DeannaL
2006
Sep 22, 2009
2006!!!!!1/17/06: Wow, I just realized I hadn't updated my profile in a while. We had an awesome Christmas and New Years with the family. I enjoyed the time with my kids so much this year. It was just wonderful. I didn't have any problems with foods or cravings, and I was happy with that. My weight has continued to drop slowly over the holidays which is a good thing. I am currently 218 lbs. which means I've lost 106 lbs. I feel so fantastic. I am in a size 16 and I can shop in the regular women/ladies section, not in the Plus Size section. That is just so amazing to me. Not everything fits of course, but it is a start. I had a formal dinner dance to go to this past weekend and I put the dress on that I wore at the Convention, and it was TOO BIG!! I was happy, but had to scramble at the last minute to find something to wear. I eneded up wearing a dress that was my Mom's that she wore to my wedding!
I had some stomach pain over New Years which was horrible. I called UCLA and spoke with a doctor there. They gave me some more medication for an ulcer and they want me to get a scope done. I really, really, really do not want to be scoped. I just hate the idea of it, so I'm dragging my feet a little here. I have the referral to see the GI doctor but I haven't called yet. I have my 9 month follow up with my Primary Care doctor and with UCLA in February, just a few weeks away, so I may just wait and see how things go.
We are going to
Our family is going to
2/15/06: Yesterday I decided to wear a cute pink sweater with hearts on it for Valentine's Day. The funny thing is that this sweater was one I wore pre-op. I am now 9 months post op and down 109 lbs. I didn't think the sweater would be too big, but it was. I wore it anyways with another shirt under it. I was comfy and all day I had a goofy smile on my face. A few co workers were blown away when I held the shirt out and they saw how much room was there. I put the pictures up on my picturetrail too in the Valentine WOW photos.
I also have a new hair cut. My 5 yr old Amanda & I both got our hair cut. Amanda saw an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and they cut some people's hair to donate it to Locks For Love, an organization that makes hair pieces for cancer patients. She fell in love with the idea and wanted to do it, so after her persisting for weeks, we finally did it. She cut off all her hair so it could be donated. I got mine cut too, but didn't have enough to donate. I am so proud of her for doing this.
4/10/06: I just got back from an amazing weekend at
We are going camping in a few weeks at
I've been on a serious plateau for over 4 months, which really stinks. The scale has finally started moving down again. I am now at 211. I only have 12 pounds to go until the Onderfuls!!!! I am so excited for that! I bought some size 14 jeans and I got them on, but they are really tight.
I am having some serious sagging skin problems and I don't like it, but I would still do this all over again. I can cover sagging skin with clothing, but I was not very successful at covering 324lbs of bulk with clothing.
That is all for now.
4/25/06: I have been very bad about posting on the boards lately. I just don't have the time or energy, and I feel guilty about it. It is so strange how life just happens, and suddenly time seems to be flying by.
Things have been extremely hectic for me lately so I finally decided it was time to put it all down in writing. First of all, I've been having stomach pains and problems since December. December was the worst month, with a lot of vomiting and pain.
Then the vomiting subsided but the pain remained, on and off. I finally talked to UCLA about it in February and they wanted to do an endoscope to see what the problem might be. I was afraid of the endoscope procedure and I put it off. STUPID!!! I have had a prior history of going to the doctor and being told there was nothing wrong, so I was convinced that would happen this time too. Well I finally made the appointment to get the endoscope done, because the pain was just getting out of control. I had the endoscope done on April 17th. Just before that, on April 15th, I had a support group meeting. Monica (my support group leader) scared the crap out of me, by telling me that I don't have enough stomach to play around with a problem and that if not treated, a problem could lead to serious complications. So I went to the scheduled appointment on Monday, scared like a 4 yr old. It was no big deal at all. They put an IV in me, gave me some wonderful drugs, and the next thing I knew they were waking me up telling me it was time to go home. I felt nothing, except that I had a sore throat for about 4 days. They found a red area of concern in my stomach. They did a biopsy on it and I am waiting for the results. I am hoping it is just an ulcer or something minor that can be treated. I will be going for full lab work next week and then I have a follow up with my PCP and with UCLA in 3 weeks.
So on the other side of my life is another mess. A good mess, but still an emotional stressful mess. My husband has applied for and as far as we know right now, has been accepted for a job at Vandenberg Air Force Base in
My baby is going to turn 4 on Sunday. I can't believe it. I feel like time is flying so fast. I wish it would slow down so I can enjoy my children more. Maybe with this move I'll be able to spend more time with them. I still want another baby, but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for us.
We are taking the family to see the Disney movie "The Wild" on Saturday. It should be a lot of fun. We'll take the train down to
Still no change on the weight, which is very aggrivating. I need to do SOMETHING to kick it up.
I finally got to meet Marta! She had plastic surgery so I went to go visit her. I got to see Robyn, Mary Ann, Marta and another very nice lady from OH who wishes to remain nameless. Leann went with me and we had a nice time. Then we drove to the hospital to visit Missy. She is so ill, I feel so bad for her. She is having surgery today to see what they can do for her. I hope she will get better soon. I am so worried for her.
05/22/06: A lot has been going on this past month. We are definitly moving. My husband got the job so we are relocating and putting our house up for sale. It is kind of scary and exciting. All the details are falling into place, so that is good.
We went Camping at
My daughter Amanda fell at school and she had to go the ER and get stiches. She is ok but boy was I scared. I now know why I can no longer commute to work! I can't be that far away from my children anymore.
We went to my nephew's birthday party this weekend, and I went ice skating! It was so much fun! I couldn't believe that I could actually do it. I never even fell! It was great. My girls had a blast.
We are going camping this weekend (Memorial Day Weekend) with Dan's Brother and family, to go visit their Mom. It should be fun. We have so much to do thought, it would be nice to be home to get stuff done. Oh well, this will be our last weekend away together, and then Dan leaves for his new job. He'll be home on weekends, but it won't be the same.
On the weight loss front, things are stalled out STILL!!! I am on a huge plateau. I see UCLA this Thursday and I know they are going to yell at me for not losing any weight. This sucks.
6/23/06: Things have been so crazy for me these past few weeks. My house sold (yeah!) and is in escrow right now. My husband has been gone for a month now, coming home on the weekends. It has been very stressful for me and I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster. For the most part I feel ok, no stress, then whamo one moment I'm just crashing and falling into pieces. Today is a bad day, I've been crying all morning. There is so much to do, and I just can't do it all, and the fear of failing my family, my children, my work, my friends, it is just consuming me. Nobody really knows how I feel, I keep it all inside, trying to be superwoman. I feel cut off from my friends, especially from my OH friends, but I'm the one who is distancing myself. I'm eating like crap, not taking care of myself right, and suffering for it. I know I havent' been there, or been as supportive I should be for all the newbies, and pre-ops and post-ops out there, and again I feel consumed with guilt over it, like I'm not worthy to even be a part of OH anymore. I know things will get better soon, as soon as the next few weeks are over. I just keep focusing on that, and not on what it will take to get there.
7/2/06: Thank you so much to everyone who posted, called, inquired, or thought about me this week. I appreciate it so much more than you know.
I came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon. I'm feeling good, very little pain, just tired and weak. I'll meet with the surgeon this week for a follow up then continue with a Gastroenterologist to try and figure out what is going on with me.
Basically what happened, is that I woke up Tuesday morning with extreme pain in my left side, and my left shoulder. Didn't know if they were related. I thought maybe I pulled some muscles or something because I was helping shovel some concrete and heavy lifting last weekend. I also thought possible constipation/bowel problem so I did an enema and a Fleet Bowel prep, took some tylenol and rested. I called my PCP at 10am but the office said she wasn't in that day and I would have to go to their Extended/Urgent Care which opened at 2pm.
So I waited to see if things would get better, but they got worse. At 5pm I went to the Urgent Care. They assessed me and did some xrays and could see that I had air in the abdomenal cavity near my diagphram where it isn't supposed to be. They said that I needed to get to the hospital immediatealy and it couldn't wait, and that they were calling the paramedics. I FREAKED OUT. My husband is 3 hours away, but was out on a jobsite and was not reachable. My Mom was watching my daughters. I was inbetween health insurance with Hubby's old job and new job, and just FREAKED. I called my brother, and he came down and took me to the Hospital. The ER Doctor was wonderful, kind, and talked to me like a person, and talked about me like a person, not a clinical case. I heard him on the phone requesting a surgical team STAT, again I FREAKED. I heard him on the phone with UCLA (where I had my bypass) saying "no she is not stable enough to transport to your facility".
I didn't think I'd make it home. I knew I needed to stay calm, but I couldn't calm down. My brother stayed with me. I made him tell me stories of his recent trip to
I had a CAT Scan and then the surgeon came in sometime around 3am. My husband got there at the same time. The surgeon Dr. Castillo, was so nice. He said he was going to make a tiny hole, put in a camera and look around and hopefully find my leak and fix it. It seemed so simple. I wasn't scared anymore. I just wanted to get fixed up and get home. I was in surgery by 4am, and into my room around 8am (I think). I had an NG tube (totally sucked), a JP drain in my side, but I was ok, and alive.
They found a small 3mm perferation in my small intestine about 1 inch below where it connects to the new pouch. There was an ulcer which ruptured basically and was leaking into my abdomen. Dr. Castillo was easily able to repair it.
I had an easy hospital stay, everything was pretty routine, all my stats were good, and everything is working like it is supposed to. I'm having a little problem with my bowels but hopefully it will work itself out.
So for now I'm ok. Now the task is to find out why this happened, and what to do about it. I'm on a strict medicine routine, possibly for life.
Well, I'm tired and still need to work on my medicines.
Thank you again to all my wonderful OH Friends. Leann, my angel, thank you for the phone calls, the visits, the profect, the propel, and just for being there for me! Faith, Kristin, Dolly, Marta, thank you so much for the phone calls, they really picked up my spirits and made me feel cared about. Debbi thank you for the beautiful flowers, they brightened up my room!
7/10/06: Well I'm home and still recovering. I saw my PCP today but she didn't have much news. I got all my hospital records and I will be seing my surgeon from UCLA on Thursday. I also will be getting a referral to a Gastroenterologist. Hopefully someone can tell me what is going on and why this is happening. I'm still scared to death that it will continue, but at the same time I am so grateful for the awesome medical care I received and I am just glad to be alive.
My weight has been dropping, too rapidly these past 2 weeks. I was up to 219 the day of my surgery and now I'm 205, just 12 days later. Pretty scary. I'm thrilled about this jump off my plateau, but not the recommended way to do it.
I'm trying to stay calm in life, but that is very difficult to do with everything that is going on right now. We did decide to hire movers to come and pack and move us, so that is a big strain off me, but I still want to pack my own stuff, so the control freak in me is having an anxiety attack over this, which is exactly what I need to avoid.
7/13/06: Today is my Hubby's birthday, and we are apart. He is up north in our new home, and I'm still down in
I saw my surgeon at UCLA today, for a follow up to my emergency surgery (perferated ulcer in my small intestines). He said that given the pain I was in, he is not surprised it happened. I have to have another endoscope done, and in the meantime they added 2 more medications to my routine. Sor for now it is just "wait and see what happens". Either I'll heal and get better, or I won't. If I don't, then the plan is for them to go in and do a revision of my bypass, where they will cut out the ulcerated part of my intestines and bypass it, probably another 2 inches or so, and make a fresh connection to my pouch. I am not thrilled at the possiblity of another surgery.
I also was reading the 52 pages of lab tests and surgical reports that I copied for UCLA, and the CT scan I had done while in the ER, shows that I have a hernia. I asked my surgeon about it, he felt around and sure enough, I'm the proud owner of a new hernia. Well the good news is, it isn't causing me problems (yet), so I can wait on that for a while, and maybe work it into a tummy tuck.
The other good thing that has come out of this mess, is that I'm off my plateau, at least for now, so I'm officially down 119 lbs, and I have 35 lbs to go to goal. This isn't how I wanted to get there, but I'll take every pound I can get.
My advice to everyone out there is to learn to listen to your bodies and do not ignore pain, burning, discomfort, etc..... I did ignore my discomfort for a couple months because I thought I was being a whiney puss, and now I'm really sorry that I did.
I'll keep you all updated as things progress.
8/14/06: I can't believe it has been a month since I've been on the boards, or updated. We have officially moved to
My health is stable right now, not much pain anymore which is awesome. I am still waiting for the referral to get an endoscope. I have lost a few more pounds, so right now I'm at 202. That is 122 lbs gone! I still can't believe it. I feel good. I feel normal. It is so strange to go shopping or go places and not have people look at me strange or laugh at me. I enjoy life, which is such an inspiring thing in itself.
I still struggle with eating the wrong things. It was funny the other day I had a bad "munchies" day. I didn't eat poorly, but I WANTED to. I was struggling with my inner demons pretty hard. I told my Mom how hard of a day I was having and she was shocked. She just assumed since I'd lost all the weight, and have been doing so well, that it was easy for me now, and not a problem. I tried to explain that I'll always have the desires for the junk food, and to eat quantites of things I shouldn't. My brain is still the same as it was 100 lbs ago. It is how I react to those urges that has changed. She kept saying how shocked she was and how surprised that I'd even think about eating junk food. It just shows how anyone, even someone as close to me as my Mother, will never understand how I feel about food and eating issues.
8/31/06: I am settling in to life in
So the sad part is that Purr had to be put to sleep. I held him while it was done, I was crying hysterically afterwards. It was 2:15am by the time I was finished at the Vet. It was very foggy and the visibility was about 50 feet. I drove slowly because it was so foggy. Well I still hit 2 deer on my way home (at the same time) They just appeared out of the fog, standing in the middle of the road. I slammed on my brakes and skidded between them, and they bounced off the sides of my van. Such a horrible sound. I couldn't see inthe dark if they were ok, and it was so foggy that I couldnt' get out of the car for fear that another car would come and run me over. I called my husband who was at work, and I was shaking so badly. I drove back by the same spot the next morning and there were no injured or dead animals, so I'm just hoping that the poor deer are ok. My car is ok, so I'm hoping that they are too. What a crappy night. I got home at 3:30am, and went to bed at 4:30 am but couldnt' sleep. I finally got about 1 hour sleep before I had to wake up the girls and tell them about Purr. They are so upset and taking it pretty hard.
So other than that, I really love this small town. Everyone is really friendly. I am so happy here. On a physical note, I am having my Endoscope done next week, and hopefully they'll find that my tummy is healing nicely.
10/5/06: Well so much has been happening with us, it seems like we can never get a break. My father in law has cancer and we got a call about 3 weeks ago that he wasn't doing well. We drove to Frazier Park to visit him and he was very weak and wasn't getting in much nutrition. We drove an hour to get to a Vitamin Shoppe and Trader Joes. I bought him all kinds of protein drinks and chewable vitamins, etc.... I finally felt like my new found knowledge was useful and I could help. I guess it is just when you see someone you love in so much pain and you feel so helpless that you want to believe that you can help make it all better.
He was able to eat some of the protein stuff I brought, but not much. My husband (Dan) has visited him a few times, and we were able to bring the girls for a nice visit. They don't understand yet that it was their last visit with Grandpa. We got "the call" yesterday, so Dan went to say his goodbyes. It is so sad, and so hard. We just don't know how much longer it will be, but it is going to be only a day or two. I decided not to go, and to stay home with the little ones. I wish I could have gone too, to say my goodbyes, but I know that Dan needed to be free to go. This is so hard. I am reliving my loss of my own dad 5 years ago. Have I mentioned how much I HATE CANCER!!!!!?
So on top of this, my 4 yr old Shayna fell off the slide at her preschool and broke her arm. She is in a purple cast and fortunately she'll heal just fine, and she is not hindered or phased by having a cast at all. She has not complained once!
We are also struggling financially right now, which just makes things harder to deal with, and more filled with tension. I am trying to find a way out of our dilema, but I just haven't found the answer yet.
10/9/06: My Father In Law passed away on Friday. It is so sad. I feel so helpless for my husband. I can't even type too much about it, because it is just too hard.
Also I'm having a lot of stomach problems again, and I'm in constant pain. I don't have any idea what it is, but my imagination is making me crazy. I have an appointment with my surgeon at UCLA on Thursday, so hopefully that will help. I just want to be normal and live a good quality of life. I am so tired of being in pain all the time.
11/2/06: Well I saw the surgeon at UCLA, and they have decided that I need another surgery!!!! I can't believe this. So my surgery is going to be 11/7/06. I have so many emotions swirling through me right now. Ok, let's back up a little bit. First let me talk about Halloween, because I had such a wonderful time, despite my pain. My daughters were so darn cute in their princess costumes. I love Halloween in a small town. We did a birthday party on Saturday, then the school carnival on Sunday, I can't believe schools still do carnivals! It was awesome. Little Shayna won a cake and was so excited. Then we took them to a Spooky Trail on the base. They were scared but had fun. We just really had a good family weekend. It sucked because Jessie wasn't there, so we weren't complete. It was her 18th birthday and she spent it with her boyfriend. I have to admit, I understand that.
Also, Jessie got her drivers license!!! Yipee, she is finally independent. I think it will help her so much to feel free.
So, now back to my surgery. So I am trying to clear up things at work, trying to get all my ducks in a row so to speak. I went today for my pre-op and now I found out that on top of everything else I have a heart murmer. I don't even know what that is. They said it could be the cause of some of my dizziness and chest pains. So I need to watch it and see. But I'll still be having the surgery on Tuesday. It is going to be done laparscopic to start, but they may have to do it open if they can't find anything. I have no idea what they'll find, what they'll do, or what my recovery will be. Dan has to work, so he is just staying home with the kids, and I'll be in the hospital by myself. My Mom and brother will be with me the first day. I feel guilty about them driving down to UCLA to visit me every day, the drive sucks down there. I feel guilty admitting that I'll be scared and lonely and will want visitors, like it isn't ok to ask for help. Why is that? I can do so much for others, but can't ask for anything for myself.
I am scared, I try to not show it in front of my family. I cry when I'm alone. I don't want to die. I don't want to be in pain anymore. I want to enjoy my life with my family. I hate being so scared.
Well I'll have a lot on my mind this weekend, it is Dan's Dad's funeral on Saturday, then the bowel prep on Sunday, plus packing and getting ready for the surgery. I want to spend a quality day with my kids on Sunday (in between bathroom runs).
Well, wish me luck. I'll update more after my surgery.
12/8/06: Well it has been a long month. I had surgery 11/7/06 at UCLA. They found that my intestines were attached to my abdomenal wall on the left side, so they removed a lot of scar tissue and separated the intestines. They also found that my recent ulcer repair in my intestines, had formed a fistula into my liver, so they were growing together, so that was separated and repaired. I have 4 small incisions on my tummy, fortunately the surgery was done Laporscopic. For some reason I had a harder time recovering from this surgery. I went home the same day, which was completely awesome! I stayed at my Mom's house for a week. It was hard being away from my husband and children. This was the first time my husband wasn't there for me, and I know it was hard on him.
I improved day by dy, but then had major set backs, pain wise. Up until Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving day was a very painful day for me, but since then I've been doing better. I had one more bad day on 12/1, but since then, no more major pain, just occasional mild pain that Tylenol takes care of.
I am hoping and praying that my pain is over, and that I will continue to improve and regain my strength. That is the hardest part right now, I have no energy.
Next week is my 40th birthday, and I have a lot of emotions about that. I am happy that I am healthier than I have been in years, and at the same time, feeling the BIG 4 - 0 scares the poop out of me.
I am looking forward to a nice holiday season with my family, and just enjoying everything. I think the biggest thing for me is that I don't take anything for granted and I appreciate everyone in my life, every day.
I haven't been too active on the OH boards lately, but I do try and keep up with what is going on, and hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things.
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About Me
Lompoc, CA
Location
42.0
BMI
Surgery
05/10/2005
Surgery Date
Sep 13, 2004
Member Since
