HuskyPapi
I should begin by saying I do not believe that "Fat" is the enemy. There are many beautiful fat healthy people in the world. I have always been one of them. I learned to love my big body and I never had a shortage of dates. I even lived in a clothing optional retreat center for awhile as a fat person. For a long time I was very against WLS...to be honest I felt like it was a tool for the fat hating movement that is so prevalent in our society.
This is the same societal sanctioned discrimination and hatred that was causing people to starve them selves, becoming anorexic and bulimic because they thought that that was the only way to be truly be loved and accepted. It all seemed to be a tangle web of self hatred and WLS and the WL industry factored into that. So I shunned the idea of radical surgery and even spoke out about it on occasion. Lets call that time my young adult years....
Now fast forward to the (late) 30's ... I still love my body but I begin to notice that my numbers on the scale continue to climb despite having a fairly healthy diet. I notice that traveling by plane had become unbearable. I begin to be a regular in my doctor’s office...first for high blood pressure...then sleep apnea....then the dreaded diabetes diagnosis. I started going to sleep thinking “I hope I don't have a heart attack in my sleep tonight"
My world became a lot smaller. I stopped feeling as social. I started to notice disgusted looks from people in the grocery store even when I was buying healthy food. I started not to care as much and became a regular at the drive through because it somehow felt anonymous even though the morning guy at Micky D's knew me by name.
Every day became a challenge as I approached 400lbs. I felt as though I was spiraling and running out of options.
That was when I began to consider surgery. I tried many times to lose weight and like many of us...I would lose a little and then gain a lot more back.
I explored all of the surgery options. I originally wanted the VSG- but insurance would not pay and I do not have the resources to fly to Mexico to have it done. I for a short time considered the lap band but didnt want to have to deal with fills and the maintenance involved. After much much deliberation I decided on a Lap RNY. My goal weight is 225...which is where some people start this journey. I don't anticipate being thin...nor is it really desired. I just want to be healthy.
Currently I have broken up with the drive thru....I am awaiting my surgery date and the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I still consider myself a Fat Activist. I will continue to find fat bodies attractive. I will continue to educate people that fat discrimination is NOT acceptable and I will do so in a body that is healthier for me.
