Something I wrote in September 2011... I want to share it here.

Dec 31, 2012

Dredging up a facebook note I wrote and shared. I think it is a good read and I wanted it to be on my OH blog too. 15 months later it still applies.

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At 31 I have lived a great deal. Admittedly I have many more life lessons to go I am sure... I wanted to take a few moments to write things down.

I've loved and lost, loved and won...

I've endured illness, and overcome it!

I've been in the midst of drama, and calmed drama...

I spend my days trying to teach another how to perceive the world, relate to others, and to be understanding when situations are not clearly defined, or have unplanned changes.

I am by nature far too giving, accepting and forgiving. I give my time, and even my last 5$ to anyone who needs it, I accept people as they are even when their beliefs differ from mine as long as they do the same... The only lack of tolerance I can muster is for those who show none to others. With regards to forgiveness... I do admit it is harder for me to let go. I perseverate on the little things, the past slights (be they real or "imagined") and yet eventually I do forgive... Even if I never manage to forget.

Just because I will accept you and your actions, forgive any emotional or physical damage you might dish out, and eventually do my very best to forgive you for your actions... Do not think I am a pushover. I'm not your doormat. I am just as likely to ensure you've thoroughly reaped what you have sewn before I truly "forgive" your actions.

I am at the point in my life where I am not sure which road to take next. Do I sever the last of the ties that I allow to bind me, or do I continue to beat my head against the proverbial wall?

Now some might wonder at this point whom I refer to, or assume they know exactly who I mean when I write this. Some will assume I mean friends or acquaintances, and others will assume I mean family be they immediate or extended. Let me say I am blessed in that I have some of the best friends and family around in many ways. My closest friends are simply the extended family I am fortunate enough to have managed to choose for myself.

My nearest and dearest don't always have the time, energy or wherewithal to call, email, or drop by with any regularity... Any more then I do myself. Yet when we can manage we squeeze in as much as we can, pick up where we left off and it feels like there was no missed time at all. Thank the sun, moon and stars for those who I am lucky to have found, or had the fortune to end up related to.

While I understand that people are busy, and caught up in their lives... Just as I am with my own. It takes but a moment to say 'Hello. How's life? Things are a bit busy these days but just wanted to reach out to you." If you're one of those who's forgotten to take that moment from your busy life to do just that with someone who should be an important part of your life then now may be the time to do just that.

Next time you are sitting there in your home or personal space, and have 15 minutes to kill... Take a look around. Do you have photos of your family? Do you tuck them into a book to pull out and treasure them? Do you keep them on a disk so you can easily view them, share them or print them? Do you include all of your family, or is there someone who is curiously absent? Should you fix that by making memories, or including the photograph you left out... Whether it be accidental, or deliberate due to nothing more then your own sense of esthetics or insecurities which in turn will likely be hurtful to the person that was excluded should they ever happen to notice.

It might seem odd that I ask these things, or ask you to contemplate these things but I do have my reasons. If you think back to my opening lines you might recall that I've endured illness and overcome it. You'll recall that I spend a lot of my time teaching another person things that should come with ease but in our case they can be a struggle at the best of times. You'll recall that I have lived with drama and love, and that I try to be the most accepting, supporting and forgiving person I am able to be.

When I was ill one of the only ways I knew to make sure I could have some comfort was to get lost in my thoughts staring at a photograph. Those memories made me smile and gave me a moment of brightness in my day.

Those quick messages asking how I was doing allowed me to know I wasn't alone, and thankfully still keep coming to let me know that while I spend a great deal of my life trying to teach another person things that people take for granted... Again I am not alone, and someone cares how my day is going.

I offer acceptance, support and forgiveness because I have realized that if I continue to hold in the bitterness I feel over perceived wrongs it will make me an angry person. This isn't to say I don't get angry but life is too damn short, and too damn precious to waste on such negativity.

I encourage everyone to stop missing the opportunity to make memories, and live the way they hope to. The reality is that tomorrow doesn't always come. Sometimes tomorrow might come and bring your own personal hell... Assuming you can always do it later might not be soon enough for yourself, or the others involved. If you truly can't find a reason to do this then maybe you should know your actions could have brightened someones day just by sparing nothing more than a moment.

If I took the time to tag you... You may be a friend, you may be family, you may be someone who has pushed the limits of my tolerance, or you might simply be someone who I thought this might touch on some level. If you were missed it is an oversight and not a slight. In that I promise... Regardless of which category or categories you fall into I just want you to know that at the very lest... Today you know you are not alone.

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