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-6 pounds for the month of September.. same as August, so maybe this is my new trend?   I have been taking lots of pictures. Some for my mom, cos she has been asking and also because like my daughter mentioned to me.. that I have been "missing" in such a large chunk of pictures from her childhood... for one- because I was the photographer and for two- because I have always been ashamed of my weight. The rest are for me.. to see the difference. Sometimes I see it, still other times I don't. Sometimes I even feel like that even isn't me in the pictures I take. I still feel so ugly and obese. Issues right? I am praying about it.

-6 pounds for the month of August.. s l o w e st month losing yet!  But lots went on late July and into August. I am happy ..kind of, yet have so many other things weighing on me. I was 155 for a few days, but my friend the scale read 156 most currently ;)  This is rough. Sometimes it feels like a dream, sometimes I can't remember how it all got started. Sometimes I get angry for letting myself go as bad as I did.. I know I have to forgive myself, there are all sorts of healings-in-progress that have come to a head in this last month. God is good.

-10 pounds for the month of July. I stalled there for a while, but figured it was again due to the time out I have been post-op PLUS the addition to a different excercise regime. I added .5 miles to my 1.5 mile jog, stilll doing a 20 minute Winsor Pilates workout, started a worksite Wellness Program and walking 1 mile in the morning with co-workers before work AND going to the gym with Linda 1-2xs a week. It has been a little discouraging not seeing the pounds drop like before, but since I am so much closer to goal I have to remember that I have been through a lot. So..  I guess the only other thing I might have to add in this post is that I have changed my goal weight again. Originally, my goal weight was 150. Well, that is 12 pounds away from now and I believe I will not be happy with that anymore considering what I know I can do and how much further I believe I have yet to go. My second goal weight was 140, against my surgeon's goal of 130, lol... I just didn't wanna disappoint myself, ya know? But this work-out thing kicks ass and I think I just might be able to reach that goal for myself. Nothing is impossible for me anymore... so now I have just 32 more pounds to lose. Yeah, I think I can do it :)

-8 pound less since last month ... looks so, so sad huh? And it is. It is extremely difficult to not see the scale move.. BUT where it make up was in the loss of inches! My stomach looks a bit less flabby and that is due to my walking, the ab lounger, the other daily 200 mini sit-ups and the Winsor Pilates that I have been occupying myself with. Month 5 has been the slowest at losing weight and it makes me wonder if this is how the rest of the ride is gonna be.. I can't complain.. I would like to lose 40 more pounds.. but they say we lose for 18 mths right?  And that pretty much covers my 5 month summary. Will try and post pictures this weekend. God is great.

What can I say? These last 4 months of my life have been so new that I sometimes have to take a step back and actually try to soak it in. I have lost a total of 77.5 pounds. My personal goal used to be at 150, but I have lowered down a bit to 140 since it's a happy medium from the 130 the docs told me about the last time I had a checkup. And I think I can totally do it.   And that pretty much covers my 4 month summary. Ooo I almost forgot.. I donated blood today. It went smashingly great. I was actually comfortable in their little chairs and didn't have the oo-no-I'm-gonna-break-it fear. God is great.

I AM 208.. HEAR ME ROAR! Just kidding, but I am SO excited to be 208. I finally decided to buy new undies since in one of the forums I belong to a lady had an incident where her panties feel off her body whilst she was shopping and the only thing stopping them was her pantlegs. YIKES! So yeah... besides the big mama briefs I always used to get, I decided on buying me some low-rise hispters (size 7). They are toooo cute. I have lost 59.5 pounds and have shaved off a wee bit more than 10 points off my BMI so far. I am mostly in 18s.. might/could be smaller but I have a W-I-D-E waistline and that'll be the hardest thing for me to "shape". I found a size 16 shirt my Mom had bought me years ago and it fit nicely. I also found something WONDERFUL. I wasn't a very big milk-drinker before surgery, and am not now.. but HEB sells this wonderful lactose-free milk called MooTopia.. and it is to die for. Both nutritionists at the clinic I work for absoluetly love it for me and I've taken just fine to it (regular and chocolate) but I know I should ask my doc on Tuesday about it. It has less sugar and more protein than regular skim and/or 2% milk... and of course the calcium, always the calcium. It's been great so far.. I can't believe it's been 3 months already. I did have a moment of weakness last weekend and a bite of a do-nut and it hit me hard. Boy did it taste good but ohhh did the pouch NOT like it. I learned my lesson though. The thought of putting sugary bread in my mouth makes me wanna vomit, lol. Ohh.. and I have a NECK, who'd have thought?!?! Rock on!

Today is my one month anniversary! I am excited. I have had to learn to live life differently and I love it. I enjoy not spending riduculous amounts of time eating and stuffing myself and feeling guilty afterwards. Now it's a life living in a healthier frame of mind to nourish my body. I walked 1.5 miles again last night and I am feeling it now.. feels good. I even got some good results with the experimenting of mixing fruits with my protein and it didn't taste so bad.. just have to get my mind and stomach accustomed to it, this new routine. Also.. going through clothes that I haven't been able to fit into since 2000 has been a great reward. Seems unreal that fitting into old clothes could make one so happy, but it has. I now weigh what I used to when I was 25. And it's only gonna get better.. gonna work on pics :)