Kelle F.

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Oh no! More tests. Went yesterday for pre-opp testing and instruction. I am more convinced than ever that the Barix Clinic is the right place for me. I was so incredibly impressed with everyone I saw. The bummer is that I need to have a new sleep study done, which in itself isn't a problem, just getting one scheduled within the next two weeks could be impossible without going to a hospital out of town. I do see the neurologist tomorrow and maybe he can pull some strings. Need a pulmonary test done at a hospital because I exceeded the weight limit on their machine, that's scheduled for Monday, June 5. Here’s the real kicker. I need to be able to walk for 10 minutes every two hours. Last year they told me I had to be able to walk 50 feet, which I’ve been working on and can do. But I can only walk for about 3 minutes. They want me to see a Physical Therapist. That’s okay too. It just looks like my surgery could be delayed. I am having a tough time dealing with this set back, but I have no plans to give up. I’m just disappointed and bummed out. I see the Physical Therapist and Neurologist tomorrow. We’ll see.

It's Friday and I go on Tuesday for my pre-opp testing. I think the last couple of days the reality that this is going to happen is starting to hit me. It's a little over two weeks away. I think after Tuesday when my tests are done and I get a final okay for surgery it may seem real finally. That and the fact that we will talk with the docs and tour the hospital.

Work is crazy. I have so much I want to accomplish before I go out on leave and of course I chose to commit to a huge project that needs to be done before I leave. My choice, no one else’s and I'm super excited about it, but I am starting to feel the stress of it. Probably a good thing to keep my mind occupied though.

I have friends who have shared how scared they are and I appreciate their support and caring but I'm not really scared (at least not yet) because God has put me on this path at the right time in my life for reasons beyond my comprehension and I feel his Grace. I know that doesn't mean I won't get scared at some point in the next couple of weeks, but I know I'm in his hands.

My date is June 13. My preadmission testing is scheduled exactly two weeks before on May 30. I must admit I'll continue to be a little nervous until I get through all the tests and say it's a go. 

People keep asking if I'm scared. I'm not sure what to say. I guess the fact that I don't instantly say, yes I am, means that I am not. Concerned? I don't think that fits either. 

I was convinced for years that surgery was not the route for me. Heard arguments on both sides of the fence and decided that I didn't hate my life enough to risk it. I know that's hard for many to believe being as heavy as I am, but it's true. I have my faith, my family and my friends and a job that makes me feel alive. Either I'm thrilled and having fun or angry and frustrated. Either way it's always new and interesting. I know many people my weight have had to quit work. I have been fortunate that hasn't been necessary for me. Our local Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation helped me get an electric wheelchair that has been invaluable and most of my job happens at a desk anyway.

I have a coworker who had the surgery almost 3 years ago and lost over 200 lbs. She never forced her views on me although she was clearly a much happier person and never regretted a thing. The day I finally asked about it she gladly answered all my questions. That day, out of desperation of truly fearing I may soon lose my life, I made the call to the Barix Clinic in Columbus Ohio . I prayed before I picked up the phone and the Good Lord has been answering that prayer ever since.

So to answer their question..am I scared? No. I know God let me to this place and I feel complete peace about it. Either I have surgery to help lose the weight in a Bariatric center with a doctor who specializes and has performed hundreds of successful surgeries on people my size or I end up in an emergency room with something wrong in the hands of a surgeon who may or may not have experience with patients my size. All of the sudden it seemed like a no brainer and I haven't looked back. I had to jump through hoops for my insurance company and the only concerns I had is that for some reason they wouldn't approve me.

Got a call from doctor's office. I've been approved! Now just waiting for the letter in writing to get movin' towards surgery. And I was approved! I'm a little in shock, a little numb. It's been so many months of not knowing, I'm not sure it's sunk in yet.  I do think once I've had my preadmission testing it may become more real and I may get nervous. That's okay. That's normal.

Found out my info was sent to insurance today. Really nervous waiting. Hope this goes fast. My first try was last July and I was declined because I didn't have 6 months of documented diet with my doctor. My doctor doesn't even have a scale that will weight me. Neither does Weight Watchers so even though I tried Southbeach and Atkins during that time, it wasn't documented. So I started seeing my doc and a nutritionist every month. I saw a therapist for a couple months but we just didn't click so I stopped. But both my nutritionist and doctor wrote beautiful cover letters to send with my records so I am hopeful.