Gina F.
Tired, Very Emotional, and full of anticipation!
Aug 30, 2008
Wow, what a roller coaster week it has been. First, I should say that it is midnight, so I can't claim that any of this will make any sense...
Friday, I went to my pre-op with Dr. Dennen in Fremont @ Kaiser. My appt. lasted about 2 hours!!! I went in with a ton of questions, scenarios, statements, and even more complex questions. My DH thinks that Dr. D respects me for all of my research and written out data and questions. I think he was at the very least extremely patient with me. He was personal, thoughtful, and very descriptive with me.
I should remind everyone that I went in not knowing "for sure" which surgery was right for me. I had "signed up for LB" at my consultation many months ago with Dr. D. But, had had some serious doubts about the long term data, reliability, and what my chances for long term success were over the past months. I just have to say that being of a "lower" wt. even with co-mobilities at the final hour here only makes it emotionally more difficult to decide what to do! First, you have people doubting your decision, having their "expert really no nothing" opinions about me having WLS at all. it is especially difficult if you are a overly sensitive kind of girl like me who tries my best to not let what others say get to me... but it always does!
Then to make the the right long term decision for myself at all is difficult , becasue I know it will be more #1 A even bigger surgery, #2 An even bigger lifestyle change for me, & #3 a longer recovery time from the surgery.
Ok, so the decision is made. Do I fear I have made the wrong decision? No, I REALLY have faith in my surgeon, his opinion, my DH opinion, and especially in my instincts that were nagging at me telling me that LB for some reason was not for me...
Am I scared? Hell Yes!!! Why well, becasue I have had major surgery 9 hour procedure in 2000. I did great in my recovery & even looking back it did not seem so bad. The difference is my body subconsciously knows I am about to put it through a trauma. I may not feel too much due to meds, but my body knows something is BIG is coming! Plus, I have children now...3 beautiful girls and one of them is a "special angel" sent to us by God to care for. I am so scared that if something was to happen to me...then well... you can just imagine the tears as a woman (a PMSing woman) at that running down my face right now. I have cried 3 times now today. Once becasue of thinking of my fears, once because of some sad parts in the movie "I am Legend" (I bawled like a baby) and now writing this. Gosh! I do not know if this is really normal or if the combo of PMS and the pre-surgery jitters are getting to me. But, all I know is I am over doing everything. I have "spring cleaned" the house with a vengeance, gotten very little rest, had a yard sale yesterday and tomorrow I am going to do it all again!!! I think I just need some valium and take it easy for the next few days before the surgery (probably won't knowing me)!
So, doubts? YES! Excited? YES! Feel blessed? Yes! Feel tired? Yes!
Wish maybe that I was a little bit more "private" with who I tell or have told about my WLS? Heck Yes! Why, because what people say right now, no matter how much I think their comments are unwanted, uninvited, and said with lack of any knowledge as to what they are talking about...still get under my skin and worry me.
Examples:
1.) You are not big enough to have WLS!
2.) I am surprised you could even find a surgeon to operate on you at your size!!!
3.) RNY!!! OMG that is so dangerous I have 3 friends that have had that and they all have serious problems!
4.) You have lost wt. why don't you just diet and loose some more?
5.) I beg you not to do that surgery, I am in the medical field and they are getting ready to phase out that surgery it is so dangerous (this one I heard today I wanted laugh and cry at the same time...I just said nothing...it was not worth it to try to argue with someone who knows nothing and pretends to know everything)!!!!
I am sure others have heard similar comments or different. But, the fact is that no matter how tough you are, people can be irritating even when they are trying to be caring...
OK enough of the ---ching! I am fine, should go to bed now.
This is an amazing site, each of you have been amazing. Thank you for wishing me luck, keeping me in your prayers, always being so positive!
I will try to blog more often now and after the surgery so I can look back later and say..."Look at how scared I was! And for what? I did great"!
Gina
Friday, I went to my pre-op with Dr. Dennen in Fremont @ Kaiser. My appt. lasted about 2 hours!!! I went in with a ton of questions, scenarios, statements, and even more complex questions. My DH thinks that Dr. D respects me for all of my research and written out data and questions. I think he was at the very least extremely patient with me. He was personal, thoughtful, and very descriptive with me.
I should remind everyone that I went in not knowing "for sure" which surgery was right for me. I had "signed up for LB" at my consultation many months ago with Dr. D. But, had had some serious doubts about the long term data, reliability, and what my chances for long term success were over the past months. I just have to say that being of a "lower" wt. even with co-mobilities at the final hour here only makes it emotionally more difficult to decide what to do! First, you have people doubting your decision, having their "expert really no nothing" opinions about me having WLS at all. it is especially difficult if you are a overly sensitive kind of girl like me who tries my best to not let what others say get to me... but it always does!
Then to make the the right long term decision for myself at all is difficult , becasue I know it will be more #1 A even bigger surgery, #2 An even bigger lifestyle change for me, & #3 a longer recovery time from the surgery.
Ok, so the decision is made. Do I fear I have made the wrong decision? No, I REALLY have faith in my surgeon, his opinion, my DH opinion, and especially in my instincts that were nagging at me telling me that LB for some reason was not for me...
Am I scared? Hell Yes!!! Why well, becasue I have had major surgery 9 hour procedure in 2000. I did great in my recovery & even looking back it did not seem so bad. The difference is my body subconsciously knows I am about to put it through a trauma. I may not feel too much due to meds, but my body knows something is BIG is coming! Plus, I have children now...3 beautiful girls and one of them is a "special angel" sent to us by God to care for. I am so scared that if something was to happen to me...then well... you can just imagine the tears as a woman (a PMSing woman) at that running down my face right now. I have cried 3 times now today. Once becasue of thinking of my fears, once because of some sad parts in the movie "I am Legend" (I bawled like a baby) and now writing this. Gosh! I do not know if this is really normal or if the combo of PMS and the pre-surgery jitters are getting to me. But, all I know is I am over doing everything. I have "spring cleaned" the house with a vengeance, gotten very little rest, had a yard sale yesterday and tomorrow I am going to do it all again!!! I think I just need some valium and take it easy for the next few days before the surgery (probably won't knowing me)!
So, doubts? YES! Excited? YES! Feel blessed? Yes! Feel tired? Yes!
Wish maybe that I was a little bit more "private" with who I tell or have told about my WLS? Heck Yes! Why, because what people say right now, no matter how much I think their comments are unwanted, uninvited, and said with lack of any knowledge as to what they are talking about...still get under my skin and worry me.
Examples:
1.) You are not big enough to have WLS!
2.) I am surprised you could even find a surgeon to operate on you at your size!!!
3.) RNY!!! OMG that is so dangerous I have 3 friends that have had that and they all have serious problems!
4.) You have lost wt. why don't you just diet and loose some more?
5.) I beg you not to do that surgery, I am in the medical field and they are getting ready to phase out that surgery it is so dangerous (this one I heard today I wanted laugh and cry at the same time...I just said nothing...it was not worth it to try to argue with someone who knows nothing and pretends to know everything)!!!!
I am sure others have heard similar comments or different. But, the fact is that no matter how tough you are, people can be irritating even when they are trying to be caring...
OK enough of the ---ching! I am fine, should go to bed now.
This is an amazing site, each of you have been amazing. Thank you for wishing me luck, keeping me in your prayers, always being so positive!
I will try to blog more often now and after the surgery so I can look back later and say..."Look at how scared I was! And for what? I did great"!
Gina
About Me
Sacrametnto, CA
Location
22.2
BMI
Surgery
09/18/2008
Surgery Date
Aug 13, 2008
Member Since
