Aagii

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I was just over 1500 cals... whew!  THought I blew it with the protien bars.  I was on the run and got so ravishingly hungrey and I didn't want just non-nutrient rich something something...so I downed protien bars.  Then I was at my sistas house and ate about an oz of meatloaf...knowing it is fairly high caloric.  But once I tracked it I felt really encouraged about my choices.  Wow. 
I am feeling great and I am reminding myself that I "am" an athelic now...I buy proper Athletic clothing...shoes are next, ......and I read athelic mags and online info...so on.  It is important to me to do right right ....for the rest of my life.  I have a great desire to help people like myself.  I want to be a personal trainer and life coach and I can't do that if I can't live the talk.
Okay...encouraged to have a good day today.  I need to get in the club and do what Larry gave me though.  Okay that is my committment for today...to do eliptical and Kok Sool Wan tonight.  Whew.... but I am loving it. 
Okay  have to work now.  LOL  Life is so Good !  I dreamt I won the lottory last night.  What a lovely thought.  Hope Larry and his family are ready to move to L.A.  LOL blessings and cheers!

I went way over my calorie intake on the 6th !!!  What the hell is wrong with me lately.  Okay okay I can't go totally by what the experts say...take what I can and adjust it for me.  I decided to truly eat much less calories during the day and then save more for the evening..but that's not the only problem...eating junk...non nutrient rich foods in the evening....just fillers.  I need much more protien.  Perhaps because of my absorption problem I am physically eating the protien (not nearly enough either) my body isn't aborbing 100% and who knows what percent it is absorbing.  I should go atkins for a while and see how I feel LOL.  Not sure about that..but I think I will increase my protien intake greatly and see how I feel from there.    I won't give up.  I will keep trying. 
Okay...feel good this morning.  Went to work out at 5 am.  Didn't kill myself but got a little over a mile in and did some stretching.  It is just good to be in "that space" where you are focused in a positive way on your health and on your body.  I watched a Bruce Lee special last night and I was just so moved by his dedication and will power.  It inspired me to do better.  After all these years...even beyond the grave, that man still moves people to action.  What a legacy!  OKay okay...have to watch myself than today.  
God please help me...

I got really hungry and shoved two tsp. of peanut butter in my mouth ...it was sooo good.  Wondering why I was so hungry. 

I went over my calorie limit yesterday on the 6th...but not by much so I am not going to beat myself up...what I am going to do is make a small goal like Larry suggested.  Therefore, I am going to make this goal for today.  I am going to eat very little for lunch...perhaps another protien shake..and save most calories for later in the evening and then try more protien like Larry suggested.  Or...eat well durning the day and down a protien shake at home.  NOt sure yet... but I need to decide before lunch. 
I am thinking of making myself an Action Plan also...
IT is a great day today !!!  Bless God

Talked with my Trainer Larry yesterday and it helped me a great deal.  He is very inspiring to me.  Okay so he wants me to stay between 1200 and 1500 calories during my days.  He also wants me to become religious about tracking my food.  I am going to do both...
Okay, here we go than.  No more bullshit.
A

I m already thinking I am not going to do well tonight.  Thinking of my options.  I could go to my moms and tell her to yell at me...plus she never has very much food over there. :) Oooorrrrr I could eat the hell out of some protien so even if I go over a few I will feel more full and not so down on myself.  I checked out my stats and I have not eaten much protien and I have Kok Sool Won tonight which is a work out and I always feel hungry afterwards.  Not sure what to do.  But I am dedicated to sorting it out.
Chat later and let you know how I did. 

I have been "honestly" tracking my foods again.  "Honestly" being the key here.  When I am eating the crap,I realize that it probably isn't great, but I think my mind tricks me into thinking that it isn't that bad...and it really is.  Okay, will power, prayer, knowledge, practice...I keep coming back to these tools and these tools only.  Desire....being the key.  I have a great desire, and therefore I "will be" sucessful !  IF IF IF IF....I employ with that desire, the tools and skills neccessary to ensure it...to preserve it.  I won't give up..no never !  I want to help people so my destiny is to help myself first.  I haven't been praying as much as I should.  I have the basic knowledge...I NEED practice that only my will power can set into motion. 
It is great to know that my Traniner will read these thoughts and read my nutrition tracker...it also will keep me honest. 
Okay...lets not make a set goal for today save only one...that I will do better than I did yesterday.  And if I can keep doing that...I know what wondrous powers will be set into motion. 
Thank you Lord for this opportunity !
Give me stregnth and the power to change my life. 

My new plan involves eating less during the daytime hours and then packing up a bit more for dinner.  I realize it is the opposite of what everyone says, but that just doesn't work for me.  I was just over 1400 cals yesterday.  All good Nutritien Rich stuff though.  Also, I worked my ass off in the gym and then in Kok Sool Won.  I felt like it was a good day.  Going to try very hard for 1300 cals today and this Friday I am going to print off a pack load of 12001300 cal meal plans and then go shopping if I have any money lift lol. 
I do feel a bit better about at least putting forth a stronger effort on my part.  I have also asked my trainer if he can set me up with a proper work out routine on my off days when I am not working with him.   I need something a bit more structured that is somewhat measurable.  Then change it up after a while.  I get bored easily.  You know me. 
Anyway, very excited about it. 
Cheers !
P.S. getting very excited about university.  I love college.  And daydreaming of sunshine and beaches.  Even if I can't afford England this year...I have to get to Cali just to hang out on the beach and do NOTHING but fun in the sun.  Oh and maybe a wee bit of shopping as well.
Bless.

I wanted to start my new committment to a 1200 cal. diet on the 21st. and as you can see it was just over 1500.  Not as bad as I thought it was.  Okay, here is my problem.  Home alone after 6 pm  In front of the tube.  I need to change that senario.  I try to stay active, but sometimes I just need to rest and relax.  I need a game plan that will work for me.  Planned meals would help I think...have to wait for pay day for that to happen. 
Also, once I start college I think that will keep me a bit more busy in the evenings.  Also, a fitness routine in the the evenings might help as well.  I will think, pray and explore these options with my trainer.  I really really want to be sucessful at this.  I will be...I just have to wrap my mind around it and pull my body into it. 
I should pray more about it as well..and seek the help that only God can offer me.
Cheers!

Well I have been floating between 203 and 199 for about three weeks now...maybe a month.  Granted I am in the change of life and my periods have been insane, (three in just one month)...but still, I am scared and frustrated.
So I went back to tracking my food on obesityhelp.com.
I love this website. 
I have come to realize that I eat way too many carbs and not even near enough veggies. 
And I totally need to drink more water once again...
I just need to get tough and stay that way.  My portion control isn't bad, and I am staying under 1200 caleries for the most part...I need to up my work outs and change them around a bit.
I hurt my shoulder and couldn't attend Kok Sol Wan for over a month and that was an amazing work out which I so loved.  I miss it and thus (although my shoulder is still only about 65%) I have decided to go back after the new year.  I am excited. 
I am also getting a membership at the Anytime Fitness club for a year and see how that goes.
Wish me luck yeah?
Blessings to everyone out there.
Aagii