CynthiaLouisaJane
30 lbs!!
Feb 16, 2007
Bring it on!
Feb 13, 2007
Mardi Gras is in full force here, and today I almost bought a King Cake. If you don't know, a King Cake is a traditional pastry filled with pralines and cream cheese, chocolate, bavarian cream, cinnamon and other assorted flavorful sugar-laden delicacies.
I had it in my hand, I was standing in line to pay and I went and put it back. I guess that is good, but I still wish I had it.
My whole point here is that I am trying to occupy my mind with other things until I get my next fill (HURRY UP.)
I am motivating myself with visions of firm Double-D boobs that I hope to reward myself with after the weight comes off. I usually have no problem losing weight during the summer, I am looking for a big blitz during the next few months.
I have always been anti-PS, but now I know I am destined to go under the knife. Not sure what that means, in some ways I feel very chickens*** that I can't just age gracefully, and in others I feel happy to know that I will probably look better than I have in 20 years. Is it sinful to spend that kind of money on boobs?
I am still sorting it all out.
CJ
PS: Anybody wanna buy some real estate? Work has been very quiet today (calm before the storm.)
Progress!
Feb 07, 2007
But I have been measuring my progress with clothes instead. I truly have not weighed in over a week. But I searched in my closet and found a shirt I had bought on Ebay 2 years ago, WAY TOO TIGHT, I looked like a stuffed sausage!
WHOO HOO, It fits really great! The pants I am wearing it with are almost too big.
I wore this outfit to the breast specialist today and she told me to come back in 6 months, I only have some fluid filled cysts. Things are looking up. I am still counting down until my next fill, although, I find I do not get as hungry between meals. I had to give up the high carb smoothies in the am. Once they were digested I would have SEVERE nausea. I almost hurled in my office.
Constipation...a sneaky and slow problem
More later! I am going to weight tomorrow on the mondo scale (water, muscle mass, fat...) and see what happened.
CJ
Tuesday
Jan 30, 2007
Back agin! I am down to 305 today. Boy, it is really going slow. The good thing is my clothes are getting loose. DH is also on a new food plan and he is looking and feeling great. I am really proud of him! So sexy and good looking, he is!
My first big goal is to be under 300 and it seems very elusive. Guess I wont make it for Feb. 1.
I keep going to look at peoples profiles for inspiration. I am feeling a little alone in this, and really, all these darn people asking me how much I have lost. Everybody knows at least ten people who have had bypass and melted away. So, they thing I should be a shrinky dink by now, I mean I am at 6 weeks and still fluffy.
FILL? WHAT FILL??
Jan 26, 2007
What am I feeling? A little sad because my fill is pretty much non-existent. That means I am going to have to white knuckle it for another month and really stick to the low carb program if I want to lose any weight at all. Now I have another problem to contend with:
I went to my gyno and pointed out a small lump I have had in my breast and it is a lot harder, although not bigger. She really freaked out over it. Last year at the Torture House of Breast Squashing aka Mammographer, they totally blew me off. My doc told me to get the mammo and make an appointment with a breast specialist. Well, I was somewhat prepared that the lump might be an issue, but seeing my doc's reaction really must have done a number on me. I have turned into the Queen Bitch, mean as dirt and ate some potato chips and a cereal bar. It did not taste good, nor did it fill me up. It was the first carb laden food I have eaten in a month, gave me a raging headeach. DH is very worried, never seen him like this before. I got it back in gear yesterday and today, lo-carbing it. Then I had the mammo today and they also did a sonogram, same as last year, but this time they did not blow me off. I clearly pointed out to them that I told them last year there was SOMETHING IN THERE, but they could not find it, and perhaps their new digital mammography equipment and different staff could find it this year. Well, yes, they found it. Dare I utter the "C" word. Well, I am sure thinking it.
Ok, back to the weight loss. My body wants me to weigh 307. I weighed 307 for over two years, and my body has gone down to that weight and up to that weight like a freaking magnet. I have gotten down to 304, and I have gone back up to 307. NO NO NO! I wont have it! My goal is to be below 300 for Valentine's Day. I WILL!
DH gave me a ring yesterday, pretty silver Fleur de Lis with diamonds in honor of ....ME!
More later. If you do read this, say some prayers and think some positive thoughts for me! THANKS!
XOXOXO CJ
First Fill
Jan 23, 2007
1 cc in. Chris found the port right off the bat, it is not where I thought it was. The incision is about 2" above the port. This incision is still flaring up from time to time, still finding a couple of shreds of thread here and there.
Restricted to liquids and soups til tomorrow. All I ate today was 1/2 chicken breast for breakfast and liquids all day until dinner: BAKED FAUXTATO SOUP! My favorite. Ate 1 cup with two baby carrots cooked until doomsday (kids and dh had pot roast.)
Well, it is one hour later and I am still full. So, I am hoping this fill will keep me going until next month when I get fill #2.
Apple Pie and Ice Cream
Jan 20, 2007
Here is a sample menu for the past two weeks: Protein drink/smoothie in am, snack in mid afternoon and then dinner, high protein. I have been trying to do less than 8 carbs per day. I am still able to eat quite a bit, but I have a lot of restriction in the morning and at varying times during the day. I have been doing ok on my water, but need to get about 12 more ounces per day, I have been feeling thirsty a lot at night. I have a lot of hunger in the late morning, but I have not been doing well if I eat in the morning. The smoothies are pretty thin and they really dont give any fullness, but the protein keeps me from being hungry for a couple of hours.
Tonite I had my first eat out meal in a long time. Green beans, turnip greens, grilled fish and okra. I could not do the okra. DH has also been doing lo carb, and has lost about 8 lbs.
We decided to go for broke and have no sugar added apple pie and no sugar added ice cream. It tasted SOOO sweet! I only had three bites, it is still with me! It was really good, but I would not want it again tomorrow. I have not been craving any carbs, even french fries. I am a fry freak.
This is the most I have talked about food or thought about food and it is weird. I am hungry sometimes, but not craving anything, especially not carbs! That is a HUGE turning point for me that it is just as easy for me to eat healty food and be satisfied.
OY VEY!
XOXOXOXOXO
UGHHH, PB, SLIME....
Jan 17, 2007
Remind me of this later. I may never eat again.
how much have you lost????
Jan 15, 2007
BTW- I have lost about 23 lbs total. I still have 130 lbs to go. BUT I am on my way.
I just really needed to vent.
On the other hand, I feel great. My only complaint is minor, my port is right at my waist band and it gets really irritated from my underwear. At this point in my life, I have no desire to wear bikini undies. So, I just stick a bandaid on and go with it.
My husband is doing lo-carb and has lost about 10 lbs. His belly has definately shrunk! If this is TMI, so sorry, but while we were getting it on last night we found out that we could get a lot closer because our bellies were flatter so we had to do it again just because. I guess that was worth getting the band for! WHOO HOO!
Not Quite a Month....
Jan 10, 2007
I have been on the HiPro regimen, very few carbs. While there are times I have been very hungry, I find I can eat less and less. First there is my issue of bolting food like a hungry dog. I don't think I ever realized how fast I ate. BOY WHAT A MISTAKE WITH THE BAND. Scrambled egg, bolted down, barely chewed. WHOA. I thought my freaking insides were about to explode. Nothing came up, nothing went down. I think I am so damn fat that when I am sitting down with the band my innards are kinked up and food won't go down. So, when I dont chew, it is pure misery. I had to get up and walk outside of a restaurant and put my hands in the air "this is a stickup" style. I looked like an idiot.
BUT WAIT...is that the last time I did that? Oh, no, not by a longshot. I've done it several times, all from mindless eating.
Here is my latest obsession:
I am going to have erosion, band slippage or some other situation with the band. What will I do? What are the alternatives? How? When? What? I seriously need to STOP!
Other than that, I can tell I have lost, my clothes are looser and I feel really good. IBS is the only problem I am having and I think it is from all the protein. I am trying to accept it as a way of keeping things moving!
