Hokulani

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OMG!! I'm 3 Lbs away from loosing 100LBS!! My weight loss has slowed a bit since my scope and fix last week. and I think that's how it was suppose to be. I'm no longer loosing a pound and a half a day more like every 2-3 days now. I do have a little more energy and always trying to remember my multi-vitamin and trying to get enough protein can be hard some days. I get sick and tired of the same old crap. 2 bottles of lean body a day your taste buds start to tell you "oh god, do we have to drink this again? can't you find something else?" It sucks, find back ups you will need them if your anything like me. My biggest challenge (and I'm sure it will be for you all too) Is this up coming Thanksgiving day. I will cook like I always do but just limit myself in what I'm eating so i don't dump or get sick. we shall see. I wish you all luck :o)

Wow! what a feeling! I'm 60lbs from my goal....this is nuts. last time I was this size I was in my mid-20's. My brother saw me on my way out to a meeting and said "OMG..your not that fat girl anymore!! Crazy" I was even more shocked when some of my friends I had not seen in a long time said " ummm...where did you go?" looking me up and down...LOL! I would tell them about my weight loss journey and they just kept staring at me...funny I was use to people staring at me when I was fat and now they stare in amazement. It's just so hard to explain and so much harder to wrap my head around. Believe me i like the feeling, I like the way people treat me. It's made me a bit snobby too...not the kind of snob your thinking of perhaps more high maintenance is the word I should use. I wear make-up now, I do take good care of my hair (whats left of it) and I care about the clothes I wear. I use to where what ever, not wear makeup, not care if I was Grey haired or not, I was just go with the flow Amory and now even my husband is looking at me differently. Sex is much more enjoyable (because we all know fat sex is ass) we have had more sex in the last few months than we have had in years and it just made our marriage that much more stronger. You don't realize how weight plays a huge part in everything you do in life and in love. I'm glad i did this I'm so happy I did it....Oh and by the way....had the scope and the fix.....seems the stoma hole was too small and there was scar tissue blocking the opening. With a little stretch and a little burning away of the scar tissue and I'm like new. Bad part was I did wake up in the middle of the procedure choking on the tube in my throat...freaked me out!! they knocked me back out shortly after I woke up. But I can eat like I was meant to. This is awesome!!

So I'm down to 255lbs and the only problem is I still can't eat but 2 tea spoons of food and most food is really uncomfortable going down and sitting. I do have my gastro appointment in the morning and hopefully we can take care of that little pouch problem. I do have a great little recipe for you (not sure it's as healthy as I want to think it is ) I'm sure you will love it.

I go to a site called bariatric eating and I got the recipe for a guacamole that is healthy for you and bariatric friendly. Here is the recipe for that : http://www.bariatriceating.com/BEhealthnutrition/recipes/guacamole.php and a great salsa fresco that you will also need for this recipe: http://www.bariatriceating.com/BEhealthnutrition/recipes/salsafresca.php
 for the rest of this dinner you will need:

3lbs of boneless skinless chicken
2 table spoons of olive oil (light)
1 pk of ranch light dressing powder
a few shakes of dry cilantro or fresh if you want
1 small onion chopped up
1 teaspoon of garlic powder
2 table spoons light sour cream

Pour olive oil into 10 in skillet and rub around to cover bottom. Turn heat on high and place chicken into cook. 
Add Onions, Ranch, Cilantro, and Garlic powder. Cover and lower heat to medium. Simmer until tops of chicken are white. Turn over and sprinkle more Ranch, Garlic and Cilantro. Let simmer until bottom of chicken is light brown (cut  into the biggest part of each chicken to ensure it was cooked all the way through) Just before you take out the chicken add the Salsa Fresco to the top and cook for 1-3 min and serve with a side of guacamole and Light Sour Cream
Pic of Garlic Ranch Chicken (Enjoy!)

I know we are suppose to take all our vitamins and exercise. But lately that's been hard to do. I have a Bipolar/ ADHD/Aspergers teen who was stable for a long time and right now is not stable so all my attention has gone to him and his treatment until he is stable. I have slowed down in weight loss because of the stress and not really eating all that healthy. I had to put off my gastro appointment and now must wait until Nov.3rd to see about a scope. So now I eat Gerber baby Dino's in tomato sauce. They don't hurt going down and satisfy me. Still trying to get protein in but have not found a tasty choice as of yet and can't bring myself to choke down the other stuff. I have gotten on hubby about getting us a gym membership so we can both loose weight in a healthy way. Plus I really want to tighten up the skin so I have less plastic surgery in the future. I did notice that y hair is falling out left and right! It looks like a dog shed on the car seat! I was mortified at the amount of hair there. I feel how thin the hair on my head has become yet to on lookers it seems full enough. Well that's my update for now.

I have been waking up in the middle of the night with sore hips, arms, shoulders, and ribs. I think it really has to do with my weight loss. I have no padding anymore. Perhaps my bed is too hard but that never bothered me before. Lack of nutrition? lack of something? but what? Very annoying when all I get is 5-6hr of sleep a night. (yawn)  I have been on a cleaning spree lately. Just deep cleaning everything, partly because I'm board and partly because when I was skinny that is what I did. My whole house was very clean back when my kids were small and I was in my 20's (didn't we all?) I had more energy then and now that I have a taste of that back in life I run with it. I need to feel my 20's again even if I'm half way through my 30's now.

My daughter said something funny (well funny to me). She said "mom, when you were fat I could not get my arms all the way around you, then you lost some weight and I could touch my hands when I hugged you and now they over lap!" LOL! That made me feel a bit funny to here that and good all at the same time.

Some People think I will get too skinny and others are just pissed that I am getting skinny. I told them that this was not to get skinny but to save my life. I was going to die if I stayed fat and smoking. I only wish I could eat what they are all eating,but at the same time happy that I can be healthy and living! I choose to live for the ones I love. I have so much life to experience and I want that more!!

I made it to 266 Lbs. So excited! I haven't been 266 since 2003! That's just crazy when you start looking back at the old skinny you who turned into the fat you and now is going back to the skinny new you!! Did that make any sense at all? My Brother continues to harp on me telling me to write this stuff down. I don't think anyone in their right mind would read this but ya never know I guess.

So I'm still waiting on that scope to happen. I'm guessing because my apt is on the 20th of OCT that I won't get the scope until Nov. so I'm still only getting 2-3 bites of food at a sitting. Ugh, I just can't stand it! I stand in front of the fridge and stare into space. So many things I would like to have. Some cheese, a cucumber, some tuna or chicken and all those things scare me. It actually is uncomfortable to eat just 2 bites. I have to force myself to eat and endure. Tonight we had portabella mushrooms, with tuna mixed with a little bit of lemon, a touch of olive oil, some chopped up celery, oven baked with deli cheese melted over the top and a slice of tomato put on top. The first bite seemed okay (yes it was delicious) but as I chewed I thought please don't hurt. Sure enough it did hurt  a bit. Next bite i chewed well and just as i was about to swallow I decided to spit in in the trash and not chance the pain. This is just sad. Just sad.

I have been feeling very tired this week. I'm guessing I need more protein. Guess I need to make sure i get  the daily amount in better. Thanks for reading me ramble.

It's been awhile since my last post and there has been some changes. I noticed that over time I was unable to get more than 2 to 3 bites down at a time or 1/8 th of a cup. Then I was fighting dehydration. My eye lids were sticking to my eye balls, my mouth and lips were dry and i had small headaches. I was drinking tons of water and nothing helped. I called my doctor and she said that perhaps the pouch was made too small or that scar tissue had built up. She wants me to get a scope. I have an appointment tomorrow in the morning with the gastro doc. I'm frightened to eat anything of substance. So scared it may hurt or cause me to throw up. (I have thrown up 2x's since the surgery and I can say it's not fun and hurts even)
On a more positive note: I am feeling more energetic and doing things I never thought I would. Every weekend I use to sit on the couch and eat, nap and eat again. Now I make plans every weekend. Weather it's going to farmers markets, site seeing, dancing hula or going to a rodeo there is always something to do on the weekends. during the week I clean, run errands and enjoy a few of my hobby's. I have a new love for life and it's exciting and apparently contagious. I see the change in those around me and get embarrassed when they tell me I inspired them to make changes in their lives. I know I shouldn't feel embarrassed but I didn't think I inspired anyone let alone changed them. It feels good like I'm finally contributing to society.

I sit here just finished some crackers and feeling very full. I am still only able to eat about 1/4 cup. It kinda sucks because i don't feel like I'm eating enough to live. It freaks me out. But with added protein and the impossible amount of water I have to drink daily there really is not much I can eat with all that any way. I did venture out on a limb today and have egg salad.

Amory's Egg Salad

5 hard boiled eggs
1 tsp mustard
and 1 tsp light mayo
a pinch of salt and pepper to taste
(you can add relish if you want )

Mix well and eat small bites

It was good, went down well and didn't make me sick at all.

I got a call from my nutritionist the other day. seems I pissed him off. I called wondering what I needed to do to keep from getting dehydrated. He told me if I didn't get a handle on it I would have to go into the office and get and IV started I believe his words were "lets not screw around with this okay?"  He sounded angry or irritated. I felt bad. So I'm working on getting that 48oz of water in my system. wish me luck!

Feel free to add me (just make sure you message me and let me know your on OH so i don't ignore your request)
Amory Hokulani Lawrence Steward | Create your badge
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I am feeling more and more like myself everyday. Still tired and still a tad sore (just around my wounds) but nothing awful. I feel my clothes getting bigger and bigger on me, my skin more loose everyday and it's very noticeable in my face and hands. I had to move my wedding band over to my right hand so i don't loose it by accident. I went from 300lbs to 275lbs in 16days. It's a concept I'm still getting use to. I already had issues with jealousy. one of my friends was saying to me " I support you in this but don't think it's healthy, Just don't get too skinny okay? I don't want you to look sick. And another friend is depressed and apparently is getting bigger as the days go on. I hear that the thought of me being skinny upsets her and she's internalizing it. I find it weird and was told to try not to talk to her about it. Some people...I just don't get it. I hope she finds the answers to her issues and not let this come between us. 

I have a Doctors appointment on Monday. I will update then. Wishing you good luck on your journey.
~ Hokulani