Just a vent...no response needed!! Seriously!

Jackie W.
on 5/31/11 2:07 pm
No needs to respond....I just needed a place to vent, type, talk!  And you guys are the ones that have to see &/or read!  I'm sorry!!!

I told my husband of almost 15 yrs tonight....I'm done fighting, if the only way to stop the fighting is to end it...fine!  Well, its over!   I'm sad.  We couldn't come to a compromise.  He doesn't want to change, I don't want to change! I've come out of my shell and this hole I've put myself in.  If I've changed, then I have accepted responsibility for the end of my marriage.  I feel I've been controled and manipulated for the first 12+ yrs of marriage.  I now see that I've GIVEN to everyone but me...now I want stuff for me.  Maybe I'm selfish (so he says), so be it!  He's changed his FB status to "single", so have I!!!! 

We (my mom, sister, nephew, me, son & daughter) did a trip to Disney.  He went to Talledaga Race track in April with my dad....figured he'd have more fun..(he didn't seem to have fun 5 yrs ago when we went to Disney).  Been ALL BAD since.  I mentioned the weather was nice (just like Fla), he got all pissed off!!!  I'm sorry, but I'm done!!!  There is a much deeper story here.  He has never trusted me and has always said (from yr one) that I was doing stuff behind his back and cheating on him!  It took me 45 mins to get home from my work, it took him 30 mins to go that same route.....but I was stopping somewhere after work!!!  Needless to say, he did the route at 3pm, I did it at 5:30pm!!!!!!  Hello, traffic!!!!  I guess I've finally wanted for me now!!

I'm sorry again for taking up a posting space...but I had to vent and I felt there was NO where else I could do it but here!!!!  I know I don't post much, but I Always lurk!!!  Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!!!!  You guys are the best!!!!

I do have to say...this surgery has giving me the confidence to realize "I AM A PERSON!"!!!!!  Before I wasn't (not in my eyes).

There are never any problems, only solutions.  quoted by a dear and special friend!!!

My stats:
Starting weight 234 lbs    Height 5 ft 6 in
Goal in 7 months (127 lbs)
Currently: 120-123 lbs
Tops Small   Bottoms size 2!!!!
UPDATED: 11/11

MacMadame
on 5/31/11 2:25 pm - Northern, CA
Your husband sound like a classic emotional abuser. Good riddance, I say, as you can never win with them.

HW - 225 SW - 191 GW - 132 CW - 122
Visit my blog at Fatty Fights Back      Become a Fan on Facebook!
Starting BMI 40-ish or less? Join the LightWeights

Jackie W.
on 5/31/11 2:33 pm
Thanks Mac!  You made me smile!! 

I didn't see it before, but I see it now!  This past weekend I understood how "beaten" woman return to their abuser.  I felt like that on Sunday!  Its amazing.  The AHA moment. 

Thank you again!!

There are never any problems, only solutions.  quoted by a dear and special friend!!!

My stats:
Starting weight 234 lbs    Height 5 ft 6 in
Goal in 7 months (127 lbs)
Currently: 120-123 lbs
Tops Small   Bottoms size 2!!!!
UPDATED: 11/11

kelly_hope
on 5/31/11 3:02 pm - Marysville, WA
I'm sorry Jackie. No matter how it ends, it is still an ending and I'm sorry you are hurting. My husband and I were both in controlling relationships before our marriage. It is impossible to thrive as a human in that kind of environment.

We are all here for you. WLS is our common bond, caring is what keeps us together.
 KELLY RNY  34yo 5'5" HW 288 SW 274 CW 188 GW 140
           
          


Jackie W.
on 6/1/11 1:41 pm
Thank you so much Kelly!!

You're right, it is impossible to thrive!  He says "I've never denied you". No I admit, he didn't.  He just made me feel I needed to deny myself anything!  Manipulation!  And he is continuing to do it! 

I LOVE the LW Board...no matter what, we all seem to be there for each other!

Thanks again!

There are never any problems, only solutions.  quoted by a dear and special friend!!!

My stats:
Starting weight 234 lbs    Height 5 ft 6 in
Goal in 7 months (127 lbs)
Currently: 120-123 lbs
Tops Small   Bottoms size 2!!!!
UPDATED: 11/11

Price S.
on 5/31/11 8:19 pm - Mills River, NC
We all deserve to shine on our own and if we can't do that with the person in our lives, we need a change.  Easy to say, hard to do. 

I'm swinging you have the power and energy to make what you need to happen, happen.   

    LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat  66 yrs young, 4'11"  hw  220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance

Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board.  the Lightweight Board
      
 

Jackie W.
on 6/1/11 1:44 pm
Thank you Price!!!

He says now he will change.  But supposedly he/we were going to change over the last 3 yrs or so.  No change happened on his part!!  I'm taking this time for ME and our son!  My son is #1, I'm #1.5.....no longer #5 (there is only 3 of us)!

Thanks again!!  Everyones support really helps!! 

There are never any problems, only solutions.  quoted by a dear and special friend!!!

My stats:
Starting weight 234 lbs    Height 5 ft 6 in
Goal in 7 months (127 lbs)
Currently: 120-123 lbs
Tops Small   Bottoms size 2!!!!
UPDATED: 11/11

MajorMom
on 5/31/11 8:22 pm - VA
We got your back, Jackie. Whatever you need to do.

--gina

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
                                 ******GOAL*******

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? 
Join us on the
Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny

Jackie W.
on 6/1/11 1:45 pm
Thanks Gina!!  Maybe now I will be able to get down to meet up with you, as I've been wanting to do for a couple of years now!!!! 

I love the LW Board!  You are the reason I came over here!  Thank you!

There are never any problems, only solutions.  quoted by a dear and special friend!!!

My stats:
Starting weight 234 lbs    Height 5 ft 6 in
Goal in 7 months (127 lbs)
Currently: 120-123 lbs
Tops Small   Bottoms size 2!!!!
UPDATED: 11/11

Stacey N.
on 5/31/11 9:44 pm - Chesapeake, VA
We are here for you anytime (((((HUGS)))))

HW-220 SW 205 4'11"
    
            
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