asiamecca

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I decided everyday I will blog about my thoughts and feelings until my "re-birthday".

Today Im feeling stressed because im trying to get a lot of work done, and people at my job are stressing me the hell out.  I can not wait until Wednesday to be off, and finally get a break from here. Im sure Im moody since I have officially been on liquids for a week. I was fine this am, but it seems like as the clock has struck 12, my tolerance is becoming more and more short. It would be nice if everyone was off today or busy and leave me alone to my work. Stop asking me questions asking me to fax make photocopies, do this do that. Even my friends are calling asking dumb questions. Im going to go home and veg in my bed and watch alot of tv. I think I might take Tylenol pm (around 10-ish) and knock myself out....I dont want to be snapping on my husband, he has been very supportive in a very lax way...

 

Yesterday went extremely well!!!! I started my liquid diet Monday to get those last ten off, amazingly I dropped 6. LOOK AT GOD!!!! I still have until next Friday and my doctor said Im good, im going to possibly drop another 5 anyway....lol. Im all set for the 21st, did the last of my blood work, and a chest xray. Thursday will get my IV FILTER placement. Im getting excited!!! I have thought about this for almost 10 years now, and its finally here....wow. After thousands of dollars in unsucessful diets, quick fixes...Im ready for my new beginings....

Now I just need to loose 10 lbs. by then.....I can do it.....

I have the official date, but not the approval. I need for you guys to lift me up in prayer, that this insurance company calls and give the official approval! Im praying so hard yall!!!!  This is holding up my paper work in HR, and for me to schedule the IV Filter placement.  I have the Case workers name and extension at the insurance company....she never picks up the phone, and I haveleft several voicemails messages (2) for her to call me back......I guess she knows why im calling...I NEED MY APPROVAL. ok ill be patient. Thats all I can do at this point. I pray I hear something very soon. Im getting stressed out about it. today im going to do a mani and pedi after work to relaxe myself.
 

ok so finally my paperwork is submitted to the insurance company last Friday. Lets cross our fingers by Friday I have my approval....the Case manager said it take like a good week before the aprroval. Im thinking I really need to prepare for this surgery. Im going to make a list of all that I will need. FINALLY the  time is coming, Im so ready for this lifestyle change. Im just ready to be a better me to my fullest potential... I feel like this weight has really held me back. Relationships, jobs, it just has effected me in so many ways....Im ready for a new me a rebirth.

ok so my PCP found my chart! PRAISE GOD! So his secretary said he is writing the letter of medical necessity. This is the only thing that my sergeon needs to send off to the insurane company. I will call my PCP back in a few minutes to make sure his ass did what he was supposed to do. I can get real Jersey (I currently been residing in Maryland for the past 9 years) and take it back to the girl I once used to be and she was not as nice trust and believe. But I am being patient! Went over to HR grabbed paper work for Short term disability. I also have a scheduled date....May 19th, but I have not gotten the official approval from my insurance company. I am claiming it in the LORDS name  - that is my sugery date.

Things would have been going so damn smooth, but I didnt loose any weight that my surgeon wanted me to loose. He wanted me to loose 27lbs. I lost damn 5. So the case manager said he wont do the surgery without me losing what he asked. I need to loose 22 lbs. in a month....so I simply told her I hadnt. So she faxed over this diet to me to follow for  month. I know this is like  test. Im craving (today is my first official day ) doing it. basically its no carbs, no fats, no fried, no red meat. No sodas, no juice. no chips no nothing.the highlight of today has been this jello Im forcing down (sugar free).
Plus 3 protien shakes a day. then the week before is the luid diets, so actually its 3 weeks of this, and then liquids. This will be the test of all times....The assistant assured I would definalety take off 20 lbs. and I see why....blah.... 

ok well as of today I have almost all of the reports except the EGD, which I did yesterday. The Endo doc said she personally walks up results to my sergeon. So Im not worried about her. MY PCP...... his ass is so slow I need his letter, and 1 progress note for the last 5 years with my weight. His secretary tells me they cant find the chart. I might have to strangle that man....I was calm, and simply said ...FIND IT. I explained it was the last piece of critical info I needed for my insurance clearance.

I have this boss that we have a love/hate relationship. She is wierd I dont really get her. Sometimes she can be so cool, she act like a bestfriend, not I m not going that far, by a cool girlfriend, then other days I feel like is my worst enemy.
Backround: When she tells me a story, she always starts off by saying "girl it was this girl who was at my daughters school, a band members mom, she had to be about a size of me and you put together...or  girl I was talking to my girlfriend such and such yesterday, girl she is huge , you know one of them big mamajammas, or girl its this girl I saw on FB the other night and in highschool she was HUGE... I mean humungus! Why is it everytime she talks to me or tell me a story, she always talks about a person being so fat? Like we have nothing to talk about other than that. I mean what does that have to do with anything...

So she has a way of lying and saying someone else said something and she is the one who said it...does that make sense? ok for instance, she said this am, June is going to be so busy, and I was talking to the director of the department, and said to him you know its going to be so stressful for me while your out for your sugery, and he responds, WHAT SURGERY? and she says well she should have said something or I guess she was going to tell you she does'nt have a date she has been doing testing, but she will be gone, and she CLAIMS he said isnt it elective sergury? cant she wait then until later like August, and she claims she said she dont know. SHE IS LYING. My director is sweet as pie. TRUE I didn not tell him I was having sugery, but my plan was to do it this week. I have to put in a month in advance leave of absence so I would have to tell him.

To a degree I think she is jealouse of my life. Why I dont fukking know but she acts that way...

My boos at one time was obese, she is still overwieght, but due to stress of her personal life she has lost a lot of  wieght. Every time I turn around she is liek I went to the dr. yesterday I lost another such and such lbs. Look my clothes are falling off me...but girl, you know know Im not doing it healthy im just loosing because of stress. I feel bad keep telling me im getting so small. I just look at her like uhm hum...THere is and underlying method to her madness. ok sorry for venting...

I call my sergeons office today- spoke with Angela my case manager, she finally seemed liek she was doing her job too me. Not to sound mean, by the last time I spoke with her she seemed like she didnt want to be bothered becasue I hadnt had all of my appointments. Today she was very helpful. Im sure she gets very overwhelmed. Plus the weather is breaking and I know everyone wants to get fit and trim, looking extra spectaculer for the summer....I know I do...lol. Anyhow.I am so close to getting all the pre op appts. done! Im so happy. Cardiologist - done. Reports recieved. Pulmonologist - done (have to call to get report faxed). Sleep Study done (report recieved) Psych done ( need report faxed) Gastro (EGD) Appt, next Tuesday - Nutrition class next Tuesday at 12 noon. PCP visit Thursday - Request my letter of Medical Necessity and 5yrs weight history from him.  IM ON MY WAY!

Thank You OH!
 
Yesterday while pocking around on here, I saw the sample of the letter to send to the insurance company.  THANK YOU! I needed that. I also printed out the letter that my PCP needs to submit to the insurance company. My next Goal; TO HAVE ALL OF MY PAPER WORK IN to Dr. Rickfords office BY FRIDAY, APRIL 16th!