Happymomma

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Happy new year and new me!  So I haven't checked the scale but I did just do my measurements and wow was I surprised!  I lost 1.5in waist, 3in hips, 1in chest, .5in thigh!   I am just so excited!  This definately helps to keep me motivated.  Also, I was on the vitalady.com website and found out I shouldn't be mixing my protein with milk because it is formulated to help bodybuilers and athletes gain weight when mixed with milk.  So I drank it this morning in my water and it tasted good.  I didn't even have the slight after taste so I guess this was a good finding.  I go for my first post-op visit on Monday and I am very anxious to mind out what he has to say.  I am also looking forward to going to my first support group meeting and seeing others who are going through the same things as me.  My goal for today is to get in a mile walk.  Maybe I will surprise myself and do 2!  Til Next Time: Today is my second chance to choose differently!

So today I have had it.  The scale is going into the corner "bad scale" and I am only going to weigh myself on Mondays.  i have become obsessed with checking my weight, one, two, three times a day.  I have even gotten up in the middle of the night to get a drink and went into the bathroom to take a quick peak.  I know this is wrong. I know your weight fluctuates throughout the day and everyday. I know I shouldn't check, but I just can't help it.  The weight came off so easily the first week.  I lost 13 pounds!  Now I have been stuck at 275.  I weighed myself this morning and had lost a pound, then went back at lunch and had gained .2 which put me back at 275 exactly.  I had just had lunch....HELLO.  So I am putting it away and will not get on it if it is no Monday.  My wedding ring is getting loser and I can turn it around with my thumb. It never budged b4, so I know I am doing good, I just need to remember that success not only comes on the scale but also in all the little changes I notice.  So here's to a new outlook and a new promise to myself to measure all non-scale measurements as well, and with the same credit and pride as I do when I lose a pound, ounce, etc. 

*Today is my second chance to make a different choice!

Ok so I started out good today.  The candy is gone..thanks to the kids not me for once, and I start everyday fresh and new.  I drank my 2 protein shakes and had a decent lunch, but dinner is another story.  We went to Texas Roadhouse to eat.  I ordered BBQ chicken breast and a potato.  I only had 1/2 a roll, and 4 cheese fries.  Very good for me.  I only ate about 3oz of chicken and 1/2 potato so again not bad, but then I ate some of the kiddos cheese fries.  I had about 10.  Which if you look at it on the bright side, that is a WHOLE lot less than usual, so I am going to look at it that way.  This journey is alot harder than I thought it would be.  I should only be eating mushies right now, but found out I can tolerate pretty much anything, and that alone is scary.  I remember the NUT saying, after surgery will be the time to show us how dedicated you are to this process and using your tool the right way, but that is easier said then done. My stomach feels just like it did before I had surgery. I am trying my best to use my tool the right way and limit what I eat and try to eat healthier and alot less, but lets face it, if I could do that without this "tool" then I wouldn't have needed it to begin with.  I will continue to push my self and never give up, but I am definitely looking forward to getting my first fill and having more help from my band. Til next time: Today is a second chance for me to choose differently!

Ok so xmas was not a good eating day for me.  I ate way to much and seemed to graze all day long.  I ate junk too.  cookies and chips and pie and brownies.  OMG.  I wish I hadn't tried them to "see" if I could tolerate it, because I now know I can eat pretty much anything and that is the scary part.  Now I know I have to do the right thing and eat the right way because that is what is going to get me to goal.  I also noticed that when I eat the carbs I don't even get full.  They just leave me wanting more and more.  When I eat high protein things like my refried beans, I feel full quickly and satisfied.  Thats what I have to remember.  There is no satisfaction in eating something that tastes good but doesn't provide anything else.  I keep eating them looking for that "feeling" and will eat and eat until I do.  Now that I have realized this, I need to make sure I follow it. I am off to get my protein shakes!

OK, so it has been really hard the first several days.  I watch others eat and I feel anger.  We had a xmas party yesterday at work and everyone was going on and on about how they were going to start eating heathier via the new year and was just stuffing themselves with brownies, fudge, chips and salsa, and my weakness mac and cheese.  I did risk it and I ate some mac and cheese.  I'm sure I had atleast 1/2 cup, then also had 2 small brownies throughout the day and 1 sm. piece of fudge.  I have been so hungry and it felt good not to hear my tummy rumble all day long.  I got everything down just fine, which also scares me cause I know i could cheat and go back to eating the wrong foods and it becomes a battle between the new me and the old me.  I woke up today and did eat only 2 oz of mac and cheese and I am not choosing it any more today.  I feel good today and I am taking advantage of it.  I am going to the library and I am going to make sure I park farther out.  I'm down 10 pounds and my hubby today called me "skinny"   Haven't heard that in a long time.  He said he could already see a difference in my "junk in the trunk!"  I want to keep some of my "junk" I will just choose to keep the healthier more toned version!

My re-birthday!  Dec. 14, 2009.  I was so excited, nervous, and fearful all at once.  I have wanted to get the band for a long time, but kept putting it off.  I did weight watchers, "dieted", saw a nutritionist, and even had a personal trainer at one time.  All of these were successful to a degree, but were always short lived.  I knew I needed help in achieving my weightloss goal.  Having 2 friends in my MOMII group have such success, I decided to look more into this option.  After going through every emotion, I decided this was for me.  I needed a new "tool" to help my reach my goals.  The bottom line came when I went to Holiday World with my kids.. triplets Bella, Lexie, Rich 7 and Anna 5.  The triplets begged me to go on the liberty launch with them.  Finally I agreed and stood in line for 20 min. worrying about not fitting in the seat.  I looked at other heavy people to see if they fit, and was convinced I would be OK.  Well, I wasn't.  I didn't fit.  Two young men were trying their best to push down the bar so I could go on the ride, but nothing worked.  After what seemed like 10 min (more like 2) I told them it was OK and got off the ride....HUMILIATED.  At first I tried to tell my kids I got scared and that was why I did not ride it, but they saw what was going on.  Once the ride ended and I saw their face and how disappointed they were, I knew I needed to make a change.  A few weeks later I contacted my weight loss center and started the process.  I was like a kid on Xmas morning when Misty called to tell me it was approved.  I was so happy and relieved and thankful.  I know this is going to be a long and hard journey, but I WILL SUCCEED.  There is no other way for it to end.  Today is my chance to choose differently, and I am choosing to love myself and put me first for once!