kenken
another boring blog !!!
May 24, 2010
after reading so many blogs over the past two years about where people are and their experiences through weight loss surgery . I'm just as tired as you are and quit bored with it all. even though i know its important for people (and myself) to "get it out", to "share"........i still go to support groups not to "hear" how people are doing ,but more so to "feel" how they are doing.so here i am writing another boring blog, and here you are reading one. and no matter what i write its going to sound like everyone else who is almost two years out, trying to convey something new on how we look, feel,fear, how people treat us different now that we've lost 150, 200lbs....(treat us better and worse), how people who "spoke" to us before surgery never say a word to us now without any explanation, how people who "never spoke" to us before surgery smile and make conversation like we are old friends. The occasional conversation with a friend who is secretly jealous that u weigh less than they do, work out more than they do. family who cant stand the fact that you are happier than they are........how for their own selfish reasons wish u never had the surgery-- because you are never home much anymore, dont want the same foods they still eat, cant shop for clothes where they shop--......jealous because you can get on the Sea-Do and ride it without fear of falling off (its almost impossible for a obese person to get back on a water craft after falling off in the water, we cant push ourselves up...most end up being towed back).......how people at the gym.(especially trainers)..stare, wondering how u lost that much weight!
and i, you, try to remain humble, knowing that surgery was a true "Gift", one that must be taken care of, must not be forgotten, abused. Fear of the "old" us keeps us jogging, weight training....moving. everyday learning more about who we really are, what we really need, want out of life, from others
trying to find love, dating has been a whirlwind......my buddy laughs at me because its hard for me to pick up on the Q's of when a girl is coming on to me.......i think she is just trying to make conversation........having never been hit on in the past, you dont always see/ hear the signs................... its an amazing feeling, a humbling feeling to see a smoking hot Hispanic girl come in to Starbucks behind you just after she finished working out, thinking "yeah, maybe one day".........and have her come up to the coffee bar standing next to you while she fixes her drink and before leaving asks you " if i give u you something would you use it".....after a short look of bewilderment..you look down to see she has handed you her name and number.........lol, sometimes dreams come true, but now what do i do with the dream, is this what i Really wanted, and why do i want this?? ( I'm not a flake, i mean i know what to do...but......) a new frontier for sure..........but i have a girlfriend, one so pretty people ask me "how did u get her ??"
scary, do i mess up a good thing for something else....
was i so different before surgery?? i feel like the same person inside, how can perceptions about a person change so much just through losing weight, people who met me after surgery never believe i use to weigh so much.
i think more questions have come into my life after surgery than before, more options, more choices, more decisions to make....not all of them will be the right one of course, but its both fun and a little scary. and when will it end, i wake up every day thinking that today is the day i go back to being 425lbs, the ride/ the dream is over
and in my head, I'm still 425lbs, i still think like a fat person, still overeat.....whats the surgical procedure that fixes that??? and whats next for me?? how will i look, 6moths, 6 years from now??
whatever, I'm done..thanks for checking in , and for reading another boring blog...........KEN
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About Me
CA
Location
29.8
BMI
Surgery
09/15/2008
Surgery Date
May 16, 2008
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
