chanakurtz

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Hey to all of you who have come by my site and checked out my blogs...I have fallen and I am having a hard time getting up....I find myself snacking all the time now...I went 6 months without any sugar and now I find myself eating small candies and things all too often...I have recently converted my garage into a home gym and as I thought I am not as disciplined to go in the garage as I was to go to the gym...I am getting this out because it gives me a sense of responsibility to those of you who have supported me and if I remain silent about it, I feel guilty. 
This journey is so far more than what you look like, please remember that!  I thank God for another chance at this thing everyday.  I am so flawed but one day I know I will get back into the swing of things...once you get off its so hard to get back on...thank Jesus he has blessed me with a wonderful companion, one who happens to be a boxer...he has been wonderful with reminding me to take care of me! I just wanted to let you know that I struggle just like all of us do in some capacity or another and right now, I juggling so many balls I dont know which one I'm going to drop...I didnt realize so much time and effort was going to have to go into maintaining this weight loss...I have not gained any weight which is a blessing and I promise to all of those who support me that I am going to do better so that I have something to blog about..God has kept me for so long and I promise not to disrespect this gift...so today, if you know that you have fallen and have picked up some bad habits again, stand tall....and put it down....its not hard.  Like myself, you have come too far to turn back now.  Dont beat yourself up and surely dont allow anyone else to...I have this saying, "I'm not going to let anyone steal my joy and I'm sure not going to give it to them"  remember that today, dont allow anyone or anything (candy, cake, soda) to steal your joy...you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you have so many others to inspire so keep it up...
I'm going to try not to stay too far away from yall, but I have not had a lot of time to devote to the page.  I just closed on a house yesterday that I am converting into a daycare...hopefully it will be up and running by January...along with that I have started a promotions company, I am now a boxing promoter and will be starting a poker league here in Atlanta so I'm so excited about those fun things I have going on...none which would have been possible had I not decided to have WLS....I love my RNY and not mis-taking the reason why this surgey has been effective for me...
Don't get side tracked, I have quite a bit and I am dedicated today to get back on track and be the success story that so many people admire....Be encourged yall!

Love Ya!

Hello to all my new friends and my old ones.....I want to list a few things that I know are important while on this journey...the other night I was driving in the pouring down rain and it was at that time God used that rain to minister to me...this is what was revealed....
if you are in a storm and its pouring down raining, I mean zero visibility.....it is pouring and you want to pull over because you can not see...you know where you are going but you can see how you are going to get there.....DO NOT pull over and stop in that storm...I repeat, DO NOT pull over in that storm...keep moving, no matter how slow you have to go....put your hazards on, get over in the slow lane and keep it moving...you know why?  Its not raining everywhere....if you pull over in it you get stuck in it...whatever your it is, you have got to keep moving thru it. Just a small distance away, its clear as if it was never raining...you dont have to look back or wonder how you made it thru just keep moving...so many times in this life we want to try to figure "it" out when in all seriousness, God only wants you to keep moving and trust Him that all things work together and not matter how bad it may seem it will work out for your good....

Dont try to compare yourselves with anyone.  I have only lost 103lbs in 11 months...Did I just say "only" I so apologize for that.  I could have easily erased that word and you would have never known that I struggle with the mere fact that so many others have lost so much more than me...SO WHAT....no matter how much you have lost, I can guarantee that it was more than you had lost this time last year or even last month...dont get stuck with trying to compare yourself to anyone else cuz you ever know what that other person had to go thru to get where they are....

Dont beat yourself up...if you fall get urself up, dont dwell on it, we are in recovery just like so many other types of addicts and this journey will last for the rest of our lives.  I have my closest friends and family begging me not to lose another pound and honestly after 1 month my stall is over and I lost 3 lbs last week.  I'd love to tell them that I'm not going to lose another pound but I am trying to get off 13 more pounds.  I tell them with love, I have a goal to acheive and thanks for their support...

Learn to love yourself like nobody ever can....if I dont say anything else in this blog I want you to know that it is so important for you to love yourselves....I struggle so bad with this...I know that I am better than I have ever been in my life, but because of all of the abuse I have self-inflicted, its hard to embrace the change...if you are preop, start loving on yourself now...if you are post op and struggle with this, start today.....look at yourself and tell you that you love you....aint that something, even if you dont mean it right now, do it...im not telling you this just for show...i have to start doing this myself because if you dont stand for something you will fall for anything and I'm so sick of falling....

I know this was long but I love you all and want you so badly to be successful.  Some ppl have made this process seem so easy but its not but its worth the every emotional dip you will experience, I promise!

Be encouraged yall!!!!

Hey yall, I havent been in here in a while and I'm glad to say, I'm 11 months in, next month will be my 1 year surgiversary.
I am so proud of my results.  I hit a stall for a month or so but it is now broken, thank you Jesus! I am about 13lbs from my goal and I feel marvelous.  I am glad I reconsidered the cosmetic surgery for now, I can see this tummy finally disappearing...I just want to encourage all of you to keep moving...dont get stuck with where you are. If you are not happy you get happy! You have control of the outcome of whatever involves you.  It takes alot of work but its worth it! More pics to be added soon...that size 6 is closer than I think...LOL

Hey There,
My spirit is feeling a bit heavy right now and when I am in a space like this I find extreme comfort in writing.  So I feel like I have a million things going on and none of them have solutions...first thing is, I am working out with a trainer but have neglected my cardio over the past 2 weeks....I cant remember to tk the vitamins, drink the protein, drink the water and stay away from sweets...this is way harder than I thought but what do you do?  You keep it moving...2nd thing is, I have a 13 year old daughter with autism and I feel like for the first time in her life I cant care for her...me and my other 2 daughters have been prisoner to her disorder all of their lives and now I feel the resentment build up in my 16 year old and my 8 year old....what do I do? Just keep it moving and try to make the best decisions for them all...they all deserve a better quality of life but my being cant fathom putting my child in a facility even though I know it may be the best for her....I have no support from my ex husband or my family when it comes to my children so I know at this point I have a HUGE decision to make...third thing, my oldest daughter is going into her Sr year and I havent pushed her nearly enough.  She just applied for a summer program at one of the art schools here in GA and she needs her SAT scores in order to get accepted..well guess what? she hasnt taken the yet...i should know better but I've been so consumed with making sure I take care of myself I have let so many things slip...so now they say they will take her PSAT scores but I dont know if its enough to get her in...if she's accepted she will come out of this program with 10 credits toward her freshman year and gain automatic acceptance there...so we are waiting for an acceptance, what do you do til then?  Keep it moving....work in very stressful, the good of it is, we have grown almost 100% already.....sounds good and dandy but it is very hard when there's nobody in the whole organization who can do what you do so therefore, I dont get to take an adequate vacation...Job security? yea right, bullcrap is what I think....but what do I do? I keep it moving, cause if not, I will waste alot of time thinking about it and it will destroy my psyche.....I need to be in a positive state of mind to keep you all encouraged so I have to keep it moving...even though my world feels like its crumbling I have to keep it moving so none of the pieces which are falling kills me...
I pray that if anyone reading this feels overwhelmed like me, that God grants you a peace of mind! Please pray with and for me that I get some answers to these many issues that have me plagued....thanks for reading!

Be encouraged!

I wanted to send a global thank you to all of you who responded to my post on yesterday.  You have no idea how it touches me to know that I have encouraged and inspired only one, yesterday's post had the most responses that I have ever received.  Lets me know that I am headed in the right direction.  Again, I promise to keep it real at all times.  This journey is not easy but the results are more than rewarding.  Be honest about why you are doing this.  That's my best advice.  I had to check myself when I started wanting to get cosmetic surgery and all that jazz....My single most important goal was to be healthy, I'm feeling wonderful.  I wanted my kids not to be embarrassed and they are not. In fact, my 8 year old said to me, "mommy you are skinny, I can't pick your fat up anymore" that was so funny!  I say all this to say, enjoy your new life.  Don't be afraid, fear paralyzes us.  Someone asked in one of my responses did I allow this stuff to move me and guess what it doesnt. I will continue to give, and I will continue to love.  I will not allow people to continue to take advantage of me! I will learn to accept me for the new me...my heart doesnt have to change cus this stuff will make you bitter..you dont have to allow it!  Make sure you get someone you can trust in your corner...Beauty blinds people, if you are not careful you will be stuck in what society thinks in beautiful and miss out on the real pupose of this transformation. 
Thank you all again, thanks for supporting me.  It truly makes me better!

Be encourged! Love you all!

Its been almost a month since I posted, thanks to all of you who support my blogs.  This is for the new WLS patients who either just got their surgery or who are getting ready for it.  First off, do not, I repeat, do not allow the enemy to make you second guess your decision.  No you are not going to die on the table and yes you will be successful.  I know the anxiety of such a transformation makes you batty but you will be just fine.  I encourage you today to start speaking positive affirmations to yourself.  I am in a size 8 from a 20 and there are days I just refuse to believe the truth.  I keep telling myself that there is no way I'm small and I refuse to believe that I'm skinny.  I wasnt shooting for skinny however, I have achieved skinnier.  I'm skinnier than I was but small, skinny, or slim is not an adjective you would use to describe me.
Saying all that to say, I want you to take heed to what I am about to tell you.  There are people in this world that are sent to use you til they cant use you anymore.  Since becoming socially acceptable I have been swindled out of about $5000 doing what I did as "the fat chick". When I say fat chick I mean that loving, caring, will do anything for anyone kinda chick.  We do it because we feel a need to be accepted by those who would have not generally accepted us.  I just want to encourage all who are reading now that you have to dig deeeeppppp within yourself to accept yourself.  You can not afford, to allow people to take advantage of you because you, yourself have not accept you....does that make sense?  Being fat does not make you less than and it does not make you anyone's doormat.  Do not allow people to befriend you to steal from you.  Your heart is pure and you love because not out of need from taking something from someone else.  I have lost several people I thought were truly my friends until I loaned them money and they never bothered to pay me back.  I would have done it for any on my friends but now I dont talk to any of them and I have to do without.  Thousands of dollars because I wanted someone to see what I ultimately can't even see in myself....So please, honor yourself, love yourself, and please don't allow people to perpetually take advantange of you!  Embrace your change and you will be blessed by it!

Hey OH Family!!!!!

I wrote previously about me getting the tummy tuck but now I've changed my mind....Let me tell you why!  When I sought out WLS, it was never for vanity per se that I wanted to have the surgery.  I mainly wanted to get in front any potential health issues because 268lbs is not healthy for any woman.  Well, I've been successful at what I set out to acheive.  Not that I'm not getting a tummy tuck because I will eventually do that, however, for now.  I will continue to work my tool the right way and as a last result I will cut the rest off...LOL....I feel so good and I might add, I dont look too bad in my clothes.  My tummy gives me a little discomfort but I realize it only bothers me....So that being said, enjoy the pictures I just added and I look forward to your responses...You guys have helped me so much you will never know how much.  Without my OH family I would not have been this successful! Love Yall! Stay encouraged...

Its been 8 months, I'm down 102lbs with 16lbs to go til goal...I'm wearing size 8's and 10's and I couldnt be more happy with the results from my WLS....i'm working out almost everyday, i finally have the desire for it, i didnt think that day would every come...lol...i just had my first consultation for addomnoplasty (tummy tuck) so that will take place in June and I'm so excited...My goal is to get to a 6 rather i stay in the 6 or not, I want to get there...for vanity reasons im sure, who am i kidding?

I tried to do some dating but I dont like it..I'd rather be with one guy but since I've been married on and off my whole adult life I'm going to take some of this free time to enjoy being single...life is good.

Be encouraged yall!

OMGGGGG, today I was getting my fitness assessment done and the scale said 168! Can you believe that? Tomorrow will be 7 months post op and 100lbs are gone.  I have 18lbs til goal!  I am definitely preparing for my party on April 24th so if you can come be a part with me I would be so happy....

Not only is today a landmark for me, my aunt has successfully made it thru WLS.  She had the gastric sleeve done today and will join us all on the loser's bench.  Its snowing here in Atlanta but all I see is sunshine...

Be encouraged yall!

I must say, OH is truly a place of peace and hope for me.  You have no idea the number of inspiring words I hear on a daily basis just for doing the things I so love to do.  I am currently seeking an opportunity to work with a group of bariatric physicians.  My psychologist will be working with some of the top surgeons here in Atlanta and she wants me to work with her to encourage others who are contemplating WLS.  Please pray with me that this opportunity is manifested? I am overjoyed to say the least.  I know that every last one of us has something we can encourage our fellow WLSers on.  I have done nothing more than anyone except kept my expectations regarding my results "real" and share them with you. 

I'm not like all the SUPER WLSers. I dont eat whey foods and high protein stuff.  I dont work out like crazy and some days I forget to take my vitamins. However, everyday I wake up with the best intentions to use my tool in the capacity in which it was created.  Overall health! 

 I knew going in I wanted a drastic result, what I didn't know going in was that it was going to take me some time before I would mentally be able to accept that I had transition into a whole different person. Like I've said before this is a journey...a very long journey and its no quick fix.  I have been at a stall for weeks now and I knew that if I wanted to break the stall I had to do something about it.  I have been in the gym for the past 2 mornings and I will take it one day at a time. 

I've chosen to push myself now, I have lost this weight pretty much just because the surgeon did his thing.  I have done nothing extra but I'm ready to go beyone the ordinary to the extraordinary.  I now understand that people are counting on me to be a success.  I'm counting on myself to be successful!

Just keep me covered with prayer that the purpose of this surgery will be fulfilled.  God brought me to it and He will indeed see me thru it!

Luv Yall!