Maria P.

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I am just about finished with all of the consultations, tests and evaluations for final surgery clearance. I'm just waiting to do my upper endoscopy and my labwork. My PCP was surprisingly supportive of my decision and will write the letter of support for Dr. Smith. All of the doctor's I've seen for consults have been fairly supportive and have hinted at either small concern for my dimples on my checks going away or wanting to see me once I loose the weight. Anyway, all in all it's been a good experience. Oh yeah, two of the male doctors I saw for consults both speak highly of Dr. Smith and think I made a great choice in picking him for the surgery. Well now I need to start working on getting my finances together. Please pray that my loan is approved, I do have a plan B however, and I will find a plan C if that fails through for some odd reason. Ok, so what's really going on with me inside, well, my PCP has me a little nervous. He shared with me that his concern is that I do not stretch my new stomach pouch, because he believes that the stomach works as a whole muscle and since the surgery cuts the muscle that its functioning will be different. What's worse is that if I do not get my head together and change my lifestyle and relationship with food now I will have problems making the change after surgery and long term it could cause me many stomach problems if I stretch out what is left of my stomach. I think he said this to make sure that I take this serious since I have not been able to take my diet history serious enough to solve the problem without surgery. So my goal or rather plan is to stay in monthly therapy for the first year and then work my way to twice a year on an annual basis or as needed. Ok, I am sorry for the rambling if anyone is reading this, my mind is going so fast, I am trying to keep up with it. Hehe! So all in all I am planning to do a finaly Last Supper or create my final goodbyes to food as I know it know. Then start my new way of eating before the surgery as well as pump up my exercising (as if I do any right now LOL)! Stay tuned...

Well this Wednesday afternoon I will meet with the Gastroenterologist. Dr. Smith's office wants me to have an ultrasound of my gallbladder and an upper GI. I also have appointments next week on the 18 & 19 with the Pulmonologist, Dietician, and my PCP to have an array of bloodwork done. I also need to have my PCP order a Chest xray. I am hoping that he will support me on this. I went to him two years ago asking for his support and he told me to do weight watchers. I tried several diets after that but non were successful, obviously or i wouldn't be back here on OH trying to get the gastric sleeve. But I am also planning my back up plan in case he is not supportive of my decision. By now he has probably received the letter from Dr. Smith, so I have that in my corner. I just need to send him a letter as well asking for his support now and after surgery. But if I do not get his support I will find someone who will support me. I will also consider the surgery with Dr. Aceves in Mexico which is a less expensive route anyway. I am so looking forward to being on the loser's bench. Like my President Elect "It's been a long time coming, but our change gone come."

Well I finally got to meet Dr. Dennis Smith today. My sister, my support person and advocate came along with me and gave her seal of approval of the doctor. Now comes the long or hopefully not so long process. They gave me this thick packet of materials to review at my leisure, including a list of blood work and tests that I need to have done. My goal is to have these all completed asap so that I can try to stick with my goal of having the surgery before the new year. The doctor's office assistant assured me the hospital has open dates, so it's up to me to have all the preop items taken care of asap. Not sure if it is possible but we shall see. I am also considering possibly changing doctor's  should my other insurance option also not cover the sleeve forcing me to go self-pay. I will then look into going to Mexico and checking out Dr. Aceves. Another OH person told me about him and I keep hearing a lot of good things about him. I will just need a support person to be there for me since I would be making the trip by myself-my sister doesn't have a passport and does not like to fly unless absolutely necessary and she has made it clear she won't go to Mexico. So I have some fast moves that I need to make and decisions to finalize by the end of this week. I am going to start the process of applying for financing and see where it takes me. Stay tuned.....Yes We Can.....

Well the day was going well until I went to eat dinner at my parents home. We were watching the Dolphin football game while during a commerical I remind my mother that tomorrow I met with the surgeon. I asked her did she want to go. Unfortunately, she apparently forgot what she shared with me the other day. She switched out on me and went back to her old negative talk. She said that I just need to lean on my parents for help in eating right. As if she has actually mastered her weight herself. She has struggled with her weight just like her father did and now she is battling prediabetes. I am doing the WLS to avoid these problems. I understand that I need to do something before I do become diabetic. I was so upset by her lack of support I wanted to cry. But instead I left their house, came home, go on the internet to post this blog. Lesson for the day, no longer mention the surgery to my mother until I am home from the hospital after surgery...

I've set my date to meet with the surgeon. We will meet on this coming Monday. My sister is coming. My mother has finally accepted that I have made up my mind and now just wants to make sure that I have done my homework. She had a friend who had the WLS and pretty much gained all of her weight back. I am well aware that the surgery is just one of many steps we have to take to loose the weight and keep it off. I am prepared to have a new shot at weight loss and will not take this opportunity for granted. I am committing to staying in mental health therapy for the long haul, so that I can avoid some of the pitfalls that come along with wls such as depression and other addictions. I need to work on my meal plans so that I can begin mentally preparing to eat healthier, I'm just glad my stomach won't be so wide anymore, cause boy I can pig out, when I want to and that is not healthy.

Well Praise God that my insurance company now is willing to cover weight loss surgery. It is full steam ahead with this process. I am confident that this is the right thing to do for myself. I have fully explored all of my options and am ready to proceed with getting clearance for surgery. I have approval from the WLS doctor, Dr. Smith's office and I just need to schedule my consultation with them to get the ball rolling. I will do that on Monday and begin making plans to find the new Maria who is anxiously waiting to come out and wear all of the clothing I have been wanting to wear for so long. I can hardly wait to drop the weight and be free of this mini-person I am carrying around. stayed tuned

This weight loss journey is full of ups and downs. I write this blog today to share with whoever reads these that what it takes is a strong desire to stay on track. Let me explain. Okay, so I was doing the Atkins Diet and it was working, but I kept sabotaging my weight loss with so-called cheat days that turned into cheat weeks and binges. Over the course of me doing Atkins, I did not exercise and at chocolates that I had purchased from a school fundraiser. I ate so much chocolate that I actually got caffeine withdrawal symptoms. I had to go to the doctor to make sure I was okay, never admitting that it was chocolate and not coffee that took me to the edge of no return. Now I will back up a bit and share that I recently found out that my ex (former abusive husband) married the %^&&* he was cheating on me with. I was hurt and devastated by that news and used it as an excuse to have a pity party and me moment. What I should have done was use that energy to stay focused and get super fine and flaunt it in his face to show he all of the 80% he is missing out on. (That was a reference to the Why Did I Get Married Movie by Tyler Perry). Anyway, I am realizing that I cannot allow myself cheat days at this point because I am still training myself to learn self-control and discipline. So now, I am back on the Raw Food Diet in hopes to shed the weight and reverse the damage done by eating fast foods and other garbage. I know that I must also deal with my yo yo dieting. I keep doing so many diets and never can stay on top of things except the time when I was younger and turned to diet pills and starvation. I now am challenging myself to learn to say "no". No to cheat days, no to trying to convince myself that I can easily go back to a diet. My challenge will come next week. Let's see how it goes.

Even though my doctor would not approved the WLS I am determined to do whatever I can to lose this weight. So I am still doing Dr. Atkins and it is working. Yesterday, I saw this handsome man while at the car lot with my sister. I felt as if he was kind looking at me and it felt really nice. I have not felt that way in a long time. It felt so good that I regretted not saying something because I was too insecure about how he would respond. I guess I will never know unless God causes us to meet again somewhere some how. Regardless, I want to feel those feelings again. The sad thing is that I have a boyfriend, but he does nothing for me like that. In fact, I need to drop him because he said he was not physically attracted to me and he is lacking in the romance department big time. So getting my liberation from him will free me up to be on the market again and to experience the rush of pheromones you feel when you first meet someone. Stay tuned, let's see what God is up to.

I am back on the spot once again and am steady losing weight finally. I still have not been approvedfor the WLS so I am donig what I can to lose weight. This time around I am doing the Atkins way and am actually seeing results. People are even noticing. I know it's not the best way but it works so I will stick with it. I am happy to read abour everyone's post op progress and I hope that I one day find my way to the other side for good. Until next time. If you wish to reach me right away try my E-mail account at [email protected]. Ciao

Well it's been a while since I have been on this site. A lot has gone on. I am still going back and forth with the Raw Food Diet. Dropped a solid 10 pounds so far. But experienced some emotional setbacks, dealing with the death of my cousin, Sophia. We were close and I miss her so much. But tomorrow is the day that I said I would start back with the eating right. I have pretty much given up on the idea of WLS. My doctor won't approve it neither will my insurance. So it is up to me to do it the old fashion way. It should be easier now that the school year is ending and I will have several weeks off from work to focus on me and my dissertation. So, that's the plan. Fruits, Juices, and Salads etc. No cooked foods, but ah natural the way God planned it from the beginning. It has been a real transition to switch to this way of eating, but the long term benefits are much healthier than the alternative. I look forward to the journey. I will try to keep blogging through my experience. Peace unto all on their Weight Loss Journey.