Some days you need a confessional.

Aug 16, 2014

This week has been hard. I hit another great milestone, 191 pounds - which means I'm no longer obese, simply "overweight." It's a big deal and I'm excited and happy to be here, but this week has been rough.

I've been incredibly tired for about two weeks. It finally occurred to me that this probably was related to my post-WLS body and perhaps I was experiencing some sort of deficiency. It seems iron is the most likely culprit, so I went out and got some iron supplements yesterday (and I'm crossing my fingers that it's the right kind, I knew to look for carbonyl, but at the three stores I went to none said that, but one brand is "elemental" which is how the carbonyl was described, so I'm hoping) and I'm very much hoping it helps give me back some pep. I felt a little better today - placebo effect perhaps?

Lately I've also been battling an unhealthy habit of "popping" things into my mouth. As I'm counting out my 12 almonds for my morning snack, I'll "pop" an extra one into my mouth. As I was spooning my extras into my Loaded Greek yogurt, "pop" a little extra into my mouth. This is a habit I need to break and am being much more conscientious about. 

Finally, today I've been feeling the head hunger badly and feel like my coping has been...not as good as I would have hoped. I'm feeling lonely and bored and anxious to head out for my family vacation, a friend made a thoughtless comment to me - it all added up to head hunger - to a major desire to eat my feelings. I chewed a lot of gum and drank a lot of 4C iced tea today. But then right before getting in bed I also gave in and grabbed some almonds. 5 raw almonds - this was not a binge or anything, but I still gave in. I knew I wasn't physically hunger and I still ate them (but I did log this damned 5 almonds, so at least I'm staying accountable to myself). I won't beat myself up over this for long. I'll take it for what it is - a warning sign that I need to stay vigilant, remind myself of some coping strategies, and move on - back on track. 

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