Significant Others

I have been in a bariatric program for six months on the monitored diet and lost 25 pounds. (Naltrexone really helps) Therapy and hard work also! My husband has not said one word in support of my efforts. I told him today i have lost 25 pounds and "no one can tell" and he did not say anything! Yes i know i was fishing for a complement! Good luck with that!

My husband thinks i am ridiculous to want my stomach sleeved. He thinks i should just keep losing like i am and forget surgery. In the 45 years he has know me he has seen me lose and gain over and over again. I do not want to be on medication forever. I want my stomach fixed like it was before i ruined it with overeating. I want to eat "normally" like a thin person.

I am thankful for this forum! All of the comments and posts here are so very encouraging. I know i will be successful with all of you having my back. Thanks for letting me vent.

Susan

Big Bear CA

HEIGHT 5'3"

HW 230

STARTING WEIGHT 201

CW 172

NOT YET SLEEVED

GW ?

My husband thought the same thing! 90 pounds later...he's a huge fan of the results!! Hopefully yours will come around, too. If not...this is for you, not him. Get healthy and enjoy life!

I hate to break the bad news, but most of us can never eat "normally like a thin person, cause we just can't. We are not normal.

I hope you will be one of those folks who can eat normally, but please don't set your self up for failure before you even get started by thinking you will be.

Instead of fishing for compliments, it might be better off telling him, clearly, what you're looking for from him. I'm sure he hasn't become a mindreader in 45 years. (My partner certainly hasn't after 20.) "Hey, I feel like I'm making great progress with my weight loss, and I'd appreciate a compliment or two from you!"

As for the surgery - thankfully it's your body and your choice. So he doesn't have to be on board. Regardless, as a loving partner, he should be supportive of both your efforts and your decision.

Have you talked with your therapist about this? Is there any chance you and your husband could see a therapist together?

Thank you for the kind words. Yes we have been in counselling together. Unfortunately he has a personality disorder. I keep myself strong, we go to church and i pray for him but at 65 years old he is not going to change. I remarried him knowing how he is and chose to live with him, good days and bad, and yes i am in therapy weekly. He will not go.

I just tried that approach you suggested and he turned it right around saying i never compliment him.

Oh well...

It sounds like you've made your choices - at least you know what you can/can't expect from him.

Perhaps, it might be your husband isn't crazy enough to mention a woman's weight, good or bad. A lot of us learned not to do that, the hard way.

Thanks for your reply however my hubby is very self centered and i have to compliment myself most of the time. I will be my biggest cheerleader.

With a BMI of 30, will your insurance even cover surgery?

It goes by my first weigh in 195 5'2" as my height fluctuates due to my back problems.