Losingmyself

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I didn't update the last 2 weeks so I'll weight until thursday (anni day) to update.  I just want to say though I really would like to drop 4 more lbs.  Just 4 more.  It would help me reach a huge goal.  Thing is I could hit a stall tonight and not drop weight for months or I could drop 2to 4 lbs a night the next couple nights.  Oh well I'm still happier than I've been in a long time.  :)

Roger told me he's afraid I'm becoming anorexic.  One they don't eat.. .I do... two just because I don't eat that much doesn't mean I have an eating problem.  Him and my mother both believe I don't eat enough.  This kind of behavior from my mother and him are what helped me become obese.  My tummy is small and I'm sick of reminding them this.  I need a shirt that reads "respect my pouch!"

Oy!

Sometimes I even inspire myself!

My stall broke!  No longer and plan on never ever being obese again!  I am skin and bones!  You can see them! And I'm just 35lbs from my ultimate goal.  Woot!

Can't believe it's 16 weeks already.  Then again I can't believe I even had this surgery done.  I still wake up somedays and see the old fatter girl that I used to be.  I really wish I had a good pic from last weekend.  Smallest size clothes I've been in since before I had Hunter. Even after the surgery I had 3 weeks ago ... I still love this surgery.  

I've been at a stand still with my weight but I dropped this morning so this makes me happy.  Yay!  No matter if that scale moves the clothes tell me I'm still dropping.  I've developed so much that I had lost with this surgery.  My self-esteem is so much better.  I care a lil bit more what I look like.  I can move and do so much more.  Thank you so much Dr. Wheeler!

I saw the doctor yesterday that wrote my letter to get this surgery done.  First time she's seen me since before the surgery.  She just couldn't get over how much I've lost.  I am just over 30lbs from my goal weight that I want to hit.  Not bad since I wasn't told to expect it before 12 to 18 months out.   Once my weight settles at about a year to a year and a half out then I'll goto a plastic surgery consult.  I'm debating how much to have done.  Depends on what things look like then. 


I'll try to do my 16 week pics and put up the before and after this weekend.  :)

Can't believe it's 15 weeks.  Wow.  Yeah this is a day late.  Weight loss this week-0lbs.  That's right nothing.  Do I care?  Nope.  Am I freaked? Negative.  Stall are normal and happen.  I'm shrinking like mad w/o the scales showing it.  I'm not worried.  I'm doing everything that I've been told to do.  The surgery works so I'm not worried.

The greatest thing is this weekend I get to see the amazing Miss Kendra (Melissa's baby) and family.  Please meet some people I've never met and see people I have before.  Yay.  All this week I've been out and about and it's nice to be able to do stuff w/o my body hurting from all the extra weight.  I saw my family doc for the first time since the surgery and even he was amazed and everyone keeps saying how I look different.  Different is a good thing I hope :)

Well I will try to post an update on monday about Ian.  We have our yearly EEG test with him on monday.  Fun times!  Try driving 2 hrs to childrens with a kid you have to keep from sleeping until after the test.

Someone asked me what do I eat  on average.  While this isn't the best idea since I'm not back to eating everything I'm allowed I figured I'd share with you todays and then maybe the same for the next few days.

B: an Egg (no turkey bacon this time)  (8gm of protein)
S: Popsicle (sf)
L:  Celery (half a stalk) w/ Peanut butter (16 gm)
S: Fudgesicle (sf)  (2 gm)
D: Eggface's Pizza Bites made with my own fresh herbs (30)

56 gram of protein.  Yes that's not enough according to my dr but I'm too full to do a protein shot drink tonight from GNC.  Those on average 25 to 30 grm of protein which would put me at the 86 they like for us to aim for.

My tummy isn't screaming at me as much today.  So I tried Chicken noodle soup broth and so far it seems happy.  This makes me happy.  Sucks to get to the eat anything within the rules and then to be shot back to where you started.  Oh well I've lost over 70 lbs.  Today is week 14 I believe.  So yeah I won't complain much.   Oh I'm 30lbs from my personal goal. :)

Well Thank God my surgeon is proactive but man I am going to make that man rich lol.  After talking to him in his office and excepting to be just sent for test I was rushed over for blood work and surgery.   I was one of 3 emergency surgeries that the surgery ward had to deal with last night.   My dr wanted to keep me over night but the hospital was booked full and I am fine with that.

The results: Scaring, internal hernia, and an ulcer.  I am back on stage 2 of my diet (liquids).  I see my dr in 2 to 3 weeks.  The surgery was to go in and repair a hernia.  These things are somewhat common this far out of the surgery.   But I'm ok just sick at my tummy and very well drugged.

Oh and today I'm 13 weeks out ;)

OMG 11 weeks already?!  Time flies when you are melting!  I had a post-op with my surgeon.  May I just say I love that man so much.  Not only did he do an amazing job but he took me into his care and did something that saved my life.  Thank you DR. Wheeler!

So my follow up was great.  I've lost so much weight.  I've lost more than the weight my one of my kids.  I've gained new methods of dealing with stress.  I no longer look at food as a treat or a desire.  I look at it as something that keeps my body going.  I rode rides at the fair yesterday with Hunter and didn't have to worry about fitting on them.  Hell I fit anywhere now!

My biggest thing is the new attention.  I don't know how to deal with peoples comments because sometimes I don't have the mental image they do.  If you tell me I look good and I act weird you'll know why now. 

either way it's been an amazing journey thus far and I can't wait to continue on it!

Today I am thankful for many things so I am going to list some of them.

I am thankful for:

• My wonderful children.
• The ability to travel so much this summer
• My family who has been so supportive of my surgery
• My surgery for without it I couldn't feel as great as I do today or look so much better than I have in years!
• For my surgeon.  His skills are amazing! Plus at my checkup monday he told me he's never had a light weight patient do as well as I am.
• For my health.  I went from having high bp to having a bp of only 99/80 the other day at the fair after walking around and dealin with idiots ;)
• For my friends.  I got to meet Tallulah last week and she seriously saved my sanity.  Thank you Ami!
• For digital cameras.  Because in my head I'm still the size I was surgery day however 10 weeks later I look like this: http://www.icheckbooks.com/kids/Ceegee_10weeks.jpg  (if you comment on how shitty I look w/o makeup I shall kill!)

I think that's enough for today lol