CynthiaLouisaJane
The Lapband Cometh
Nov 01, 2006
Yes, it's true. On December 14, I am getting the Lapband, or perhaps, the Lapband is getting me.
After all these years of hating my closet and all the different sizes in it, after being mooed at by rude boys and used by rude men, and being abused by catty women, I am potentially no longer going be the fattest person in the room at most times.
Now, that is just plain almost infathomable. Is that a word? Well, it is now. Anyway, me and Fat CJ are on a level playing field after December 14, as in more of CJ and less of Fat CJ. I asked God for a miracle, and it is here. The gift of being able to buy weight loss is tremendous. I am so grateful. I can't express the guilt I feel using my hard-earned money for something as expensive as a new Kia Rio. Believe me I have researched the things I could buy with this money if I were so inclined. But I already have a car. What I need to buy is a longer life to have more time to get my beautiful daughters out into the world and not nearly as screwed up as I am. On that note, here's a great example: Money can buy your way out of almost every situation, including being a compulsive overeater. It can buy you the band, new clothes and the therapy to go along with it. It cannot buy you happiness, but it can buy you a lot of crap that will make you happy. But in the end, only God can truly fill that longing inside of you for peace, light and grace. Hopefully instead of obsessing over food/fat and the like there will be no obsessing over plastic surgery and half pound weight loss. I am feeling very cynical about WLS today, however, very happy that it looms on the horizon.
