Diana_T
Lot's of Stress
Jan 28, 2007
I have been going through some challenges the last few days. It was a real test of what I would do. I went to the fridge and opened it up I looked inside and said to myself " Well what are you going to do, you can't eat away the pain and stress." I knew I would get sick if I ate I just had lunch an hour before so I had to think of something else, I couldn't go for a walk for one thing it was snowing out, but even if it wasn't I couldn't leave my grandma alone. She had already fallen out of bed once and I had been watching her like a hawk ever since.
I just sat down and cried for a few minutes then i prayed. I got a glass of water with ice, not a water bottle but a nice pretty glass and I sipped. I thought about my family and were I was just 3 months ago and were I was now. I realized that me being worried and stress, me eating the entire contents of the fridge or crying a river of tears wouldn't fix what was going on so i admitted to God that I couldn't fix it and I thanked him for the fact that he was in control and I gave the situation to him. When I worry about things I will just give them to him. He is the one that heals and repairs things not me. So I won't fret. god is in control.
Later this evening Mark came over. Grandma wouldn't eat she was really tired so she went to bed around 7pm. i was trying to not worry to give it to God. I could feel tears coming on. I was sure Mark would make it worse by saying something dumb if I admitted that I was sad and woried about some stuff, but instead he rested his head on my shoulder and gave me little kisses on my cheek and then just cuddled me. it was so great. We sat together and didn't really talk to much. He just held me and told me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me and how thankful he was that I would go through all I have been through to live longer , so I could take care of all of the people in my life that love and need me.
This was so empowering, so touching. I love this man so much. It is so strange my husband is this big macho Marine. Not the most sensative guy around, yet god gave him the words that I needed to hear. I am so very grateful to God for all he has blessed me with may he continue to keep all of us in his devine care.
I just sat down and cried for a few minutes then i prayed. I got a glass of water with ice, not a water bottle but a nice pretty glass and I sipped. I thought about my family and were I was just 3 months ago and were I was now. I realized that me being worried and stress, me eating the entire contents of the fridge or crying a river of tears wouldn't fix what was going on so i admitted to God that I couldn't fix it and I thanked him for the fact that he was in control and I gave the situation to him. When I worry about things I will just give them to him. He is the one that heals and repairs things not me. So I won't fret. god is in control.
Later this evening Mark came over. Grandma wouldn't eat she was really tired so she went to bed around 7pm. i was trying to not worry to give it to God. I could feel tears coming on. I was sure Mark would make it worse by saying something dumb if I admitted that I was sad and woried about some stuff, but instead he rested his head on my shoulder and gave me little kisses on my cheek and then just cuddled me. it was so great. We sat together and didn't really talk to much. He just held me and told me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me and how thankful he was that I would go through all I have been through to live longer , so I could take care of all of the people in my life that love and need me.
This was so empowering, so touching. I love this man so much. It is so strange my husband is this big macho Marine. Not the most sensative guy around, yet god gave him the words that I needed to hear. I am so very grateful to God for all he has blessed me with may he continue to keep all of us in his devine care.
3 months out!
Jan 26, 2007
I down loaded a new picture today! I guess I have lost some weight and I guess I need to buy some clothes that fit. Nothing lets you know how you look until you look at a photo. From 323lbs to 261lbs.
Just hanging out.
Jan 25, 2007
I am at my parents house this weekend to watch my grandma. They went on a cruise. She has alzheimers and is no longer able to care for herself or get around. I love being with her.
It is really weird she is no longer my grandma, but we get along really well and she usually enjoys being with me. I love to play silly games and we sing old hymns and we talk about things that others would probably find silly and some days I just sit and hold her hand or just cuddle her like she's a little girl. Today she said she was seven and wanted her mom to come home. I told her, her mom hired me to come watch her and we could play a game. We played pick up sticks, we colored and we played a strange version of war with cards and also stacked dominos. It was a good day.
It is weird though I have put her onto a GB patients eating routine. It has been really easy to eat well when it is just her and I. There is no one eating foods that make me wonder why I had this surgery. Well I better go I have to go check on her she is being realy quiet.
It is really weird she is no longer my grandma, but we get along really well and she usually enjoys being with me. I love to play silly games and we sing old hymns and we talk about things that others would probably find silly and some days I just sit and hold her hand or just cuddle her like she's a little girl. Today she said she was seven and wanted her mom to come home. I told her, her mom hired me to come watch her and we could play a game. We played pick up sticks, we colored and we played a strange version of war with cards and also stacked dominos. It was a good day.
It is weird though I have put her onto a GB patients eating routine. It has been really easy to eat well when it is just her and I. There is no one eating foods that make me wonder why I had this surgery. Well I better go I have to go check on her she is being realy quiet.
Today is a new day!
Jan 20, 2007
Well today is a new day! I am not acting crazy I have my head on straight. I went to see Dr. Marymor yesterday I weighed 261, thats right 261 from 323. How many lbs is that? 62 wow.
thats 49 since my WLS . I did 13 of those pre-op. I am still amazed that the scale keeps going down. I have decided to only weigh my self once a week instead of once and hour.
Ha Ha I can't beleive you can gain 2 lbs in just an hour but you can. I gained 7 lbs in the shower the other day. New rule, I will never weigh myself right after a shower again. It was horrifing!
My surgeon told me he would most likely not be staying with Barix Clinics. Because they want to get away from the open RNY they are going toward the Lap surgeries because they can charge more. I am so sad I can't stand it. He is the best physisian ever. I chose to have the open procedure because i just felt more comfortable with him seeing everything more clearly and also for the fact that I had read of so many complications with different Lap surgeries. I don't have factual proof but i know I have read of many complications even though small still complicated. I am very happy with the open procedure. I will only recommend the best surgeon in our area and in my opionion that is Dr. Marymor.
I guess I will step off of my soap box now. I had said I was going to quit my job, but they have offered me more money, I found someonelse to care for my grandmother and I think I will stay. I really am a bit of a dicision making flop. I hate to make the wrong choice. It took me 3 years to decide to have WLS and it was the smartest thing I've ever done. I am a mess. I will have my daughter take a more recent picture of me so you all can see the weight change. I still don't see it, but everyone at church this morning was raving about it. You can judge for yourselves.
thats 49 since my WLS . I did 13 of those pre-op. I am still amazed that the scale keeps going down. I have decided to only weigh my self once a week instead of once and hour.
Ha Ha I can't beleive you can gain 2 lbs in just an hour but you can. I gained 7 lbs in the shower the other day. New rule, I will never weigh myself right after a shower again. It was horrifing!
My surgeon told me he would most likely not be staying with Barix Clinics. Because they want to get away from the open RNY they are going toward the Lap surgeries because they can charge more. I am so sad I can't stand it. He is the best physisian ever. I chose to have the open procedure because i just felt more comfortable with him seeing everything more clearly and also for the fact that I had read of so many complications with different Lap surgeries. I don't have factual proof but i know I have read of many complications even though small still complicated. I am very happy with the open procedure. I will only recommend the best surgeon in our area and in my opionion that is Dr. Marymor.
I guess I will step off of my soap box now. I had said I was going to quit my job, but they have offered me more money, I found someonelse to care for my grandmother and I think I will stay. I really am a bit of a dicision making flop. I hate to make the wrong choice. It took me 3 years to decide to have WLS and it was the smartest thing I've ever done. I am a mess. I will have my daughter take a more recent picture of me so you all can see the weight change. I still don't see it, but everyone at church this morning was raving about it. You can judge for yourselves.
Just a thought!
Jan 16, 2007
Yesterday I ate like a crazy person! For breakfast I had 1/2 a cup of skim milk.
I didn't eat again until 12:45, I had 1tsp of tuna salad, 1 tsp of cottage cheese, and a chunk of pinapple. I them waited until 5 pm to eat 1/2 a cup of chicken and then I finally started to drink my water. I went home and made dinner for my family. Ground Beef, Mushrooms and whole grain pasta. So at 9 pm I decided to eat a 1/2 cup of the groundbeef with mushrooms and 2 pasta peices.
Well let me tell you, I will never eat Beef again. I will be more careful about what I choose to eat and how I eat. I felt terrible and my stomach hurt until lunch, the next day.
I figure I have about 8 more months to develop the habits that I need to get and stay healthy. no one can do this for me and I am the one responsible for my health. I am the only one who can make my life better. I have to take this gift of surgery and make it work for me.
I know why I was so crazy yesterday, it was the stress of leaving my job and trying to get everything in order before I leave. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
They are begging me to stay and have offered me a significant pay increase, but the job is stressful and My Grandma needs me. I have to get through this and I hope I make the right decision.
This websight has become very theraputic for me. If you have any comments or advice I would appriciate an email.
Diana
I didn't eat again until 12:45, I had 1tsp of tuna salad, 1 tsp of cottage cheese, and a chunk of pinapple. I them waited until 5 pm to eat 1/2 a cup of chicken and then I finally started to drink my water. I went home and made dinner for my family. Ground Beef, Mushrooms and whole grain pasta. So at 9 pm I decided to eat a 1/2 cup of the groundbeef with mushrooms and 2 pasta peices.
Well let me tell you, I will never eat Beef again. I will be more careful about what I choose to eat and how I eat. I felt terrible and my stomach hurt until lunch, the next day.
I figure I have about 8 more months to develop the habits that I need to get and stay healthy. no one can do this for me and I am the one responsible for my health. I am the only one who can make my life better. I have to take this gift of surgery and make it work for me.
I know why I was so crazy yesterday, it was the stress of leaving my job and trying to get everything in order before I leave. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
They are begging me to stay and have offered me a significant pay increase, but the job is stressful and My Grandma needs me. I have to get through this and I hope I make the right decision.
This websight has become very theraputic for me. If you have any comments or advice I would appriciate an email.
Diana
January 2007 A New Year a new life!
Jan 06, 2007
Life is beginning to look up! I just can't beleive all of the changes in my life. I am going to leave the job I have had for 15 years and begin to care for my ill Grandmother. I am so excited about it! I will have more time for my girls and for Mark, my husband. I will have more time for several members of my parish that are shut in and need extra help, not to mention more time for ME!
I am a care giver that is what I do. Now it is time to give "Diana" some of that care and I am in a place were I can leave my JOB and get to work.
I will miss my coworkers and my reisidents but I will still be able to visit them and help them in more ways.
I have lost 49lbs. I feel lighter I wear smaller clothes, and I feel good. I look at the Before and After pictures of my friends and others in the Photo Section and I can't imagine it will happen for me, but I have hope, for the first time in a long time. If I can figure out how to upload a photo I will do so, but I seem to be an idiot when it comes to technology.
I am a care giver that is what I do. Now it is time to give "Diana" some of that care and I am in a place were I can leave my JOB and get to work.
I will miss my coworkers and my reisidents but I will still be able to visit them and help them in more ways.
I have lost 49lbs. I feel lighter I wear smaller clothes, and I feel good. I look at the Before and After pictures of my friends and others in the Photo Section and I can't imagine it will happen for me, but I have hope, for the first time in a long time. If I can figure out how to upload a photo I will do so, but I seem to be an idiot when it comes to technology.
About Me
Kinzer, PA
Location
33.2
BMI
Oct 29, 2006
Member Since
