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I am planning on going to the conference in New Orleans...anybody out there going?  I'd love to meet those who have encouraged me along the way...so if you are going, let me know so we can meet face to face...

Hey Everybody,
J2SL Journey to Self Love has taken to the airways...and its gaining momentum...my first event will be held here in Tx on July 22 and the Empowerment Symposium kicks off in Grand Rapids, MI October 8, 2011...
check out my video...let me know what you think!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mWASWH36U0

Ok, so somebody said in one of my pictures that I looked like a pastor's wife...well my response was if that was what God had for me then that would be fine with me.  Well guess what? God has prepared me for one of His most favorite sons.  I would have never thought in a million years that I would be marrying a pastor...well yes, I guess whoever said that must have known something...I know that had I not agreed to have WLS, this would not be possible.  Not because of my weight but because I now love me and there was no way that I could get here without first doing so....To all my WLSers who feel like they can't wait for their time to come...just stay deligent and vigilant...trust God!
I'll share the testimony about how it happens soon...pics to come.....yay!

Good Day All!!
I greet you in the name of Jesus...I'm here to encourage you all to keep it moving.  Dont allow yourself to get sidetracked because the best is yet to come.  I have just launched my platform for motivational speaking/ministry.  Its called The Journey to Self Love..when you get some time, check out the site... www.thejourneytoselflove.com I also want to thank you ladies who prophesied that I looked like a Pastor's wife because I have been blessed with a mighty man of God and soon to wed....I will keep you all posted and will definitely add pics...how great is our God?

Ok so, I'm fasting from FB for the next month and a half so I will use this time to encourage all I can.

I ask the question do you really love "you" because I want to know...do you think the world's view of you equals happiness? Wel,l I am here to tell you, being in a size 6 did not invoke me to love myself.  I knew I looked beautiful on the outside but still struggle on a daily basis with love...I have put so many things and people before me, I didnt even know how to start loving myself.  You say you love "you", how do you know?  How do you articulate to a person who is struggling with themselves how to love themselves?  I will share with you what I did...

First, I had to acknowledge that I didnt even know what loving me looked/felt like..i have had 3 failed marriages and until I learn to love myself there is no way in heck i would be successful in a relationship.  Not just with a man but with anyone.  The fear of rejection came from what Ive inflicted into myself.  If I loved myself, I would not have accepted 14 years of abuse from my 1st husband.  If I loved myself, I would not have lowered myself to the depth of depression to attempt suicide...if I loved myself, I would accept the change WLS has offered me.  I couldnt see past what my eyes could see because my heart was wretched.  I allowed people to use me over and over again...no more!

Secondly, I had to learn to say no.  I have not exercised this yet, but I'm confident that I can do it.  I had to learn that selfish is not always bad.  I can not be good for my children, or for my mother, my employees, my family and friends, period until I could be selfish enough to take care of myself.

The last and final thing I had to do was to recognize that I am beautiful, inside and out and there isnt anything in the world I am willing to do to change it...I will not gain my weight back, I will get my butt back in the gym.  I will start back on my vitamins and my protein. Not doing those things is not something someone who love themselves would do. 

At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves first.  We cant be anything for anyone until we first embrace and fall in love with ourselves.  I have blogged about this before but I still struggle.  I have promised myself that I will not continue to abort the mission of what and who God has for me.  This journey is far from over.  I had to move from everything which made me comfortable (even my weight) to a place of total unfamilarity....

2011 is a very promising year and God has already answered extremely favorably...Stop look and listen. Only you know if you are still trying to fake it til you make it...if you are struggling with loving yourself, put some things in place to reverse the curse...remember, the enemy comes not but to kill to steal and destroy...the first place this starts is in the mind...

I can honestly say today that I love "ME" and I love you too...

Be encouraged yall!

I moved th Houston in November and I'm totally loving it here.  All of the things I got started with last year I have left them in the past.  I am on a journey of self love and I must admit I am feeling great about it. 
I moved to TX because they possessed the resources for my daughter with autism. I am happy to announce that on Wednesday, she will be placed in an assisted living facility where they will help to cultivate her skills.  I am so excited.  I feel like I have ushered her as far in this life that I could and I know the next phase of this life for the both of us will result in being supported by people who have been trained.  Sorta like when we first started losing weight, it was hard for us to see the difference in our bodies because we had been so used to our old bodies. I have been caring and loving for this child for 14 years and I have no idea how life is going to be with the support.  I will admit that I will take it one day at a time.  This is a blessing and now every effort that I put towards the rest of my life will prosper.  To have my child in a place where she is taken care of is a dream come true.  I thought that being a size 6 was a dream but its nothing in comparison to the relief this brings my family.  Our family will be getting all they need to prosper.  This has been such an emotional decison but at the end of the day, I have to do the best for all parties included and this answers the prayer I have prayed for over 8 years...

I want to tell each of you who are reading this, you dont know what you would do if you are not in the situation.  Dont be judgemental towards anyone.  Learn to love yourself more than you can love anyone else.  If you dont take care of your own selves everyone around you suffers.  Be opened to some other ways of thinking only from those who have been thru it. So many ppl want to offer opinions to things they have no experience with, they can not advise you one way or another remember that. 

If you are struggling with which surgery to have, talk to those who have had it...not your family memebers who cant understand why you want to do this...i had RNY, so i cant advise what those who chose the band or the sleeve or DS would do or what the outcome of those surgeries will be.  I can only advise from my own perspective of RNY.  Try your best not to get caught in between other people's opinions they will have you bound...

I miss yall! Be encouraged...

Right now I have bitten off way more than I can chew...literally...my pouch can't stand all of this..lol  I am currently in school full time, work full time, 3 kids, 1 with autism, and planning/packing a move from Atlanta to Houston.  I dont have any family or friends in Houston so please know this is a journey God has placed me on.  The reason I'm going is because TX has the resources to help me with my daughter...I'm so excited...now that I have help all the business ventures will go forward..yay!!!!!

Now back to the real deal...I realize I'm still suffering from that fat girl mentality.  I'm still doing things to "fit in" and I dont have to.  I have loaned out over $11k this year just because ppl asked and I said yes.  What in the hell reason do I have to feel like I have to rescue anyone?  I am a single mother of three...I need to stop it!  I need to exercise my right to say no...I'm still allowing ppl to take advantage of me and I dont know how to stop it...

I'm realizing more and more that this journey is so much more than just weight loss, when the weight is gone then what?  I encourage you all to take care of your mental health, your emotional health and your spirit.  This isnt about the amount of protein or vitamins you take or how much you exercise at the gym.  If you do not exercise your inside...you outside still is "fat" I'm so sorry to put it that way but its the truth....Dont get it twisted, if you still can't "see" that you look good, it wont matter. 

I still have to remind myself of how wonderful I am and how beautiful I always have been.  I will not lie to any of you...the weight loss itself was a breeze compared to getting caught up emotionally.  This has been awfully emotional but I know with a continued fight of accepting myself, I will be just fine.

I have a chance at a new life, a new house in a new city...what more could a girl ask for?

Be encourged yall!

Hello all!  I've been away but not too far.  I've been so busy and I have not made time to reach out to those of you who love reading my blogs.

I want to encourage all of you who still are not sure if this is what you wanted to do.  Life does get better, I promise.  I am 7lbs away from my goal.  Its been a little over s year and I have survived.  The rollercoaster ride is just about over.  I still can't quite see me as others do but I'm working on it.  I fit my first size 6...I have never in my life worn a size 6 so yay for me...I am not wanting to be any smaller...not sure about you but how in the heck does 160lbs fit in a 6? Somebody has to help me out with this one...

So much in life has happened...its been very rewarding.  Please do me a favor, dont give up on the possibility of life after WLS...if you want to have the surger, dont second guess yourself.  If you have had the surgery, dont second guess yourself.  If you have fallen off and dont feel like you can get back on track, dont second guess yourself.  Do what you have to do to get the results you want.  Nobody has power over your decisions but you.  Dont allow the negative effects of life keep you from living yours to the fullest.  I am truly enjoying the fruit of my labor. 

There is so much life after obesity...I promise...

Be encourged yall!

For all of who have lost the ability to cross your legs or never had that ability...there is hope after WLS...I cross my legs every chance I get now because this time last year I couldnt do it....it took about a month or so to get the right one over the left one but within 2 months I was able to cross them both, since my legs have always been my greatest asset, they are even more accentuated with the weight loss and I love showing them off...i hope that doesnt come across as arogance because i dont have an arrogant bone in my body...I just wanted to share the pure joy of this journey...and those of you who say take this one day at a time, you are absolute right...there is no way really to get in front of the journey you have to literally go thru it everyday as carefully and carefree as possible....

I can workout without stopping because of joint pain...last year, every joint hurt, even the ones in my hands...not the case anymore...so for those ppl who are thinking about surgery and have those ppl tell them they should do it  "the right" way, tell them if they are able to carry 100lbs of extra anything, ie flour,  sugar,  water,  feathers, FAT....100lbs is a 100lbs no matter what its wrapped in....and still workout without pain, show you! 

This year I have more free advertisement than ever...unfortunately not everybody is happy with my decision to make myself better for whatever reason, so as a result of that, they talk....and talk...and talk some more and because of that, ppl want to meet me....its starts off as a negative thing but because my heart is pure, it turns out for my good...so for those of you who are haters...keep on hatin' we love the "free" press! hahahahaha and for those of you who have experienced the haterade since losing weight...make your haters your motivators....LOL

Love Yall as always

Be encouraged!

I want to say thank you to all you well wishers..out of the abundant positive responses I only got one lady who apparently thought boxing and poker was violence and gambling....she apparently belongs to the rant and rave because she was so negative it warranted me a response...thanks betteyjoeweekes for your support may continue to keep you breathing and maybe at some point in your life you will use it for His glory..boxing is a sport and poker is for fun...I never mentioned gambling or violence.......lol

so its been a year, and thus far, I have encouraged 3 others to my knowledge to have WLS and they have been successful.
I have changed some of my bad habits I mentioned last week, it wasnt as hard as I thought...I had one person tell me to take this one day at a time and I promise to do just that....

I got my hair re-braided and as a result of that, no excuses for not working out...the heat can't mess this hair up....I have been inspired all over again by the kind words so many of you had for me....i never knew how much i inspired people but I promise to continue on....

last year I wore a size 20/22 this year I am an 8/10
last year I wore a size 10/11 shoe this year I'm in an 8 1/2 9
last year I would not have been caught dead in a 2 piece swim suit this year i have 2
last year I had 2 tattoos and this year I have 4
last year every joint in my body hurt as a result of carrying so much extra weight....this year no pain
last year I worried about what everyone thought about me...this year I realize that what they think really doesnt matter
last year I burried myself in my room because I suffered from depression...this year, I'm only there to sleep
last year I weighed 268lbs this year I weight 163....

Go figure..Its my surgiversary and I would do it all over again 10 times....

Be encouraged yall!