future former fat chick

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Here it is New Year's Eve and I think back on all the ways God has blessed me in 2006 - too many ways to number.  I had a wonderful holiday season.  I gained a few pounds in December due to all of the holiday festivities, but everyone gains a few in December - that's life.  But, now itis time to get to work losing it and to losing the last few pounds that I want to before starting plastic surgery, hopefully, this summer.   

I am actually kind of excited for the new year.  It's God's way of giving us yet another chance to do things better than before.  I have given some thought to things I want to improve and accomplosh in 2007 and here are a few:

I am very religious and I want to become even more committed to my Christian walk in '07. I want to read at least 6 religious books (I hate reading, so this is a lot for me).

As far as weight in concerned, I would will try my best to lose another 13 or so pounds to get under 150 - that doesn't sound too unreasonable. I can't absolutely commit to losing it because my body is going to do what it wants to do regardless - especially with so much loose skin, but I can commit to try my best to get there and try not to get too upset if I don't. I want to be more committed to Weight Watchers than I am now. I don't track my food like I should and I want to get better about doing that. I want to beat the "night eating" demon once and for all. I also want to lower my carb and fat intake.

I want to continue exercising but I want to work out "smarter" (which doesn't mean "longer") by trying some new things. For example, get one of those exercise balls, maybe try yoga, try weight lifting with barbells or body bars or resistance tubes rather than just hand weights. Try some different types of cardio. I also commit to keeping an exercise journal to track exactly what I'm doing and when.

I will begin RESEARCHING plastic surgery and go in for at least one consultation in 2007. I cannot committ to actually getting anything done right now because of finances, but I can commit to learning as much as I can about it and going in for at least one free consult to get a better idea of what I really need to have done and how much it might cost me.

I want to make at least one or two new friends in my town. This means putting myself out there more and being more social, which frankly, scares the heck out of me. it's easy to be social on the internet, but face-to-face it's another story. In the real world, I am terribly shy and introverted, and when I do actually muster up enough nerve to open my mouth something really stupid flies out. It never fails.

I want to pay off my credit cards. I have been on a repayment plan for the last few years and I am scheduled to finish paying everything off in November 2007. Of course, I will still have student loans out the wazoo, but I'll be paying those off until I die.

I would LOVE to buy a house or at least be seriously house-hunting by the end of '07. I've been renting my place since 1988 - almost 20 years! At this rate, I'm doing nothing but making my landlord rich.

I want to complain less in '07. I complain... alot... about everything... about everyone... constantly.

I commit to finally getting around to updating my messageboard picture in '07 and putting up some "after" pics in my profile. I will also finish transferring all my old blog entries into my new profile.

I also commit to signing more surgery support pages than I did in 2006.

Well, I hope everyone has a blessed '07.  If you don't already know Christ as your Lord and Savior, I urge you to do so!

Hugs, Tracy

I guess this is my "official" 18 month post.  Well, I am down 4 pounds for the month to 158.  Yippeee!!!!  I am glad to be in the 150's - even if it's the high 150's.  My total 18 month weight loss is:

161 pounds down from highest recorded weight (319)
145 pounds down from starting weight (303)
133 pounds down from weight on the day of surgery (291)

God has blessed me tremendously.  I can't even begin to number all the ways that my life has changed for the better - physically, spiritually, emotionally.  I know I whine sometimes about various things, but my life is truly better now than I cold have ever imagined it being thanks to the grace and love of God.

Until next month, Merry Christmas!!!!! 

What am I thankful for?  Well, if I had a thousand tongues and a thousand years, I could not even begin to list all the wonderful blessings God has bestowed on me.  I will list 5:

1. My relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
2. My family - even with all their drama
3. Being in good health - being almost 160 pounds down from my highest weight and almost 145 down since surgery.
4. having a "really" good job.  I complain about it all the time, but it is really a blessing to me.
5. My pet children: Amber (aka "Flutternutter"), Marissa (aka "Swizzlesticks"), Callie (aka "Scallawag"), and Gracie (aka "Q-Tip" who will insist on acting as if she doesn't beling to me!). 

Well, she's kinda back.  She shows up for breakfast but that's about it.  She has decided that she wants to be an "outside cat" and refuses to come back into the house.  Sometimes she's gone for days at a time. It's frustrating because I dislike the idea of cats being outside, especially since it's getting cold.  Oh well, what can I do?  At least I know she's alive and okay. 

My cat, Gracie, ran away three days ago.  I stupidly left the door cracked to take out the trash and she shot out of the house and down the street.  I tried to grab her, but she darted away and I could not catch her.  I've been out looking for three days and nothing.  I live in a urban city, so she could be ANYWHERE.  I never bothered to get her a name tag or anything because all of my cats are house cats and not allowed outside ever.  I's been really cold (in the 30's-40's) and rainy.  It breaks my heart to think of her somewhere alone, starving and freezing.  She is not well socialized and is "TERRIFIED" of people, so there's little chance that she will actually allow a stranger to pick her up and take her in. 

I am bummed beyond description......

This is my monthly post for October.  It is a few days early because I know I will be busy next week and may not get another chance.  Anyway, two more pounds gone forever!  I wish it would go faster, but it is what it is.  Generally, I eat very well through the weekdays according to the Weight Watchers Core Plan.  I do allow myself more flexibility on weekends, though.  Maybe if I didn’t do that, the weight loss would be better, but I am still pleased to be losing at all.  I don’t think I could go week after week counting every bite.  Let’s be honest… that’s pure craziness.  I am willing, however, to be rigorous Monday through Friday and be a bit more relaxed food-wise On Saturdays and Sundays.  I still do not eat sugar, bread, or white pasta and rice at all – regardless of the day.  I do allow myself more sugar free treats on weekends. 

I am still working out five to six days per week and I can really see where my body is tightening up.  I am comfortable in size 12’s.  In fact, I cleaned out my closet last night and bagged up all of my 14’s for Goodwill.  I can’t wait to be bagging up my 12’s!!!  I know it will happen – when it will happen is another question. 

 

 I am doing very well and I am grateful for all God’s wonderful blessings in my life!  I know I complain about the slow weight loss, but at almost 18 months out, I am EXTREMELY blessed to be losing at all.  Many of my fellow May’05 sisters stopped losing altogether months ago.  The fact that I am still losing about 2 pounds per month is “HUGE”.  I plan to keep chugging along losing slowly until I start plastics in the summer.  Hopefully, I’ll be at my pre-plastics goal of 148-150 by then. 

 

I took my sister to Cedar Point amusement park a couple of weeks ago for her birthday.  I had an awesome time and had no problems at all fitting on any of the rides.  The turnstiles were tiny, but I was able to walk straight through them without having to turn sideways or anything!  I saw this woman there with her children who reminded me of my former self.  She was an SMO person and had to sit by herself in the coaster because she took up part of the seat next to her.  The attendant had to come over and help her get the lap bar to lock into place because it could not go down very far due to her size.  After pushing and pushing, he was able to get it to lock.  My heart went out to her because this was happening in front of a “HUGE” crowd of people.  She tried to laugh it off with her kids, but I know she was mortified and wanted to die right there on the spot.  I know how she felt because the same exact thing happened to me the last time I went to an amusement park when I was preop.  The only difference was that with me, the attendant put “ALL” of his weight on that stupid bar to force it down but it would not budge because of my belly.  So, I was ordered off of the ride because of my size.  I, too, laughed it off.  In fact, I pretended to be relieved not to have to ride the coaster.  But inside, I was devastated, humiliated, and it was one more reason for me to despise my own existence.  That was 15 years ago and I vowed never to set foot in another amusement park, and I kept that vow – until two weeks ago.  I was able to walk and walk and walk and walk.  I out-walked my sister, in fact.  It was a blast and I plan to go again next year!  What a difference 18 months makes!  God is good indeed!

 

I am going to run along now.   God bless!

 

303/162/135

 

Okay, I've had time to get over my hissy fit about the new blog system.  My old posts do mean a lot to me because I like to go back and read where I've come from.  To that end, I am taking my time and moving all of my old posts over to the new profile.  I will do a few entries per day, as time allows, and eventually, i will have everything moved over.

I guess change is good right?

I stupidly decided to tranfer my old profile information to the new blog format and guess what???  Thaaat's right, it's GONE.  Over 18 months worth of progress reports, struggles, everything, gone in the blink of an eye.  Thank goodness I keep a back up copy on my computer, but it is in Word format.  There are scores of entries, and I don't really have to the time to cut and paste them all.   This really sucks.

October 2, 2006

 

I weighed myself today and I'm at 164.  That is total of about 4 pounds lost since my one-year anniversary.  Like others, my weight loss has been at a virtual standstill for the past 4 months.  I joined Weight Watchers last month to restore some structure to my eating and to shake things up a bit.  I fell into too much of a routine and was reluctant to branch out and incorporate more complex carbs and low fat dairy into my diet.  Following the core plan, I am eating more fat free dairy like cottage cheese, skim milk as well as good carbs like brown rice, whole wheat tortillas, shredded wheat cereal, etc.  I have my bad days, as do we all, but I've been doing this for about 3 weeks and am pleased with the plan overall.  I now have the tool to make Weight Watchers work, so I feel real good about it.

 

 Exercise is still going strong.  I am able to do more high impact exercises (i.e. jogging intervals with my walking, aerobics that require jumping, etc.).  I have also incorporated some Pilates into my toning routines to strengthen and slim my mid section.  We went hiking the other day and it was great.  The only problem I had was the dang bugs!!!

 

 As far as clothes sizes are concerned, I am basically in size 12 pants, skirts and blazers and size medium tops.  If I don't feel like wearing a body shaper or if the pants are cut small, I will wear a 14.  I want to ultimately get down to a size 6/8.  Shoe sizes range from 8 wide to 9 medium - depending on the style of the shoe.  Wouldn't it be cool to have a shoe size be larger than a pants size?

 

I still have issues with post-op acne.  I have the skin of a 14 year old and I don't mean that in a good way.  Don't know when this will resolve, if ever.  I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and invest in  ProActive. 

 

 I think that's about all for now.  Until next time…

 

 

 

303/164/135

September 1, 2006

 

Not much time to write – weighing in at about 166.  It’s only two pounds, but at least the scale moved, right?

 

303/166/135