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I will be 20 years postop in September! Where have I been? Mostly busy. The last two years obviously have been consumed by the ugliness of the Covid pandemic, I am a nurse and  it has been overwhelming. Still is with dealing with anti vax nonsense and anti maskers.  I have been incredibly fortunate to have come through it healthy and been able to have been vaccinated Early on and to have received my boosters and not have aquired covid up to this point.

Physically, my weight is steady, I have hovered  in the same 10 pounds that I've been in for years on end. I continue to struggle with an auto immune disease that will probably never go away. I am thankful that I am not morbidly obese and dealing with the pain that accompanies this auto immune disease.I have mild kidney and liver failure related to the disease.

I made the not so difficult decision to remove the breast implants that I had done back in 2007, they had been giving me problems since about the first week that they were implanted. I had the implants and the scar capsule surrounding them removed and they were not replaced. As the doctor said it didn't leave him a lot to work with, I have a very streamlined new figure.It is taking some getting used to for sure, and my body image mental load is getting quite the work out. It's been about two months since this surgery and things are improving significantly. I had learned that as well as the mal positioning and capsular contracture scar tissue that the implants that I had were recalled by the FDA and the manufacture due to to an increased risk of anaplastic large cell lymphoma associated with these implants.

Overall I have a sense of a tremendous weight being lifted off of me having them removed.

Being a post gastric bypass patient at this point in my life is probably one of the least important/least interesting  parts of my life,

Part of the reason I haven't posted in so long is that I honestly really don't think about it very often. My eating habits are fairly ingrained into my dear daily life and I don't have to think about them a whole lot.

 

The reason I don't have to think about them a whole lot is because initially the first two years after surgery I thought about them very much. I logged virtually every single bite that I put into my mouth for two years, I looked at the nutritional breakdowns, I've studied what might have been good choices and what might have been better choices and I incorporated that knowledge into my future choices until I felt like it was a reflex action on what to eat daily.

I eat every food group, including an occasional cookie or ice cream. I definitely use moderation. My surgery was clearly very well and properly done, 20 years later I still have significant restriction. (Thank you Dr  Eric Schlesinger)

I feel like I eat like a normal thin person.  exercise... embarrassing to say - much less than I should   Quit the health club in March 2020 when lockdown hit and haven't gone back   Im working on sorting out my best path forward on that.

Very much looking forward to the 2022 OH event in Costa Mesa.  Say hi if you see me.  

I never updated with my 10 year post op note. I was 10 years out on September 25, 2012.  My divorce was final in July, I have been living on my own since last January. Life is busy and over all good.

I gained about 10 pounds and an autoimmune disorder this year that remains undetermined. I'm more concerned about the autoimmune issues than the pounds, but am cleaning up my diet with some suggestions from my Rheumatologist, with an anti-inflammatory diet. It isn't too far from my "normal" diet, less meat and more fish, lots of veggies and fruits and leafy greens. What I SHOULD have been eating all along. I had a lazy year and haven't exercised as much as I should have been which was the main contributor to the weight gain. Quite a bit of joint and muscle pain. Yoga is good, I go as I I can. I joined a gym again after finding one I can afford and actually paid for some sessions with a trainer. It feels GOOD! to get in there and train, even though I certified as a trainer it is good to have someone else work with me and boost me along :) I have no pride about asking for extra help if I need it.  

Working on my hobbies, photography and cooking, and a couple of related Facebook pages.  check it out and "like" them if you are interested. 

www.facebook.com/valeriejeanthomas  for photography

www.facebook.com/valshealthykitchen        healthy cooking ideas and information

LIFE IS A JOURNEY,  RIGHT!

My how time flies. It is hard to believe it is 9 years, and sometimes it feels like forever. My body feels like my own now. and I recognize myself in the mirror. I finally can look in the mirror an see a woman who I think looks good. This year I decided to stop coloring my hair and now it s silvery grey. I thought it would make me look "old" but apparently not so bad. I have been asked out more times since I went grey than I ever did as a brunette. Surprisingly many of the ones asking are quite a bit younger - in their 30's. what in the world??? is that all about?  NO, I have not been accepting.

Now for the bad, I am in the process of a divorce. It has been a long time coming and the reasons are complex. I don't believe it is a gastric bypass casualty. 9 years post op. We have had many issues for many years, even before my wls. I'm not going into all of them out of respect to my husband and my children. Suffice it to say, I will always love my husband, always care about him and I wish him a good life. He is the father to my children and deserves my caring and respect for that alone, if nothing else. and we also have now 4 grandchildren together. We just do not belong together..

So life will be off in another direction. I have never lived alone or on my own before, so that is a little bit scarey and exciting all at the same time.. It will be an opportunity for growth. Having met my husband at 13 and married at 17, well, my dating life was skipped right over so I am starting out like a 15 year old in the dating world where men may have had 20 partners or more in the past so that is quite nerve wracking as well.

I'm still following the same basic diet, though I am a bit more relaxed. I'm doing a lot of yoga for body for exercise and mind relaxation and stress control.

If you ever have any questions feel free to email me.
Val

Saturday September 25th will be my 8 year anniversary post op. WOW.  hard to believe. What is even harder to believe is how long it has been since I have posted. In my earlier post op days I was here all the time. Now, I just don't have time. Life has been busy. I'm still maintaining, I was 134 this morning. I still work out, fairly regularly. I live a more active lifestyle, I eat healthy most of the time.  I still follow basically what I have followed since the first year. Daily - 6oz meat, fish chicken or vegetarian alternative, 3-4 dairy servings a day, 2-3 veggies, 2 or 3 fruits, and 3-4 whole grains. No drinking protein. It puts me at about 1500 - 1700 calories a day, and I aim for 40% carbs, 30% protein and 30% fats, although I havn't tracked on www.fitday.com in quite a long time. I think my diet has evolved a bit, I may eat a bit less protein and a bit more complex carbohydrates. I have not had protein shakes since my immediate post op period except for after plastic surgery. Every bit of research I have done that is actually done with studies  shows that the balance over the long term is key to maintainence. I have never been on a very low carb diet. My tips for long term - 5-6 small meals  a day. Always eat breakfast. No excuses, whether you want to or not. Your body will adjust and learn to like it. It makes your metabolism get going for the day. High fiber, moderate protein, moderate fats, moderate carbs, and physical activity every day.  No excuses. whether you want to or not.  Surgery is not a magic bullet. No matter what surgery you have, it is only a tool.

For those who don't know, I had my surgery on my real 42nd birthday. This year I turn 50. It is nice to say - I am healthier on my 50th than I was on my 30th. 

My surgery is now over 7 years ago. Hard to believe. In the past year I have had no complications related to surgery. My labs still perfect. (better than most non- surgical people according to the Dr. ) I am following the same diet - more or less. My weight remains fairly stable with 5 pound fluctuations up & down depending on the time of the month.

 Funny thing is -  I don't do what the weight loss surgery diva experts tell me I am supposed to do. I haven't used protein shakes since my inital liquid diet - except for a few during illness or recovery from plastic surgery several years ago - because I found they put weight on me.  I never did the super low carb "Atkins" style diet.  I don't buy "sugar free" substitutes for real foods. (ie all the sugar alcohol sweetened candies, cookies, cakes etc) The dietician I saw numerous times before and after surgery emphasized a  balanced and moderate approach with all the food groups represented, including whole grain breads, etc. using portion control. I eat pretty much everything and if I want a dessert at home I make things that are healthier for the most part, but if I am dying for my favorite chocolate chip coconut almond cookies I bake them, save a couple for me and give away the rest. that tends to be 3-4 times a year, instead of my preop weekly cookie baking. and keeping all of them and finishing them. I bake my favorite couple of kinds of Christmas cookies but After Christmas all the leftover Christmas cookies go in the garbage can. I have no shame about the waste. When I go out to eat I order what I want - get a box for what I don't eat and occasionally even get a dessert.

The healthy "naturally" thin people I know don't diet. They seem to eat moderate portions, mostly healthy foods, and they don't deny themselves. Many of them rarely if ever weigh themselves, if the pants get a little tight they cut back on the sweets or chips a little.

My diet still features lean meat, fish and chicken as well as some vegetarian dishes - ie veggie burgers, (at least 6 oz a day, divided over more than 1 meal) 3-4 dairy servings, several veggies, a couple fruits and 3-4 whole grain servings. I still eat 5-6 small meals a day. I still do some sort of physical activity daily. I have learned that physical activity can and should be FUN.

Over the years I have had ups and downs, some struggles, and definately some fears that I would "fail" and sometimes warnings that I would fail if I didn't do certain things like drink protein shakes or if I did ever let sugar pass my lips.

the worst time was about 3 years post op, I had gained back a small amount of weight and freaked out. I decided to see a therapist, to sort out my issues with food, and why I over eat or make poor choices. This was truely one of the best decisions I could have made. Losing weight can break us out of our "comfort zone." 

The more I learn about surgery, post op, weight gains post op, the psychological dynamics of what happens to us,  and our relationships, the reactions of others to us and us to ourselves. I am amazed so many make it through unscathed. The rate of cross addictions, divorces, regains speak to the immense pressure placed on WLS people.

What I have learned is ... I am not so diferent fom other normal weight people as I had thought or maybe been told I am.  I have learned that normal weight people also occasionally eat for emotional reasons. That food is  a part of every culture in celebration, mourning, fellowship, and just maybe that is OK too. Maybe that making it so forbidden, or calling it bad and giving ourselves guilt and shame is where much of the problem may lie. That I need not define my self by an eating disorder, that I have to learn to love my self regardless of the size or shape of my body. (still learning to like my thighs , but that is another story :) 

 I still have a lot of years ahead of me to live, so I can't say how it will all turn out in the end, but, so far - so good.

welcome to all the new members.

It is good to have you in the group. I am hoping to get some discussion going in th emessage boards. so please post. 

here is a topic/ question

 

Stress management is a big issue for everyone these days.  food used to be the "drug of choice"  to deal with lifes dissapointments, frustraions, losses.

What skills ar eyou using now that you did not before. I am going to list a few I have learned and am finding useful.

 

1. I am (trying to ) learn that I do not have to be all things to all people or fix others problems.

this has been a frequent issue for me especially with family. It is freeing to let them sometimes figure out their own way, and better for them too.  It is also better to let them make and live with their mistakes rather than trying to  prevent/ fix it all.

 

2. relation exercises.  Letting go of stress by by Dr Emmet Miller - available on CD,  on amazon. I loaded it onto my Ipod. it has several relaxation exercises, each takes only 20 minutes and i feeel rested aferwards.

 

3. yoga.  whether classes or using a dvd it helps empty the mind of stress and negative thought.

 

4. a grattitude list. I am trying ( when I can) to list in my journal a couple things I am grateful for as often as I can. they can be as simple as the sun was shining today to my gratitude for being able to walk several miles or go up and don my stairs with out gettng winded.

 5 physical exercise. it is a great release. it raises endorphins which are the feel good chemicalsin ou bodies.  it doesnt have to be "exercise"  dance around the living room. ride a bike just for fun.  play ball or frizbee with your kid or dog. roller skate.

I go to the park with my grandkids and go on the swings and slides.  it is fun and freeing.

 

lets see some of YOUR ideas!

 

HUGS to all

Val

Life has been out of control....

the only good thing i have to say is so far I am not gaining weight from it.  in times of extreme stress it is important to remember and apply the principles of controlling emoptional hunger and emotional eating.  stress management.  my stress management tool box is a little light at the moment.  However certain tried and true methods will work with out a lot of need for outside help. EXCERCISE. taking a walk. ride my bike, work in the garden, go to the yoga class whether I feel like it or not.  forget the messy house for a while and light a nice smelling candle, lay on the couch and watch a funny belly laugh movie.  read a great book. go out with friends. My shrink said go ahead and have the piece of chocolate once in a while. and dont beat myself up over it. It seems the beating myself up leads to far more emotional eating and calorie intake than hte original infraction against my diet. Even "normal" poeple occasionally cope with a bite of chocolate.
I am working on improving at journaling my feelings. eventually that may help. Scrapbooking to alleviate some of the stressful feelings. occasionally just telling family I need a break and LETTING someen else take ove rfor a few hours.

please give me feedback! HUGS 

someone emailed me about fears of regain and as I have dealt with that in the past year and gotten it back off I wanted to share my answer I gave on the question on avoiding regain.


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the RNY is a wonderful tool. the regain issue as I posted in my blog and on the message board is not an issue of the tool working well, but how I use it. wehen I was super stressd I ate to console myself and binged inappropriately and put on 15 pounds. I lost it by returning to what I knew was right with the help of my DR and therapist.

I think the whole real key is using FOOD as a tool for health. to maintain a balanced eating habit. all the food groups and focusing on  "is this food going to nourish my body?"  I work hard at reading labels and choosing foods that are the best nutrtional value - ie Kashi go lean cereal is high fiber and high protein, Cheerios pale in comparison on both counts. so I eat Kashi not Cheerios. I compared nutritional value of veggie burgers to a regular burger and the veggie burgers come in far superior in nutritional value. I focus on "superfoods" look on www.sparkpeople.com  and do a search for articles on superfoods - but they would included whole grains, fresh berries, salmon, broccoli, spinach, lean chicken and lean meats, low fat dairy products,  soy beans. my grocery list is consistantly filled with these foods and I do not keep low value foods in my house. no chips, crackers, cookies, etc. unless I buy a very smalll quantity for  a paty or something. If I am dying to have a chip I buy a single serving bag at a gas station or something or 1 really good cookie from a bakery.

super foods and kitchen makeover articles from sparkpeople

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=283

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=307

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=356

daily physical activity of some kind. Park at the back of the lot. take the stairs. walk to the grocery for the 1 gallon of milk. yes I go up & down stairs for 1 item - pre op I saved up my trips to go once a day.  walk, bike, dance, vacuum daily, go to a gym if you can afford it or get a video. just move it. go to the park and play on the equipment with the kids - I go on the swings and slides with my grand kids - yeah Im 48 and I am  old and i still do it anyways and I think the "adults" who might stare are jealous - im having fun and thye are stting on the sideline. Now that ive lost the weight I even fit in the tunnels at the play places with the grandkids! and that is fun as heck! and a lot of exercise crawling through.

no surgery will be successful long term if you don't change your lifestyle and your thinking. you have to face why you got over weight and deal with that and what you need to change to not go back there. I had serious untreated depression for years. that contributed. sexual abuse as a kid that made me want to hide myself and not be sexy. had to work on it and still am working on being ok with being sexy and being looked at and making progress. learning to speak up for my own needs rather than just taking care of everyone else's quietly. 

yes the changes will place a strain on relationships. it is work to grow up the relationship as you grow up and become a self responsible adult and partners may not want to grow with you.  but I think those problems were preexisting before surgery just buried under it all with everything else not dealt with. 

I hope you find som eanswers you need for your decsion - I know I rambled a lot. keep in touch

hugs - Val

Tomorrow is my 6th anniversary of surgery and I always get thoughtful about the changes I have been through as my journey through life continues.

I suppose my post this year is  different than my other ones,  but some things do bear repeating.

Surgery gave me the edge I needed to get to where I am today, but surgery is not   keeping me where I am. Lifestyle changes are doing that. in the end it really does come down to appropriate food intake and exercise, and a tool to help me stay on track with portions. And getting into a healthy place emotionally.

I did learn a hard lesson this year though - that even with my wonderful tool I can mess up - and I did for a while. I had a period of some very extreme stress. A serious illness in the family, and me having to take time out to be a caregiver.  during that time I got out of my workout habit - I felt  I could not leave home for that long and I was too overwhelmed to think of using the knowledge & self discipline to workout at home and do what I knew  needed to be done.  I also fell back into emotional eating big time. I managed to go up 10 pounds in 3 weeks  - even with my exquisite tool intact and funtioning well, saw that on the scale, freaked out, started binging even more and went up even more for  a total of 15 pounds over all to 150 pounds.  When reality of what I was doing hit I nearly had a nervous breakdown over what I had done to myself.  I bought diet pills, (threw them down the toilet when I got home as I was in touch with reality enough to know how really stupid that was)  I tried to do a very restrictive diet. I failed and that freaked me out more. I knew all this was the same roller coaster ride that got me to 260 + before and I had to do something before it got worse.

Time for more intense therapy and hard work. I saw my shrink and told her what was up and she offered tremendous support - and medication to help manage some of the stress - I also hadn't been sleeping ( which in itself contributes to increased stress, and weight gain) and help me get some sleep. It took some doing  and trialing a couple different meds but I got that under control and then had to start dealing with my emotions, coping skills and  issues with food once again.

I have found ( I knew and managed to let myself forget) that exercise is a fabulous stress reducer, especially if you find something you love. I bought a new bike - I hadn't had one since I was a teenager - over 25 years. I found that riding is such a stress reducer - I get out there and hit the trail and I feel like a kid again and the bad stuff sort of blows off of me.
 
I also learned that  no matter how much others NEED me and rely on me I HAVE to take care of myself first at times or I WILL crash and burn and no one will get taken care of.  As Jackie Guerra says in her book Under Construction  -   "put on your own oxygen mask first"

I found that by reducing the stress by taking that time out I reduced my desire to binge. One day I had a particularly rough day I was on the verge of a major binge, and I put on my helmet and went out just around the neighborhood for a while on my bike. It took a little while to clear out my mind, but then I just started enjoying it and just being there and letting everything else go. My urge to binge just left like a big knot unravelling and floating away.  it was a life defining moment. At that moment I learned, believed for the first time wholely and completely,  that I could be in charge of my feelings and choices.

I have talked at length with my therapist about whether one can really truely be free of an eating disorder - if it can be "cured" In the book "How much does your soul weigh?" the author - Dorie McCubbrey says yes.  My therapist said for some people the eating disorder becomes their identity, and they cannot let go of it because they don't know who they are with out it. So one of my focuses  has been on discovering who I am. I decided I refuse to be defined by a disorder.

So I am now back to my eating plan - it is NOT a diet - unbalanced restricitive crazy diets just don't work for long term healh, fitness or stable weight.  5 meals a day - 6 oz of meat, fish , chicken or veggie burgers, 3 servings of dairy, 2-3 veggies - 2 fruits (always a banana every day) and 2-4 high fiber whole grains  a day. plenty of fluids, and daily activity.  I still occasionally have a cookie or some dark chocolate ( I like trader joes dark chocolate covered expresso beans & I can eat just a couple and feel satiated)

I have had some ups & downs and some really cool adventures - see my blog about my summer vacation and, 6 flags,  July 3rd and other adventures.  I am hoing to go to Las vegas in the next month as my birthday present for myself.

this morning I weighed 136, my perfect weight is 135  +/- 5 pounds




This life is a journey and there will always be new things to learn and advntures to have. I hope I can remember daily to celebrate and enjoy the gratitude for the wonderful thing I have been given.

Once again  - Thank you Dr. Schlessinger and Dawn My wonderful therapist who has helped me find so many of my own answers.

summer’s end
Current mood: nostalgic

 

I love summer. I mean I really love it. The hot sunny days. Naps in the hot afternoon with the windows open and the sounds of the neighborhood kids playing and yelling and the sound of someone mowing their grass. The smell of the fresh mown grass and the flowers in my garden. The flowers blooming with bees buzzing lazily around. Birds chirping at 5 am at the feeder and the hummingbirds sipping from their feeder and the flowers on the deck and in the yard.  Running the sprinkler and seeing birds and butterflies from all over the neighborhood start collecting around the spraying water.

wearing shorts, tank tops and flip flops every day. 

 Summer nights when it cools down a little and the lightening bugs are blinking out over the lawn and the kids  chasing them to catch and put in an old mayonaise jar with holes poked in the lid.  Bonfires in the back yard with marshmallows to toast and smores to make.

I love the long seemingly endless days, when it is light when I awaken and doesn't get dark til almost bedtime. No school for the kids, and they are playing out late.

Bike riding and walking in the sunshine.

Although fall is not officially here it is September and it feels like it. It is dark in the morning when I am getting up for work and Friday it was dark when I got off work as well. It is colder, rainey. the nights are definately cold. the flowers are slowing down and soon there will be a frost that will take most if not all of them. The birds will start migrating and every day I wonder if it is the last for the hummingbirds I treasure watching so much.

Time to unpack the sweaters and think about putting away the shorts and flip flops.

I always feel so sad this time of year. A sense of loss. I don't know if it is just the loss of summer or a memory of some other loss from child hood. My father died in the fall when I was 4 so maybe that is part of it. The end of child hood.

I'm hoping for just a little more  "Indian Summer" before it is really over for the year.