Finding Happiness is Learning to Accept

We can't change others-we know that.  But it doesn't mean we don't wish we could!  I come from one of those families quick to criticize, VERY slow to compliment.  For example, when she learned how much I had lost (never commented on seeing it) and what I hoped to weigh (what I weighed in high school) my mom's only comment was that she hadn't realized I weighed that much in high school. 

However, these days I choose to be happy.  And I'm working on accepting people for who they are, and appreciating what little they can give. 

The other day my mom and I went shopping and I was walking ahead of her to the restaurant for lunch.  Lo and behold, she said she thought she had lost me.  Turned out she didn't recognize me from behind.  In my new acceptance mode I realized that was her way of saying she did recognize my weight loss- a COMPLIMENT. An NSV!!!!!  Yeah

Just curious--what are you learning to accept in others?
Janet

Yeah for you and your mom! Take those comments as positives.

I still open my mouth and speak to my adult kids before thinking. Maybe it's a Mom thing. I am extremely proud of both my sons but it seems my comments come out a little critical at times...not something I even think to control until it's too late. {sigh}

--g
 

Gina I know what you mean. I do have to bite my tongue with my daughter sometimes.  Unfortunately it does come naturally to me to be critical but I'm working on it!
janet

Good Morning!  Your post hit home with me ....I have an AWESOME family but they are also very quick to critize (in a semi-loving way!).  I find myself doing the same thing to my pre-teen daughter and I'm really trying my best to find a balance and only mention things that are truly important or crucial. (It's hard.....I want her to be perfect!)

Amazingly, my parents have been nothing but supportive of my surgerical journey and the compliments are ever flowing....I think they are just so relieved that I am finally a normal size and healthy. (I was the ONLY one in my family who was overweight....)

Glad you had a nice day with your Mom!!!

I found its an art to learn how to accept a compliment.  Once you know how to accept one, its much easier to give them. 

We all know that those that can't be happy for us or give us positive feedback have other issues they need to resolve - not going to get into that now. Its been discussed many times on this board. 

My Mom also hasn't told me what a great job I've done, she just says "are you still losing weight?".. LOL.. no Mom, put on a few pounds in fact...  she was negative especially in the beginning and every now and then when she gets mad at me she says "I did NOT approve of you having surgery"... That's OK Mom, I didn't ask for your approval...

I've learned, especially over the past 5+ years to be much more accepting of others.  I used to jump down my kids' throats at the littlest things.  Not sure if its because they're older now or I've just mellowed (I think I've mellowed a LOT)... I just don't let some things bother me anymore.  Its good for your mental well being and our soul.  My daughter has just lost a lot of her baby and pre-baby weight - and she looks fabulous.  I tell her often how great she's looking.  Not only does it make her feel good, it helps her motivation to continue working towards her goal.  And its sincere.  We all know what that's about. 

Glad to hear you're working on accepting people for who they are.  Not always easy to do.  And congrats on the NSV compliment!!

My oldest daughter is very jealous of my weight loss.  She's gained about 25 pounds and I feel so bad for her because I know what she's going through.  Yesterday she asked me to Pray for her but not give her advice.  The thing is, I failed at losing weight so I don't have any advice to offer her but I have to watch everything I say about what I eat, going shopping for an outfit, even saying I'm going out to take a walk because she thinks everything is directed at her. 

I am trying to accept that not everyone's happy about me being thin and I need to remember what it felt like to be the heavy one in the group.  I need to remember how depressed and frustrated I got about being heavy.