THE WORST BIRTHDAY IN THE WORLD

Aug 03, 2011

WELL FAMILY I GUESS ITS OFFICIAL I CAN TELL THE FUTURE , ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I WAS IN NO RUSH FOR MY BIRTHDAY CAUSE IT WAS GONNA BLOW CHUNKS.  WELL IT STARTED OFF BAD BECAUSE I COULDNT SLEEP SO I WAS UP HALF THE NIGHT STALKING THE BOARDS THATS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME SINCE THIS DAMN SURGEON DECIDED TO PUT ME ON PAUSE SO TO SPEAK.
   WELL MY DAUGHTER WHO IS ONLY 11 YEARS OLD WOKE UP LOOKING FUNNY HER EYE AND MOUTH DIDNT LOOK RIGHT SO I TOOK HER TO THE DR.S WHERE SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BELLS PALSEY, ITS A INFLAMATION OF THE NERVE IN YOUR FACE THAT MAKES YOU RESEMBLE SOMEONE WHO MAY OF HAD A STROKE!!!! SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I FELT HORRIBLE FOR MY BABY AND AFRAID AND SCARED. SHE IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME I LOVE HER MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF. SO I HAVE BEEN SECRETLY CRYING EVER SINCE I FOUND OUT. IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE CURABLE BUT ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE ONLY TIME WILL TELL AND ME AND TIME ARE ALREADY ON THE OUTS BEHIND THIS SURGERY SO I GUESS I NEED TO APOLIGIZE TO TIME CAUSE I NEED HIM TO MOVE HIS BUTT SO MY BABY CAN GET WELL. 
   BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING I JUST REALIZED WHILE TYPING BECAUSE I JUST SIT DOWN AND LET MY FINGERS DO THE WALKING I NEVER KNOW WHAT IM GONNA WRITE.  MY GOD HAS A WAY OF PUTTING THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE.  BECAUSE AS BAD AS I WANT THIS SURGERY IF I HAD TO CHOSE I WOULD PICK MY CHILD HANDS DOWN AS BAD AS I NEED THIS SURGERY ITS NO COMPARISON. I CANT FRONT IM STILL ON HERE ALLDAY BUT ITS LIKE SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT MY BABY THIS IS JUST TO CALM MY MIND NOT LIKE B4 I WAS ADDICTED AND JUST KIDDING MYSELF THAT I WAS PATIENTLY WAITING MY TURN. 
    I WAS SECRETLY JEALOUS OF EVERONE ELSE AND RUSHING FATHER TIME AND NEEDLESS TO SAY HE DONT LIKE THAT SO GOD GOT ME OFFF HIS BACK. BECAUSE NOW ALL I CAN THINK TO MYSELF IS THANK GOD I DIDNT HAVE MY SURGERY I WOULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HEAL AND TOO HELPLESS TO HELP HER. EVEN THOUGH I PROBRABLY WOULD HAVE ENDED UP HURTING MYSELF CAUSE IM SUPER MOM I NEVER LET THEM SEE ME SWEAT. 
  WELL IT JUST GOT WORST FROM THERE ME AND MY MOM GOT INTO IT  BECAUSE SHE SUGGESTED I STILL PARTY LIKE ITS 1999 BECAUSE SHE HAD PURCHASED A CAKE AND DRINKS AND INVITED A FEW FRIENDS OVER. I TOTALLY LOST IT HOW THE HLL CAN I CELEBRATE WITH MY CHILD SICK (SMDH) SOME PEOPLE.  ME AND MY PARTNER GOT INTO IT JUST BECAUSE I GUESS EVERYTHING ELSE WAS MESSED UP IT JUST FELT RIGHT. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY WE ARGUED OR WHAT WAS SAID BUT I GUESS IT WAS BAD WE STILL AINT SPEAKIN . 

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