kevinwholder

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Has it really been that long since I last posted here?? OMG!!! 

Well, things have changed for the best.. I left my old job back in October 2009 and came on board with a fantastic company based out of California. I still live in Georgia and now work from home. Much harder than I thought ti would be, but great overall...

I did put on a few pound over the winter and spring, but quickly losing that and getting back to my goal weight once again. It really gets easier to gain weight the farther out you are from surgery.

Sadly, my partners mother died unexpectedly back in March 2010 and this was a huge shock for all of us. She was a wonderful lady and a great mother. I posted a video on YouTube.com in memory of her. Just search for "Karen Barton" if you would like to view it.

After Karen passed, we took in two precious mexican dogs.. (I CANT SPELL THE NAME)... LOL.... They are named Diva and MiMi.. Wonderful dogs and Diva and I are bonding quite nicely. :-)

I hope that all of you are doing well and prospering.

September is rolling along and the holiday seaason is fast approaching. What a difference a day makes in our lives. One day you may be sad and the next you are happy. Then you have those days that you feel guilty and then there are days you don't. Hmm.. Interesting I must say.. Well, let me me say this - I love me and I love my life now.. I am happy and will stand by these words form this day forward....

I CONTROL MY LIFE ..... MY LIFE NO LONGER CONTROLS ME ... YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME HAVE A BAD DAY... IF THERE IS OXYGEN ON EARTH AND I AM BREATHING - IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY IN THESE EYES"

I have allowed so many things in my life to start controlling me and no more!!! I control my life.. I love life and those that are part of my life..

It is now getting close to the end of August and I look back on the past year and there were SO MANY changes that happened. Each and every day life is getting better and moving forward. I feel like certain parts of my life actaully died (and they did) but were replaced with something so much more magical and special. I cannot begin to tell you how hard it was when my partner and I (of nine years) split up. I admit that I am the one that initiated it all. I will never place blame where it should no be accurately placed. I truly felt that we would simply grow apart and that we would slowly lose contact but that has not been the case. We have remained friends and I thank God for that.. I truly hoped that he would remain a part of my life after the seperation. It was TOUGH - I am man enough to admit it.. But, he is now a much happier person and I see that in his smile. He has found a great guy it seems and I could not be happier for him.

As for me, I too have found someone that is so special to me.. We recently got back from a ten day vacation in AL and FL and had a wonderful time together. He is a wonderful man and has captured a part of my heart that I felt would go uncaptured for a long time.. I tell him he messed up my being single time.. LOL

Anyway - everyone says that flowers bloom in the spring .. I guess for two ATL boys - we saw flowers bloom too :-)

Time to hop on that bus and hit the road. I work in corporate america now, but every now and then I go back on the road to sing. The upcoming weeks are going to be filled with my spring season of concerts. I plan to travel across multiple states and rack up some miles and will have a wonderful time doing so. I ask that you keep me in your prayers so that I can do what I have been called to do.

I just want to say THANK YOU to each and every person that has supported me and prayed for me. Some have come and some have gone, but I still love each and every one of you. My journey has only just begun. If I hurt you, I am sorry. If I made you happy, I thank God for that. Whatever the reason and whatever the cause, just know I would never intentionally hurt anyone or do anything to cause harm.

Each day is a new day and it seems that each day I awake I am seeing a new life present itself. I never realized that one person could change so much.

Believer me when I say I am a better person. I truly am. I LOVE YOU

So many things have changed in my life. Some good and some bad, but all were destined to happen.

I am a different person and I must admit that I am happy. I am a new person. The old Kevin is forever gone and will never be back. Is this bad, partially - but not all that is bad is "truly" bad..

As I reflect on the transitions in my life over the past eight months, I admit that there are regrets, sadness, many tears shed and heartache. I made very hard decisions that affected many more than just myself. Though it all, I wanted to be happy with me and my life. But I found out that it was not really about me.. It was about YOU... YOU know who you are.. I know that you know and feel the same that we simply had grown apart. I have no doubt that you loved me, but my heart would not allow me to keep pulling you along the way that I was.. You pushed and pushed to work something out and I fought you every step of the way. Why? I still do not know. You are a WONDERFUL person and you deserved better than what I could give you.

Not a day goes by that I do not miss you and the kitties.. However, I feel in my heart that I did what I felt was right. Does it hurt? YES.. Do I miss you? YES-EVERY DAY.. Did ever mean to hurt you? HELL NO. Did I? YES.. AM I SORRY? I WILL BE SORRY EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE..

I talked to friends and they have kept me updated and said you have blossomed into that person they always knew you were. You are outgoing, more active and a socialite again. They see you smiling and laughing. THAT makes my heart smile when I hear that.

Vice versa, these same friends tell me that I am a different person and many tell me the same things. They could see the two of us growing apart, but it was up ot us to see what had to be done..

The hardest thing I ever did was to let you go as my partner.. The best things I could have done was exactly the same. You have spread your wings and are flying baby.. I will forever be your friend and be here for you - no matter what.

As for me, I am a new man. Self reliant, self sufficient.. Pitfalls and struggles have presented themselves, but I am making it. I am such a different person now. Each day is a new day and I worship each and every one of them.

Where am I now? Well, let's just say --- I AM HAPPY..

Why did I write this? I am in tears as I do -- I felt I needed to and so happy I did.. It does not relieve the pain - but it allows me to move forward day by day by day

Today I am at 27 "Marginally overweight. Some risk"

Stated at 40.4

Woo Hoo

It has been a while since I last posted huh?

Well, the weight loss has slowed down and that is fine with me.. I am now at a very comfortable 220lbs and have only 20lbs to go until I reach my updated goal of 200lbs.

What a journey this has been this far and I will admit, I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!

I went shopping the other day to buy some new clothes and for the first time since I was a freshman in high school, I put on a size 34w and a large shirt.. Compare that to 46w and XXXL before surgery. I stood in that store and let those tears of joy flow freely. A lady cam over and asked what was wrong and I told her my story and she had the biggest smile on her face and hugged me and congratulated me.. WHAT A FEELING!!

I give all of the credit and thanks to you God!! YOU are still in the healing business!! 

Till next time my friends!!!

I thought it was about time I posted some pics.. Here ya go..

Shots from the front (1st=day of surgery on 3/15/7 & 2nd=6/28/7 with 80 lbs gone)

Shots from the side

I have hit a plateau and have been teeter-tottering from 231-233 for the past three weeks. 

First big plateau for me and just have to wait through it.. The weight will start falling again soon..

FUNFUNFUN