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I received a text the other night from my aunt who informed me that she has been approved for WLS and she's having surgery on the 2nd of March! She was here visiting me in December and we talked about WLS.  She obviously could see the physical changes the surgery caused.  Not only that, since we grew up together, she knew that WLS had made a difference inside as well.  She said I inspired her to make the decision.  That was truly a blessing because when I made the decision to do this it was for me and me only.  I had only seem people on TV like Carney Wilson, Al Roper and yes, Star Jones and I wasn't sure if this was really what I wanted.  Some days I'm still not sure, but I will tell you one thing, I'm glad TODAY that I made this decision for my life. 
I am not where I want to be just yet.  Something about being this close to 200 makes me nervous.  My goal is 150, I'm still having issues modifying my behaviors and yes everday of this life is a struggle.  I sorta feel like a recovering addict for a lack of better terms.  I am maintaining, I've hit a dreaded stall and praying everday that I can get back on that workout and protein regimen. Now that I know for sure, that there are people watching my progress I feel an obligation to encourage them not only with my weight loss but my dedication to a lifestyle change.
She say I inspired her, well, she has no clue how she has inspired me to do even better.  To admit that you have a problem they say is the first step.  Not many of us were willing to admit we had a problem, but WLS has allowed me to face my problem of obesity and return to some type of normalcy in my life.  I am having so much fun! I never would have thought WLS would have afforded me the opportunites it has.  And maybe it wasn't WLS that actually created the opportunity but in fact, it was my decision to take a drastic measure in my life to get to this place of self worth.
I encourage you all who have worked so hard at changing your life to keep it up. Enjoy where you are, dont take it for granted, dont compare yourself to anybody else and do the darn thing! I charge you with that today.  Dont get discouraged, its counterproductive.  Take everyday as a learning experience and grow!
I know I've been away for a while but yall know I love yall!!!!

More pics to come!!! 

Hello ALL,

Not that I really need a reason to party, but why not?  I have decided to have a "100lbs loss but so much more gained" party on April 24, 2010.  Yes, you are invited!  I would love to have all my friends who have had WLS to show up and show out.  There are so many people who have no idea the courage and strength it takes to undergo and take this journey. You are all worthy to be celebrated. No, you may have not hit your goal or you may be like me, fell off the workout wagon, but I would still love for you to come celebrate with me....I haven't made lots of plans yet but I can not wait to walk the red carpet. Details to be determined...If you are in the Atlanta area or beyond, make plans to party with me!

Mark your calendars...April 24, 2010...be there or be square..LOL

I'm 175lbs, thats 93lbs from my highest weight and I have 25lbs to get to my goal of 150.  I'm wearing size 10's the first time in my life and I love it...6 months down and a lifetime to live.  This has been one of the best decisions of my life.  I encourge the newbees to hang on tight because the time flies, when you're having fun...LOL, you will literally melt right before your eyes so much so your brain will not be able to convince your eyes that you have lost so much weight.  Honestly, I weigh everday still.  No lie, so for those of you who are not plagued by the overwhelming desire to know that you have lost another pound, God bless you! Unfortunately, truth be told that's not me.  

I am excited about what the scales say and I am excited about the responses I get from people who have not seen me and also those who have witnessed the transition first hand.  Now let me explain to those of you who are getting ready for surgery or just had it....this transition is extremely overwhelming.  Even though I have lost almost 100lbs I can not physically see the difference.  Sad but true.  I feel better and I know I look better in my clothes but when I dont have my clothes on, I can not see a difference in my body at all, despite the bone protusion in my chest area.  All I want to say is to be careful, love yourself thru this thing and dont compare yourselves to anyone else on this planet. If you dont love yourselves where you currently are in your journey, it is going to be hard to love yourself once the transition has taken place.  I stand in the mirror in the morning sometimes and fantasize about how I would look if....if what? I'm from a 20 to a 10, isnt that enough? Well honestly, its not.  I have to dig deep inside and find the beauty within.  I know I have a very compassionate heart and I love others so much without prejudice,so why have I not chosen the same for myself?  I have no idea. 

I am working on loving me, I know I have a pretty face...so many of us do but that's far from my problem.  I want to see myself as so many of those who love me sees me, just one time.  I think if I could see what others saw I wouldnt over obsess about what I "see."  So my prayer for us all is that we get thru this journey with confidence and strength.  We could say all day long how confident we are and how much this journey has changed us but at the end of the day many of us still feel a void.  The diabetes, high blood pressure and many other co-morbidities have all been resolved but what about self image...does this surgery really address that issue in the majority of us?  I'm only six months out so I can only give you my point of view up to this point. Without being negative I just wanted to be honest and advise this surgery is not a quick fix to any of our situations...but with time, I am most confident that there will be some type of breakthrough and I will finally "see" what I have been missing this whole time.....

Be blessed and encouraged yall!

Ok so last night I was preparing to go swimming but realized I had not bought a swimsuit since last year which was a size 18/20.  What was I going to do?  Well, my 16 year old had a two piece from last summer that was a large, do I dare try it?  Yes, what the heck!  OMGGGGG it fit and didnt look bad.  I got an amazing look at what my WLS tool had done for me.  Besides some saggy skin in the thigh and butt area, I didnt look too bad.  In fact, I'd consider wearing a swimsuit in public with no embarrassment.  So that goal has been accomplished, a two piece swimsuit (minus that skirt thing that I was used to) in public.  Although I didnt get a chance to go swimming last night, I am overjoyed that I could have.  What a wow moment for me. 

All I can say again is to be patient and use your tool to the best of your ability. I still have a lot of work to do, I may even be able to do this without any cosmetic surger, well, maybe a lift and augementation for sure.  I thought my body would be way worse, but its not so bad and I'm actually excited....thank you all again for your encouraging words.  I am so glad to be connected to some of the most wonderful women and men in the world..Be blessed!

OMG one of my biggest wow moments this to date happened this morning.  My 16 year old came up to my room and asked if I had a shirt she could wear with her outfit...Did you hear me?  My 16 year old and I are sharing clothes!So not only can we fit the same tops, she thinks my tops are cute enough to wear.  She now treats me like her doll, when I go out she gets me dressed and I absolutely love it.  She's a junior 9 and I'm a misses 10...Cant do juniors yet, not really planning on it but if and when it happens it will be fine with me...Wow, who would have thought in 5 months I would be sharing clothes with my kids.  My 13 year old and 16 year old are almost the same size so nonetheless, thanks Essie for the black leggins, I needed them to wear with a killer outfit..That seems so crazy, I'm sharing clothes with my kids never in the history of motherhood has that happned.  I am so excited....29lbs til my goal weight of 150.  Unbelievable. 

I know sometimes you question if you have done the right thing or not.  The weight seems to be coming off slow but I promise you, it will come off.  Dont stress yourself about someone elses loss.  You dont know what they have had to go thru in order to get there.  I am a witness, I dont go to the gym everyday like I should.  As a matter of fact, I havent been since November.  I'm not condoning this behavior but its the truth.  I would be less than if I lied and say that I am doing exactly everything I should because I'm not.   I pray that my behaviors are activated again because I want to be successful long term...Nonetheless, I feel much better.  I went to the Dr yesterday and for the first time I didnt tell them their scale was lying, aint that something?

Be blessed yall!

Today is one of the happiest days of my life.  One of my goals for post surgery was to have a job that I love to go to everyday.  Well on January 19, 2010 that goal will be met.  I have not complete my book yet but this opportunity will allow me the creativity to do just that.  On the 19th I will be launching ALL(n)1 Premier Staffing.  I have been given, yes I said, given office space on the 19th floor of one of the many high rise building downtown Atlanta, and did I mention it was given to me?  No rent for as long as I need the space...Favor aint fair they say. I bless God for the opportunity that I may not have gotten pre surgery. I know that I deserve this break and the opportunities that WLS has afforded me are now paying off...Wow, who would have ever thought 85lbs would reveal so much.  The confidence is thru the roof and it is my expecation that I will succeed in this industry...Thank you to all that have supported me thru all of these twists and turns...you know you you are! I love you all!  If you are in the Atlanta and need a job...hollar at your girl!  LOL

I would have never thought that 80lbs would make such a big difference in my life.  I've honestly lost way more than weight over the past 4 months.  Unfortunately, I have lost my husband.  We were having issues prior to surgery and needless to say we couldnt get thru the demands of what happens during this transition.  No hard feelings, now on to the next phase of life.  I am overjoyed by the many of things that are going on with me.  I have more confidence than I have ever had.  I know I've been all over the place in the last months but its all coming together.  God has blessed me with such a wonderful support group that I can not go wrong.  God's favor is resting on me and its a wonderful place to be.  Please everybody, be mindful of how you treat people, those things come back.  I have been blessed not to be a person with anger and bitterness.  This weightloss did reveal a lot of hidden pain that I can no longer hide behind.  I have learned what true friendship is all about in this journey.  I wish the weightloss could slow down but as my mom put it, this is what I wanted...did I, really?  The jury is still out on it.  I have been able to maintain my integrity and my humility in this weightloss.  I know that some people have taken advantage of the real reason why this surgery was necessary but I'm glad to report this weightloss has not changed me.  I mean the core of Chana.  Of course my body and my being has changed but my heart has not changed.  My weightloss did not make me, I was made and created as I am long before....I hope that makes sense.  I encourage you all to keep on pushing towards your goals, enjoy this new life.  I have been afforded some things that I would have never imagined but since its here I will embrace it....188 from 268 in a little over 4 months.  I have already started my new year and I'm loving it....stay tuned yall!  Love Ya....

Hey All!  I have been so busy and not had a lot of time to blog.  I never thought I would have not had time for OH.  Nonetheless, all is well with me.  This change is phenominal.  I will post pictures soon, I promise.  I just got a new hairdo so I can't wait to show it off...Everything is going well.  I'm not sure how to slow this weight loss down but I won't complain.  Not real sure if I really want to be at 150lbs anymore but I'm only 41lbs away from that goal...nothing I can do about it now.  I have just about given all the clothes in my closet away.  I literally have 2 pair of jeans, 2 pair of slacks that are too big in the waist and 1 skirt that I can wear.  I'm going shopping today for 12's.....I'm loving it on one hand and still not sure on the other.  I have quite a bit of loose skin and working out at the gym doesnt seem to be helping.  We are our own worst critics though so I'm sure its not that bad...Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and successful on their journey and if I'm not in here any time soon, I wish you all a wonderful Holiday season..

Love Yall!

Pictures are soon to come....

Its been a few weeks since I've been in here, I haven't lost a whole lot of weight but I at least hit my goal...I had a screw up with my scale and the scale at the gym but through all that, I finally made it to 199lbs.  My daughter will be 13 and the last time I weighed 199 was when I got pregnant with her....Wow, I feel like I have made a wonderful mildstone, size 12 clothes and weighing under 200! That's amazing.  I want to encourage all of you who will read this to just keep on keeping on.  There is are no goals that are too big or too small.  Be encouraged!

I am down about 70lbs, its been 3 months and I am exstatic.  Fortunately, the joys of life are calling me and my time in here will come to a hault.  I have so many BIG things going on thanks to the confidence WLS has afforded me.  My 24 hour day care plans are coming along.  The family resource center is forming just fine, so I'm so looking forward to 2010.  The book is kinda creeping along but my photo shoot for the cover will take place next week so maybe that will encouage me.  Not sure if I'm quite ready, but it has to be done.  I start my motivational speaking one week from today and will be speaking every Tuesday until January.  I'm looking forward to the doors this is going to open for me and my family.  What else?  I found out at the gym last week that I have 35 session already paid for with a personal trainer so the next time you guys see me in here you will see what hard work really does for you.  And besides, all the eye candy there has really proven to be motivational.  I have never gone to the gym so many times in one week but I'm visually satisfied every time I go.  I know that's not a good reason but it's good for now, at least it gets me to the gym. As a matter of fact, I'm actually starting to like the gym more and more...Whatever the cause, it's helping me.

I pray that you all work and achieve whatever goals you have set forth.  For those of you who know me we will keep in touch as we already do.  For those of you who would like to keep in touch with me feel free to shoot me an email.  [email protected].  I'd love to hear from you...I'll be gone for a while but not forever...Much success to you!

Thank you to all my friends who have encouraged me to continue to encourage them.  I never in a million years would have thought this journey would be so lonely and rewarding at the same time.

Love you all!