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Well it looks like the gall bladder monster got me. About two weeks ago I woke up with a sharp pain on the right side. I  brushed it off because the next morning my daughter was having gall bladder surgery and my mind was on her. Well last Monday the pain started again. Thinking it would go away I hit the road for the week. The pain was off and on till Wednesday and Thursday I had a bad headache. So I went to the Dr. on Friday and had an ultra sound done today. I've got stones. So Friday I will go see the surgeon. I am hoping they will wait till after Easter. You see I am putting on the Easter egg hunt I have 520 Easter eggs and not to mention the Easter Bunny is coming. I think I can put up with not feeling well for another two weeks. As long as the pain doesn't come back I can handle the sick to my stomach and dizziness. I new when I had the surgery that this was one of the side effect of the surgery. And I did expect it to happen. It is just not the best timing. Other then the gall bladder I feel really good. I am staying between 173 and 175 and that is just fine with me. I've really started working out and trying to tone more then anything. It is amazing how good it feels to work out now. I am running a little more each time. The scale isn't moving but I feel my body is looking better. I will always have sagging skin but I don't think it looks that bad as long as the lights are off. Just kidding. Maybe next year I will look into a tummy tuck and even a boob lift. Who knows.  I do feel that using baby oil and lotion after my shower has helped a great deal. I am in a size 12. I really don't think it matters what size I get into or how much the scale says. I think it is about where do I feel good at. And I really think I have found the spot. I think if I lost much more I would start looking to skinny and sick. I still say this has been an amazing journey.

It is hard to believe it has been 8 months sense my surgery. How things have changed.
A couple of weeks ago my company had their Christmas party. There were a lot of people that hadn't seen or even new I had surgery.  The looks I got when I walked in the door was priceless. How I wish I could of taken a picture of some peoples faces. One thing I noticed was that some of the women that would normally talk to me, didn't want anything to do with me. Some of the men that never said two words to me had no problem trying to talk to me know. To me that is very sad. I keep saying I am still the same person that I was before just I have gone green with smaller packaging. I danced the night away and had a great time. My back didn't hurt from dancing and I felt amazing.
On Tuesday I was stuck in Fargo, ND so I decided to go shopping. I have to say I shop a lot more then I ever have. Guess because my clothes keep getting to big for me. Thank god for clearance racks. I only have two pairs of jeans and two pairs of dress slacks at a time. I am not buying a whole new set of clothes yet because it seems like I am not done shrinking. I was down to one pair of jeans that fit and they are starting to get to big. So my goal for the day was to find a cheap pair of jeans. I tried on a size 14 and they fit but I thought I might be able to wear a size 12. What the heck might was well try. They might be a little tight but let's see how tight. I went and got a size 12 and OMG!! they fight! Not to tight just right. I was in shock and smiling from ear to ear. I can not tell you how good that felt. I have not been a size 12 sense I had kids. Of course I had to text message my best friend from the fitting room to tell her the news. I can no longer shop in the big girl section because I am to small. Okay wait did I just say that. It is so hard to believe it. I still catch myself wondering over there to look at clothes then realize I can not wear any of these sizes. I am down to a large or med. shirt. The bad news or maybe the good news is I have no clothes for this summer. I can't start buying clothes for the summer because I am not sure what size I will be yet.
Tonight I have a first date and I will be wearing my new jeans. Dating is a whole different story. Could someone please tell me the rules to dating. I haven't dated in over 12 years. I am finding this to be one of the hardest changes in my life right now. I am always up front and let the person know I had weight lose surgery in May. I am not ashamed of it I am proud that I decided to change my life for the better. I just have a hard time knowing what to do and what not to do. Do you call? Do you not call? When do you call? When is it okay to kiss? How to handle complements. Is it okay to date more then one person at a time? Or when is not okay to see someone else? It is just crazy. I have never had so much attention from men in my whole life and I am not use to it. I think that people are seeing me now as I always saw myself. The outside looks like the person I know I was all along on the inside.
Last year was an amazing year and this year will even be a more amazing.
Have a great day.

Desiree

Last night I went to check out the after Christmas sales. Thought I would just try on a size 14. What the heck give it a try.  I can not believe it but they fit. I am now a size 14. Before the surgery I was a size 26 or a tight 24. I even tried on a pair of Carharts that were 34x30 and they fit. This just amazes me. Sometimes I catch my reflection in a mirror or window and I have to look twice to see who that person is. Today I had a girl that I barely even know tell me I had a nice butt.  Did I ever turn red. It seems like I blush a lot easier then I use to. It is hard to get use to all the attention. My company Christmas party is coming up January 16th and there are some people at work that haven't seen me sense my surgery. That should be an interesting night. I have never had a date for the Christmas party and I am hoping that I can find one this year. It would be so nice to show up with a nice man on my arm. We will have to see how that goes. If not I am sure I will have a good time and cut a rug or two. I never thought I would feel this good again. But I feel amazing. What a great year. What an amazing year.

I can't believe it. I just lost 100 pounds. It feels so amazing. My life has changed so much, all for the better. I am on cloud nice today. THis has been the best year of my life and next year will only be better. I want to thank everyone for all there support I couldn't of done it without you. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Today I went to get my hair cut. I decided I was ready to change the hair style that I have been sporting for way to long. You know I was more scared on my way to the hair dresser then I was the day I had my surgery. I just started thinking about how things where six months ago before I had my surgery and how things have changed. Or should I say I have changed. I still feel like the same perosn on the inside but on the outside I sure I am not the same person. Was I really ready for on more big change? I had to ask myself. Was I ready to give up the look I have had for over 10 years? I keep telling my friends I look the same. I still thought I looked like the same person. So I got my hair cut, colored and highlighted. Something I had never done, But I thought I deserved it. I have to say I love the new hair. After my hair appointment I was scheduled to get my six month pictures done. My friend Jen took my pictures before my surgery. I am really big in to taking pictures. After we took the pictures she pulled up the before pictures and put the before and the six month pictures next to each other. I have to tell you I started to cry. I look so different. I look at my before picture and I don't look that happy. Although I thought I was happy. Was I really happy? I was trapped in a body that hurt and could hardly mover or bend over. It could no longer do what I was asking it to do. I wonder how much longer I could of gone on. Then I look at my six month picture and I look happy I look healthy. My body can move it doesn't hurt. Well my toe hurts today because I dropped a big clock on it and broke it, but other then that I don't hurt like I use to. I'm a really that person I see in that picture? I am amazed at how I look and all of the changes. I still sit here with a tear in my eyes. Are they happy tears or sad tears?  I did this to myself. I let myself get so big that I was killing myself. I think it is mixed tears. How could I do that to myself? The good thing is I was willing to do something for myself and make the changes. It just amazes me how much my looks have changed and how could I not see it. I look at myself everyday and never thought I looked that different. Boy was I wrong. I could not make it through this journey without my friends and family. And I owe a big thank you to all my OH friends. This has been a great day but an eye opening day.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and the show was about over weight kids. Dr. Phil had a 10 year olds parents on the show and showed them what the child should weigh at a normal 10 year weight. Dr. Phil said a 10 year old should weigh 85 pounds. Now I was really thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. I have lost a 10 year old girl. WOW!!! Just think about carry a 10 year old around all day long with you. That is crazy and it blows my mind. How did I do that?

Today was a very big day. I dropped UNDER 200 pounds today. I can not remember the last time this happened. I had to look at the scale twice to make sure it was right. OMG!!!!! It sure feels good. This weekend I went through my closet and drawers again and pulled out 2 more bags of clothes for my yard sale next summer. I need to sell my clothes so I can buy new clothes. Last week I went over to my daughters house and she gave me some of her clothes that she no longer wears or wants. I sat there trying not to look excited, but inside I was thinking. DAM I am getting clothes from my daughter never thought this would happen. I smiled and laughed all the way home. I am not sure that she felt that great about the whole thing. I see my shadow and it looks so small. In two weeks I am going to go get my six month pictures taken. I am also going to get my hair colored, highlighted and cut, something I haven't done for years. Not sure how I am going to get it cut yet. I think I am going to go with something new and different. Something that will make me look younger. I will post pictures so everyone can see. What a day. What a year. Life is good.

Today I went shopping to pass sometime while I am in Little Rock working. Thank goodness they are having amazing sales. OMG!! Sears is having crazy sales. Any ways I keep finding myself going to the big girl section. Where things are getting to big for me.  while I was walking around the mall i went by a OLD Navy store, I have always wished I could get  clothes from them.  I decided to go in and see if just maybe I could wear something. Guess what? I can shop at Old Navy now. I was so excited I had to call my daughter and tell her. I know it sounds crazy but I can walk into most stores now and buy something to wear. What a great feeling. Not to feel like an out cast because the store does not carry my size. There are so many more choices and styles. I love clothes and shoes. I just don't want to buy to many but I don't feel bad when I get them on sale. I got some stuff at Sears for $2.99. I had to get another belt to hold up my pants.

Today I had my three month check up. Yes I am one month late due to work. It was a good visit I guess. The only thing that really bothered me is they said I had only lost 44% of my excess weight. I could not see myself loosing 100% of my excess weight. There wouldn't be anything left of me if I lost 100%. The ideal weight for someone my height is 134 pounds. To me that would be to skinny. I am not sure you can really go by all these scales, graphs, and what Miss Jones weighs down the street. For me my ideal weight will be when I feel comfortable not to skinny not to heavy just right. Who makes all those graph and scales. I bet it was some man back in the day that needed glasses and a brain. All and all the visit went well.

It is hard to believe that four months ago today I was laying in the hospital in a lot of pain. Wondering what I had just done to myself, Not sure if I had done the right thing. Trying to get out of bed and walk the halls or should I say just walk to the door. I could barely  make it to the bathroom but how I pushed myself to get out of bed and walk. Here I am four months later better then ever. Off all my meds working out on a regular bases down 70+ pounds. I still have another 50 lbs to go but I have come a long way. I try not to stress out over how much weight I have or haven't lost. One day at a time is all I can do. Some days are better then other days but I am moving in the right direction. Life is good.