Losingmyself

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Yay for week 3!  The state of puree/soft foods. I was planning having puree for breakfast but since I had a dentist appt to have some old fillings fixed i figured fluids would be best.  Sometimes after this surgery your body rejects stuff and causes you to puke.  Doing that at the dentist wouldn't be a good idea.  Keep in mind however that my dentist is my dad's cousin.

So at 2:27 I started eating some very pureed refried beans mixed with a lil cheese and taco sauce to make it thinner.  I ate with a baby spoon so I wouldn't over eat and would eat slowly.  An hour pass.  No green spells!  Today my pouch likes refried beans.  I'm glad they are an excellent source of protein which I've not had anything over 5 grams a day since I was in the hospital last week for dehydration. 

Weight loss is still going good.  It slows down a lil but is still a lot faster than the 2 lbs a week standard.  I woke up 2lbs lighter today than yesterday if that gives you an idea.  So that's my update.  :)    

Today I decided to drive for the first time since before my surgery.  I got myself and the kids ready and we went to the library to pick up 2 books I had and return two as well.  We then went and got Roger and took the boys to subway.  I had a water ;).  After we went and got the boys their fav shakes from a local shake shoppe.  After I had Roger drop me off at Kroger so I could get some things for my puree diet that starts tomorrow.

Ok this is where the weird stuff kicked in.  Most of the time as an overweight person people rarely look you in the eye or say hello before you do.  Now since I've lost weight and as Roger says,  I look like a totally different person I experienced more attention than I've had in a long time.  Now this should make me feel good right?  Wrong.  For the first time in my life I wanted to curl up into a lil ball and cry.  I don't like the attention.  It was all from men at that.  People saying hi w/o me looking at them at first.  I don't like it at all.  I even told Roger I want to be the old me again so no one will look at me like that. 


that's all for now...

I lost over 1.6 lbs yesterday so maybe I'm not at that stall after all.  Also the world didn't turn white when I stood this morning which has been par for the course with my dizziness.  Maybe the world is gonna be a better place after all lol.  Going to the green house today I hope the 95 degree weather doesn't get to me too much.  It's only a 15 min drive so it shouldn't be too hard on me and my van has a/c.

I really miss salads.  I ate them like crazy before my surgery.  Salads, refried beans , and boca burgers were all I ate pretty much before my surgery and I lost tons of weight and it's all low fat :P

I'm still dehydrated.  I don't remember if I posted or not but I had to goto the ER the other day.  I have a lil bit more energy it just hits me when I stand up.  It's not as bad.  I'm working on the fluids more than the protein.  This week I get to start purees ( refried beans, apple sauce, and such) but it's not recommended that we do if we are dehydrated so I'm working on getting past that.  Crystal lite has reached the point of making me hate sweet stuff so right now I'm doing better with just plain water.   I'm also at the 2-3 week stall although i did shed .8 of a lb last night but until it's a pound or two I'm saying I'm still on my stall.

So that's it for now.  Energy as long as I'm resting.  Standing up makes me very dizzy.  I was told I should expect to have lil to no energy  until about 6 to 8 weeks post op so I'm ok with that.  It's the dizziness that sucks.

So there you have it folks :)

Wow amazing what 2 weeks can do.  I'm more mobile.  My back only hurts from sleeping in the recliner not in it's usual spot.  My doctor expects that I'll have no problems making goal.  He expects it earlier than a year (hope I don't let him down).  I'm not afraid to be left alone with the kids but I am afraid to drive still.  I'll post my weight loss later.  As I said yesterday the doc office is showing 21lbs gone but that was like 5 days before my surgery and I was on a pre-op diet so I lost weight even during that.  I'm getting at least 10 grams of protein in and working to get it up to 70.  I'm sure once I can start purees next thursday I'll be fine.   I also got the go ahead to got Ian's appt in Cincy and to goto Raleigh next month.  Being that I stop and walk every hour or so. meh.

I'm not regretting this surgery at all.  The day after I did because of the pain but right now...  not at all.

thank you guys for your support.   

According to the doctor's office I've lost 21lbs.  Yay!  they said I am doing amazing.  I past the mental and physical exam.  I see my doctor again in September.   I got the go ahead to drive, swim, and goto NC next month.  I get to start purees next Thursday.  Yay.  Also was told it's ok to take my steri strips off since mine seem to be super glued to me lol.

I am 3 lbs short of losing 20lbs in 2 weeks.  Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my surgery.  It's so hard to wrap my brain around it.  I'm what they call a light weight.  Meaning I had very lil to lose compared to most who have the surgery. 

Post op appt is today.  I doubt it will happen but it would be nice to get the ok to goto puree foods.  Full liquids for a month is gonna suck.

Right now my weight seems to be coming off my face as it's looking skinner.  My tummy as well.  So far not my boobs.  I doubt much will come off there since I've always had big boobs and having average size breast is just a dream.

I was told that around 2 to 3 weeks you start getting and tired and weak.  I mean after all you are eating barely 1/8 of the calories you use to so it makes sense.  All i can say is the last 2 days it's hit me.  I'm so tired.  I nap during the day.  I'd nap more if I could but I need to be active.  The risk of blood clots is still really high until about 6 weeks post-op.  Can someone fast forward me to that moment?  Please!

They also say this surgery will either break a failing marriage or end it once and for all.  Last week when I was in pain I told Roger this marriage wouldn't last 6 more months.  He agreed that he knew this would end our marriage.  I'm afraid to place bets on which will happen.