Bootsee01

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I feel like I'm slipping back into my old habits. I've even gained 2 lbs. I'm disgusted with myself. It's like I keep testing the waters to see how much I can take. What to do?

So, the weight loss is slowing down, but due to my own fault. I'm probably not eating as healthy as I should, but hell, it's the holidays, right? WRONG!! I soooo know better. It's hard not to fall back into those old habits around this time of the year. I know I don't absorb calories the way I used to, but I'm still just as hard on myself as before. Just like being an alcoholic, druggy, or smoker. An addiction is an addiction is an addiction and it's still the same concept. An alcoholic battles that bottle of whiskey on the shelf and we battle that cheesecake or cookie. Anywho, stay strong out there. It all pays off for sure. My body is BANGIN! I wish I could wish away the loose skin though. Oh Well, I'd rather have some lose skin under my arms and on my thighs than to have 109 lbs. filling it back out. Hope all is well for everyone and Merry Christmas!!

I am exactly 8 months out today. I've lost 102 lbs. I feel FAB. I have gone from a size 2x/3x top to a size XL and a size 22/24 pant to a size 18 misses!! I love it. I also bought a little Danskin outfit from Wal-Mart and both the top and bottoms were size XL. Everyone just raves about how good I look. It feels so good. I never want to be fat again.

For those of you who are in the process, every bit of it SUCKS and you're going to be miserable. However, it pays off. Hang in there.

Today, 9/18/09, was my 6 month appt. with Dr. Lord. They are extremely pleased with my progress. I've lost 88 lbs. and 46.7 % of my excess weight. I feel great. All of my lab work came back with positive levels EXCEPT for my B-12. I must admit, I'm not doing the sublingual B-12 once a week like I should. Pure laziness is all it is. I open the cabinet to take other meds, but never bump that one out of the bottle...shame on me!! I'm back on it though. Ok, so, they thanked me over and over again for standing up at the seminar and sharing my inspiration. If they would've let me have the microphone, I could've gone on all night. I want to shout from the roof tops. For those who are in the process or fresh out of surgery, keep up the hard work, because it pays off. Don't listen to others, because we are the only ones who truly knows what obesity does to our soul. I've been having yard sales every Saturday for the last 3 weekends to try and raise money to buy new clothes. My closets are bare and with having been laid off after surgery, I don't have the means to replenish. I might even buy me an old red scary van, attach a trailer, and become a professional flea marketeer!!! Anyhow, I only have 2 pairs of pants that truly fit me and a few cute shirts. I keep sending my resume out and applying for jobs that are hiring, BUT I never get any calls back even though I have the skills. I'm also waiting on a settlement from the employer who laid me off upon my return from FMLA. I was out for 3 weeks on FMLA, returned, worked for 30 minutes, and was called in and offered a lay off or a demotion. I took the lay off and took my unsigned severance package to an attorney and he took it in a heart beat. I'm going to nail them to the wall. After 2 1/2 yrs. of hard work and my B of a Director got me out the door. Oh well, I hope to see her in court. Ok, so what else is new? Hmmm, oh, I have finished school since my lay off. I only lacked 3 classes before my Business degree, so I sucked it up and finished them in 12 weeks...GO GIRL!! So, all in 1 year, my 2 dreams in life; to be thin and to have my college education, have come true. And, I'm working on the other dream of gambling enough to where a casino will send me free buffets, rooms, and beg me to come stay again  Well, I will end my rattling for now. I hope all is well for each and every one of you. Until next my friends.............

So, today is my 6 months appt. I'm curious to know what my levels of nutrition are and how much weight I've lost all together. Last night I took my mother to my Dr.'s weight loss seminar, encouraging her, and she raised her hand to make sure the Dr. acknowledged my progress. It was nice to stand and give my testimony to everyone who was there with the same fear and concerns I was once there with. I'll keep you posted on my results. Hope all is well with ya'll.

J

So, it's been a while since I've updated on here. I'm down to 250 from 319. I feel great. However, I constantly worry that I'm going to be a failure with this surgery. I keep telling myself the 70 lbs. I've lost is all I'm gonna get out of this. I wouldn't say I eat poorly, but I don't seem to be doing what others on here do. I eat normal meals, just smaller portions. I stay away from lots of carbs. If I eat a sandwich, its on 1 piece of bread rather than 2. I no longer eat white bread, but whole wheat. I'm in love with Splenda and use it with everything from coffee to strawberries. I never thought I would ever give us raw sugar. I do, from time to time, get a hankering for something sweet and I take a few bites. Buttercream icing couldn't be any better. I don't eat the cake part, but I do have licks of the icing. I can't choke down those protein shakes any longer. I just can't do it. I focus on eating all my proteins first when I do eat. I don't cook anything with pasta or rice and if I do then I pick through it. Wait, I take that back, I did make Manicotti one night, and OMG, it was so good. That's protein, right? See, I feel like a failure. It seems like I should be doing more. I was laid off in April, and am finishing up in college, so during the days I spend most of my time on the computer. I still don't have the urge to exercise. I do feel better though. My back doesn't hurt when I stand up for a while. I'm in a size 20 and a 1x/XXL shirt. I've been trying to sell some of my clothes, because money is scarce these days. I hope all of this is making sense, because it's all been on my mind and I'm writing it as it comes to my head. I hope all of you are doing well. Thanks for listening. Until next time.....

I met with my Dr. for my 12 week appt. and I'm down 56lbs. and 30% of my anticipated weight loss. I feel so good. I had a dumping episode yesterday, but it was all my fault. I knew better. I'm finally feeling beautiful again. I can't wait to get through the next 20 lbs. and finally be in uncharted weight range, meaning being a weight that I don't remember ever being. I mean, obviously, I had to be there at some point, but not for long and it's been soooo long ago. To all of you who are having the surgery and/or just had the surgery, hang in there! Lord knows, if I can make it, you can too. Shame on the people who say this is the easy way out. Until next time....

So, I marinated beef ribs, cooked them in the oven slow and low then threw them on the grill with sauce. However, my most favorite part of this meal was the broiled tomatoes. I sliced a tomato in half, baked them til soft, topped them with sprinkles of feta cheese, parmesean cheese, and fresh sliced mozzarella. I then broiled them til all the cheese melted. Delish...please try this out.

Tonight, I'm cooking my favorite meal...medium rare NY strip and a baked potato. I know I can't eat much, but I've missed it so. Wish me luck, I hope all goes well and it's as good as I remember.

Last night I found myself eating out of boredom and it made me ill and feel like my tummy was going to explode. We ate dinner around 4 at the local Mexican joint then I had 3 fresh strawberries around 7 then my husband had a bowl of cereal, so that meant I had some too. It was awful. I was so full and miserable and upset. I could barely roll over. I knew better. Shame on me.