Life After Surgery.....

Sep 10, 2012

10/SEPTEMBER/2012
Well I am three weeks out and surgery went smoothly.....however getting the hang of eating drinking and having a crap ...not so much.  I came home on full fluids and that wasn't going well at all.  I felt sick after all my meals to the point it was making me physically ill.  I soon came to realize that it was all milk and milk products that was causing this including my protein powders and protein drinks.  I had no idea what to do ...my surgeon was on holidays up until today.   So I started eating soft foods ...I know totally off plan.  I went to my support group and spoke to the nurse ...Sandra and the dietitian Lorraine, I explained my issues and how I had spent so much money on all the "right things" and for it to blow up in my face ...all the chewable vitamins milk and protein drinks .  It has been a challenge to say the least.  Sandra and Lorraine told me I am not getting nearly enough protein in and would have to eat every hour until I reached my protein levels ...which left another problem ...when do I drink???? ....That part I had down pat drinking for me even right out of the gate I had no problem ...and while in the hospital probably drank too much ...but I was fine and continued to drink.   So I moped around not sure what to do to get my protein in cause I could never get enough in. It was so upsetting ...I had planned to follow everything I was told and I thought for sure I had pardon me FUCKED IT UP!!!   I was so disappointed in myself ...I almost felt that I couldn't do this but what choice did I have ?  Can't go back so I had to carry on.  But I couldn't see the Forrest for the trees. So Saturday a friend could hear that things were bad and came to visit ...I met her for tea and went through a book that she and another friend went in on as a post -op  gift to me THE COMPLETE WEIGHT- LOSS SURGERY GUIDE AND DIET PROGRAM. It was written by Sue Ekserci RD with Dr. Laz Klein MD. It is a great book and highly recommend it.  I think getting out and clearing my head was just what I needed.  My friend and I went through the book and picked out recipes that I would be able to eat ...she went home and made me a few things for me to try ...bless her.  I went home and tried to figure out what I could eat to get my protein in That wouldn't make me feel sooo full and yucky and that would not give me gas from hell cause that is what the milk and the protein drinks were doing.  The next day I went to the store and picked up some lactose free milk and  some shaved lunch meat.  I set alarms on my phone every two hours to take my vitamins and eat ...so far so good I am reaching my goals and exceeding them in the protein department which I am very happy about.  
Vitamins ....I spent so much money on these chewables and I cant manage them at all ...I gag on how sweet they are (everything tastes  since surgery) so I have been taking Preg-Vit and calcium citrate capsules,probiotics and Vitamin D.  For now that is going to have to do.  I just feel I have wasted sooo much money on everything and I can't use half the shit I have bought and it pisses me off.  
Bathroom issues are just that ...I know that constipation was part of this ...but nothing truly prepares you ....here I am writing this blog post cause I knew it was going to take me time to drink the Restorealax that they claim is tasteless.  I sit here wondering if this is what it is going to be like FOREVER .  Not being able to go to the bathroom everything tasting so different to the point if it doesn't go down then it comes right back up. ...The milk thing I got figured out cause it helps to get the protein in and I am so grateful for that. 
I hate to be a Debbie Downer but I just think it is going to take time to figure out... like how tuna for a can is 30g of protein and I thought that would be an easy way to get my protein in with the least amount of eating ...WRONG I could have about a teaspoon ...about 3 bites and it would hit my pouch like a brick and I couldn't eat for hours (it took me nearly 24h to eat the tuna)   yet shrimp went down great.  I had a pork loin chop on Sunday and had the foomies for an hour and gut wrenching pain.  There is a learning curve for sure and trust me there are things I just wont do twice.
    
Now for the weight loss it isn't impressive ....I started out at 310lbs in the middle of May I am now down to 269lbs 11lbs I lost the first week after surgery followed by another 5lbs the next week ...I weigh in on Wednesdays as a rule but stepped on just to see and noda ....I know it is my 3rd week and I know a stall is bound to happen around this time not to mention Aunt Flow is due this week ....I just thought I would see a more consistent loss. I also know that I wasn't getting in my protein and that is most likely a contributing factor and I just hope once I am on track for a bit that the pounds will come off.  I know that it is impossible not to lose weight if I am following the plan ...this is a hurry up and wait process.  

I felt bad these last few weeks cause I wasn't honest with people about how I was doing and felt judged by all even though people didn't know what exactly was going on ...on OH  everyone says "are you suppose to have that? Is that the stage you are at ? what does your surgeon say?" I felt so alone not sure what to do or say so I told everyone I was FINE. ...and I was far from it and so afraid I was making myself sick by not getting in what I needed and it was my fault and had no clue how to fix it. By the way do you know what fine stands for ??? FUCKED UP , INSECURE, NEUROTIC AND EMOTIONAL and that describes me these last few weeks.   No one said it would be easy and I am here to tell you it is work and you have to take the time to figure it out.  I am feeling better ...tired but better Just wish my husband would go back to work already ...he is driving me crazy...(er).  Thanks to everyone who asked about how I have been doing and all the well wishes are great.  I hope this answers everyones questions as to how I am doing ...I think I just needed time to figure it all out and process it and get a game plan together ...I think I have one now and I am just going to work it.  and hope I don't drop the ball.  Jenn               
                                      

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