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I know I haven't blogged in a long time.  I am about 15 months out of surgery.  I have lost 168 lbs!!!  I weigh less than the amount of weight I have lost.  I'm getting concerned now.  I think I have lost too much weight at this point.  I want some curves back.  I know this is crazy but I envy big girls now.  I never thought I would do that.  Bigger girls are so attractive to me now and weren't before.  I am wearing size 10 pants and they are getting too big!  I wear a small or medium on top!  I even borrow my 10 year olds shirts and jackets.  I just want to gain about 10 to 15 lbs, then I will feel better.  I'm too tall to be this skinny. 

I can't believe the year has flown like it has.  There has been a lot of ups and downs along this journey.  For the most part I'm very happy I had this surgery.  I have lost a total of 154 lbs!  I'm very excited about that.  My energy has sky rocketed.  I used to want to lay around every chance I got but not anymore.  I will have to post some pictures very soon.  I hope everyone is having a good journey.

  I am loving life and being smaller.  I wish I would have done this a long time ago.  Thank God for His blessings upon my life.

So my boyfriend of the past year has finally informed me after I confronted him that he is no longer attracted to me because I have gotten too skinny!!  What?  I knew things were different between us, I knew he made me feel like I was not attractive and not commenting on my weightloss.  Today I called him and said I know your feelings have changed and there is nothing I can do to change them back so I think we should go our seperate ways.  He has been lately accusing me of cheating.  I know it is his own insecurities not mine.  He even admitted that to me, that he goes for bigger girls because they will be less likely to leave him instaed of a smaller girl.  I never thought that I would be with someone before wls that was not willing to be with me after.  I thought it would be the other way around.  Oh well, I think its a blessing in disguise because he had me feeling like I made a mistake and that maybe I should sabotage myself so I wont lose anymore weight.  I am still over 200 pounds (far from too skinny)!!  I have decided that I am not getting involved with anyone else for awhile. I need to do some serious soul searching and take care of me and my daughter without any distraction.  It is a relief that I know now but I just never thought it would happen to me.

Hello everyone!  I went to my 6 month check up today and everything is going good.  I have lost 29 lbs since March.  I am down 110 lbs altogether.  I am now in a size 16!  I am very excited about that.  I went to goodwill this weekend and got some pants and capris.  I could not believe that these things fit!  Life is going really good and I am praising God for his mercy and grace.  I am moved into my new place.  I live in a nice townhouse with my daughter and have very friendly neighbors.  I feel very blessed and cannot take any of it for granted.  Also I got hit on by 2 guys yesterday.  It was very flattering.  The one man was a cable guy and I was sitting outside and he was just smiling away at me.  He told me I was beautiful, I got all shy.  The other guy is a  neighbor of my friend.  He came over and asked me if I would like to go to Kennywood on Saturday with him.  He kept saying you are so beautiful.  I was like wow look at God!  He really wants me to feel better about myself.  I really do!

I just wanted to drop a couple lines since I haven't done so since Easter.  I am doing good just trying to keep going.  I am down to about 220 now from my highest of 327!  I am very excited about the summer ahead.  I am busy all the time and walk everywhere since my car situation is still not good.  I found a place and I plan on moving very soon.  I am kind of at a stand with that since I do not have a car yet.  Things will happen when they are suppose to, I just have to stay patient.  God is going to care of me and my daughter.  I used to have all kinds of clothes that fit me, now I have a total of 2 pairs of jeans that fit me!  I am not complaining but I do not want to buy anymore pants until I know what size I am going to be.  I need to up my protein intake.  I am losing hair, luckily I have a lot of it so it is not that noticeable.  I hope everyone is doing well.  I should get back to work now.  I just wanted to make sure I kept in touch.  Take care and God bless

Hello.  Like it says on my title I hope everyone had a great easter.  I did.  I spent the morning in church and it was a beautiful service.  Then my  daughter and I went and had dinner a family's house that we go to church with.  Everything was so good.  I had a little of everything.  Then we went to my friend's house for an easter egg hunt.  It was such a beautiful day and the spirit was awesome all around us.  I went home last night and slept so good.  I have posted a picture of me and one of my daughter in our  Easter dresses.  I just feel very good right now about my life and things are starting to look up.  I see me getting away from the bad relationship very soon.  I think he has found someone new to use.  I hope he has, I just stay away from him as much as I can.  I didn't see him at all this weekend and I had a wonderful weekend.  Just keeping praying for me.  I hope everyone is doing well.  I am not sure what I weigh at this point, I do not like weighing myself too much so I haven't weighed lately.   I will update you all with very soon.

Hi everyone.  I am just posting a blog because it has been awhile.  Nothing really has changed in my life since my last blog.  I am still looking for a place to live and I still have not got my car fixed.  I do have a van that my mom is letting me used but it is 20 years old which makes me nervous.  My wieghtloss has slowed down a little.  I am at 235 which is ok for right now.  I need to start concentrating on getting my exercise in and my water and protein.  I try but sometimes life gets in the way.  I really do not know a whole lot right  now.  I woke up in good spirits this morning but as the day goes on that has changed.  I am in a fowl mood.  I am not sure really why but I get like this pretty much every other day.  I just hope that things look up soon.  Please stay in touch and keep up the good work everyone.  God bless

Well I went to the doctor today for my 3 month follow up and I am happy to say that I am down 55 lbs since surgery and 81 lbs since I started this journey!  I am very excited with my weightloss.  I just wish other things in my life were going as well.  My relationship has pretty much turned abusive over the last month.  It makes me nervous and trapped.  I have tried to leave but threats are there now and I am not sure what to do.  There have been only 2 episodes of the rage that he has shown and the last one was this weekend.  I had told him after he put his hands on me the first time that if it happened again I was done.  I am scared of what he would do if I were to tell him its over.  I just really want him to find someone new and be done with me.  That would be so much easier.  The reason for the altercation is because of my lovely car.  It broke down and it fustrated us both and he took it out on me.  So my relationship is bad, my car is bad, and I am living with a friend, so my housing situation is bad.  I am not complaining  I know that things have to look up soon.  They just have to and I know where my help comes from, the Lord.  He promised He would take care of me and I have complete faith.  I really want to enjoy this weightloss but my mind is preoccupied with these things.  I am still blessed that I do have a roof over my head and food on the table and a beautiful daughter that keeps me going.  Things will get better as long as you keep praying and that is what I plan to do.