I can't wait until Friday

Jan 28, 2013

I had a good day yesterday.  I tracked all of my food, activity and water.  I'm not really "dieting" but did not have any wine or snacks after dinner last night.  I ran home after work, cooked pasta and reheated the chicken parm/sauce for the kids to eat for dinner.  I put the catfish in the oven and had them take it out for me and went to the gym.  Did my Aqua Power Hour, which I LOVE!  Got in a really good workout and felt great afterward.  I showered at the gym, but left my hair wet so I could do it when I got home.  I had a piece of the fish (my food scale came yesterday, but the batteries they provided must be dying...it only says Lo!! Have to get new batteries today!).  I also ate some salad and some whole grain angel hair pasta.  After dinner, I did my introductory assignment for one of my classes (the other I did at lunch time), and then dried and curled my hair.  By the time I was done all of that, it was almost 10:00!  I made myself a cup of sleepy time tea and sat down with the hubby to watch a little tv.  I should have gone to bed.  There was nothing on!  But I didn't snack!!  I am really trying to be aware of what/why I am eating.  I definitely have an issue with "rewarding" myself at night, but also for grazing to stay awake.  I do NOT want to do that anymore!  I remember when I was finally able to break my smoking habit, part of it was I was so sick of cigarettes ruling my life.  The same goes for food!

One of the things that is freaking me out, though, is the no drinking water with meals...that is such a foreign concept!  I know that eating slower and timing my eating/drinking is going to be so hard to get used to.  I wish I were further along in the process.  Just waiting til Friday to have my initial meeting is making me crazy.  I feel like I am two steps ahead of that part already!

I have been trying to picture my life and ME after surgery.  I don't want to have this huge inter tube around my mid section anymore.  I want to sit down and not feel like I am choking on my own internal organs.  I want to get into a plane seat and not have to sweat like a pig trying to get the stinking seat belt buckled (that was a rude awakening!!).  I want to look at pictures of myself and not think I look like someone stuck an air hose into me.  I still look the same, but way PUFFIER!  I do not want to take all of these medicines anymore and still worry constantly that I am a ticking time bomb.  Sigh...I want to be healthy again.

I am so looking forward to Friday.  I know my husband is very hesitant about this.  I told him some of the websites I have checked out and I think he looked at some. He's coming with me though on Friday, so hopefully this will help him understand the process better.  I feel to my core, though, that this is RIGHT.  I need to do this for myself, and I need to do it right away.  I am too young to be this obese and this sick.  I don't really feel the effects of the sickness yet, but my body is slowly deteriorating.  I want this to stop, and I want to take back control of my own body and life.

So that's my blog today...I hope everyone out there is feeling fine!

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