don't have to think about it so much?

I'm glad you and Mom are doing things together and relishing in some "me" time.  I actually think going back to work will be good for you from a routine standpoint.  It might help you get yourself back to some normalcy.  

Finally, PM me if you want my number - I'm happy to text or chat whenever!!

XOXO,

Steph 

Hi Steph! You're always so sweet with your replies!

I have going back to smoothies in the morning & high protein hot chocolate! Before this happen eating wasn't hard and everything sounded good. I'm sure it will just take time!

I agree, I think going back to work will be good for me too!

As always, thank you!

Hi there - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this.  It sounds like you're having to deal with your own depression/sense of loss/mourning while maintaining the cheerleader facade for your mom.   You're a good daughter -- but let yourself feel those negative feelings.  It doesn't mean you're not being positive, you're just honoring your feelings.  And it will help your mom to honor her own feelings too.  

I don't really have any tips of the eating front except to set a timer and make sure you eat, whether you want to or not.  You have to keep up your energy and give yourself the good nutrition your brain needs to function.  Especially now that you're going back to work.  

Have a good time with your mom the rest of this week and best of luck on finding your "new normal" when you get back to work next week.  

Thanks for the luck, I can sure use some!! I'm sure the eating thing will come back in time. I think part of it is I really enjoyed cooking for my Dad and we all had dinner together every night! I'm sure I'll get back to the cooking too!

I can't even imagine how difficult it is, I too am a caretaker for my parents.. I moved in about 3 years ago.

For now, food wise, would it be feasible for you to get a few trays from a favorite restaurant, (like chicken parm, etc) portion them out and freeze them?  or pick up rotisserie chicken from the deli?  cold cuts, yogurts, cottage cheese.. simple things for now.

Crock pot meals are a great idea too.. things that you don't need to put a lot of thought in to prepare.

Make sure to take care of you and get the protein you need in, setting a timer is a great idea to keep on top of it. 

*Hugs*

Yep, you get it with taking care of your parents. Never was I prepared to lose my Dad, especially after taking care of him and seeing he every day! Part of my heart is gone!

You must have been reading my mind, today I picked up rotisserie chicken! Dinner tonight! I just want it to be easy again! I'll look into some crockpot meals this weekend. Thank you!

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 8 years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through so far in my life. I was so close to her and didn't know what to do when she passed, I basically gave up caring for a few months after she passed. I now have two babies of my own who are 4 & 5, they are part of the reason I am getting the sleeve. I am trying to make myself healthier so I hopefully can spend more time with them and my husband. I'm sure your mom is so grateful she has you there for love and support through this hard time. I'll be praying for you and your mom. 

Thank you for the prayers and kind words. By far this is the hardest thing I have gone thru! My Dad was my best friend! I feel a huge void and I'm not sure how to feel or what to do right now!

Big kuddos and bravo to you for getting the sleeve!! Its the best thing I have ever done for myself!! It will be the best thing you ever do for yourself!

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Just remember that you're still grieving, and that takes different forms for different people.  There is no right and wrong way for you to feel or behave.  Since you don't feel like eating, try to look at food as simply fuel.  If you don't put gas in the car, it won't go anywhere eventually, right?  This is the same.  Find some meals or snacks that you can tolerate and eat them to fuel your body.  I agree with the suggestion of a timer or an alert on your phone to let you know its time to eat.  I wish you and your mom healing and peace.