friday

Oct 01, 2010

 ok,,, here it goes.. im on day 9 of my liquid diet. seems to be much easier now,,, my tummys been rumbling... but i can control it.. my favorite broth is still the mushroom onion..i actually crave it. scary huh? and still going to the gym daily.. loving that also... so everythings going ok.. but last night i had a meltdown and cried a bit. but not sure if that was stress, nerves , hormones, or just missing food. hell im sure it could be a total of all of it! then theres a bit of ''what if i dont make it through surgery'' should i write letters or just tell everyone i love them and call it good.. i dont know ,, but one thing i know,, is if i wake up dead i wont know it... so it doesnt really bother me.. but its everyone else that has to deal. but until then its up to me to help get everything under control. and ready to head out on the 6th......then waking up on the 7th,,, only to be put right back to sleep.... when i wake up ill be ready to start my new life!

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